Pucker Up!

GET

A

ROOM

NOW!!!

Oh celebipoos, it’s sooo great that you have found love (for the next fifteen minutes) but why do you have to flaunt your love affairs for all the world to see. Giving each other some sugar in public is just plain repulsive. So stick your tongues back in your own faces and get yourself to a motel that swanky $2,000 a night Ritz Carlton presidential suite your “loins” are craving!

You know what actually may be worse than catching Janice Dickinson giving some sugar to a man about half her son’s age?

Actually taking the phrase “give me some sugar” literally.

Borrowing a cup of sugar from your neighbor, racing to the coffee shop because YOU NEED THAT triple shot of syrup in your morning brew… sneaking a spoonful of sugar from the pantry when no one is looking… All of these acts are just as bad as seeing Kelsey Grammer topless kissing his lady love.

Sugar, in all of its forms, can trigger processes that could possibly lead to a chronic disease pandemic including liver toxicity.

Why should we care about our livers? Well lets just say they are as important to our functioning bodies as fake tans are to the cast of Jersey Shore.

(Hot damn! Where did you get your hat?)

So while viewing celebrities groping in public may be incredibly disturbing, sucking down sugar may actually be naughtier.

Whoops. Did I just put a damper on your Valentine’s Day? Are you reading this while¬†macerating a disgusting Marshmallow Peep? Well just think about…

Yeah, that’s enough to turn anyone off of sugar… fake boobs, tattoos and… corn row dreadlocks?

Comments

  1. ewww. that kanye/amber one is the worst. But is Janice really serious? I hope like hell for that dude’s sake she was joking

  2. Yes, I support Janice Dickinsons juicyness!! Cougars for life!!!!! Happy Valentines Day!!!!! —– LOVE YOU,,,, ANONYMOUS!

  3. AHHHHHH!! That Janice Dickinson kiss is too freaking much! My eyes! MY EYES!

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  1. [...] Bull is a mix of sugar and caffeine, or in other words, the elixir of liver failure. Chicken winging it isn’t [...]

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