It’s time to get SMART in the New Year


So you want to start fresh because it’s a new year, right?

Well then it’s time to get SMART!

(For the purpose of this post today, I will be using Lindsay Lohan and Charlie Sheen as examples for how to get SMART!)

While I am not going to recommend that you read Nightwood by Djuna Barnes or Finnegans Wake by James Joyce… Because to be honest, I have having a hard time believing that Lindsey or Charlie can actually read.

I am however going to recommend that you…

  • S: Make Your New Year Resolutions Specific… If Lindsay finally decides to give up the sauce, she needs to be extremely specific. Nix the cocaine and every single ingestible liquid that contains alcohol… This includes mouthwash. An in-patient alcohol rehabilitation centers can help her with that. 

Lindsay Lohan Drinking

Oh yeah, that’s just Pallegrino…

  • M: Make Your New Year Resolutions Measurable… For Charlie, this would mean getting his 30, 60, 90 sobriety chip at his AA meetings. Can you make it 365 days without the tiger blood, Charlie? Winning!

Alcohol Free Beer

Alcohol-Free, The Way To Be!

  • A: Make Your New Year Resolutions Attainable… It is very realistic for Lindsay to abolish drugs and alcohol from her life, however it’s not all very realistic to say that Lindsay won’t ever go to a nightclub, after all, her “job” depends on it.

Lindsey Lohan as Liz Taylor

Anyone rip their eyes out while watching this monstrosity? Liz probably turned over in her grave.

  • R: Make Your New Year Resolutions Relevant… Giving up hookers, now that’s relevant to Charlie… However, it’s not all that relevant for Lindsay… Oh wait a minute…

Charlie Sheen and Lindsey Lohan

You guys didn’t know they were dating?

  • T: Make Resolutions Time Specific… Lindsay and Charlie are lucky in that their jobs give them time frames for which they need to “shape up” (these two REALLY need to work on this aspect of the SMART acronym) … For the rest of us, an impending event, deadline or the second Friday in March, are all time frames that you can use to help you focus on your goal.

Lindsey Lohan Fuck You Nails

Clearly deadlines help Lindsey get back on track…?

 

BY THE WAY…

If you’re REALLY looking to start the new year off on the right foot (literally & figuratively)… Then everyone, whether or not it’s your goal to lose weight, ditch cigarettes, get ahead at work, ride a Unicorn through a lush pasture full of honey… Whatever…

You should ALL start EXERCISING! (Lindsey & Charlie INCLUDED)

I was fortunate enough to receive a MYSTERY package at my doorstep a few weeks ago only to reveal (after I ripped the box open like a paper shredder)… A BRAND NEW PAIR OF Saucony Guide 6 Sneakers!

Saucony Guide 6

Light-weight, yet filled with jet fuel!

The Sneaker Gods (AKA: Fitfluential) rock my world! 

These kicks, that are super lightweight, will have you kicking (man, I am GOOD) to go in the new year, so you should definitely get your hands on a pair of these make you feel like you have jet packs attached to your feet sneakers!

Buzz Light Year

To INFINITY AND BEYOND!!

In all seriousness though, who doesn’t want to be a SMART-E!

Linds, Charlie, I am forcing you both to raise your hands right now.

 

Comments

  1. Your posts always always make me smile! I love your humor! Happy 2013!!!!

  2. Hahahaha you crack me up girl! Thank you for writing an actually entertaining New Years post! :)
    Ari @ Ari’s Menu recently posted..Buffalo Chicken SaladMy Profile

    • Ah ha ha ha ha aha ha! You’re VERY welcome ;) Hope you had a ROCKING evening and well wait a second, I hope you have a ROCKING 2013!!!

  3. Oh la la… pretty shoes! ;) I cannot hardly stand the entertainment that is this post. What a nice change from the usual.. Do this, not that posts. You daaa bomb.. diggity. (I’m bringing this phrase back from its 1982 era) ;-)
    Kacie @ Savvy Sassy Me recently posted..Polar FT40 Heart Rate Monitor ReviewMy Profile

    • Ah ha ha ha! I hope you take the advice of Lindsay and… Not star in a movie called Liz & Dick! ;) Ah ha ha ha ah!! NOW THAT IS DAA BOMB DIGGITY, no doubt (LOL… Oh that song, was that Blackstreet or something?? Oh great, now the song is in my head…. Get down…LOL)

  4. I am whoaaa jealous of your new kicks!! Those will be perfect while you tone your ass on the elliptical! I love Buzz Lightyear and you just used him in this post, so that means I love you..more than I did before!! GUESS WHAT I am going to go run right now..HAPPY NEW YEAR!
    Brittany recently posted..NYE-I’m Getting OldMy Profile

    • RUN RUN RUN RUN!!! Weeeeeee!!!!!! :) To INFINITY AND BEYOND BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Happy New YEAR!!!!! This year will bring us together…….. Perhaps we can be the BREAD of a Charlie Sheen Sandwich?? LMFAO! Uh, no!

  5. Aww so jealous you got the sneaks! They look so pretty :) Congrats – you’ll have to let me know how they are!!
    Sarah @ mymostlyhealthylife recently posted..Happy New Year!My Profile

  6. Another great post! I definitely subscribe to the SMART concept :)
    Kareen recently posted..How I lost 40 LBS – S.M.A.R.T. Goals for 2013My Profile

  7. Amber @ ExSoyCise says:

    This made me laugh out loud :) Love your new sneakers! Happy new year doll!
    Amber @ ExSoyCise recently posted..Starting 2013 Off with a 21 Day Sugar Detox!My Profile

    • Ah ha ha!! I am thrilled to hear it… At least we have Charlie & Lindsay for a good laugh, if nothing else, right? LOL – Happiest of New Years to you too! :)

  8. Saucony’s were the first really good running shoe I ever had!

    Lindsay and Charlie are so far off the crazy side of the hot / crazy scale, that no amount of hot could make them worth it!

    • Ah ha ha ha ha! No Kidding, Even if either of these “celebrities” make a comeback, it won’t be long until they all off the wagon again! Happy New Year!

  9. HIlarious! I am so jealous of your new kicks.
    Dara recently posted..White Bean Pesto SoupMy Profile

  10. Yes, Smart goals plus exercising- that sums up my philosophy as well. Those new sneaks are awesome!
    Laura @ Mommy Run Fast recently posted..New Year’s WIAW + Avocado Tuna SaladMy Profile

    • :) Happy New Year!! If you did made any resolutions, I hope you followed your own philosophy as well as mine :) — And apparently Lindsay Lohans? lol

  11. You are so right, our tips are very similar! Except mine are targeted at people who might actually change haha! Lilo and Charlie are broken records…though everybody deserves a second, er, third, er, fiftieth chance, right?
    Whitney “To Live and Diet in L.A.” recently posted..The Secret to Keeping Your Weight Loss ResolutionMy Profile

  12. Lovin’ my Saucony Triumphs too…i sprinted the crap out of those things last night. It’s how I roll.
    Brad Gouthro Fitness recently posted..My BIG 2013 Goal – What Are Yours? #LLTVMy Profile

  13. Poor little LiLo. I do love her. If Brittany can turn it around, there’s hope…
    Laura @ Sprint 2 the Table recently posted..Turkey Beer ChiliMy Profile

  14. Ooohhh new shoes? Sorry, shoes trump LL or CS ;-) Fun post!!
    Heather (Where’s the Beach) recently posted..More Veggies and Blood Clot TalkMy Profile

  15. love youur blog =]
    melanie recently posted..day 35! down 4 pounds!My Profile

  16. Fun post! Diggin’ the new shoes!
    Kierston recently posted..#RECIPEFRIDAY: Protein Packed Hummus!My Profile

  17. I feel so bad for Martin Sheen (as a parent). What went wrong???

    Thanks for making SMART goal setting fun again!
    Tamara recently posted..#FatblasterFriday | Fitknitchick’s DietBet ‘Weigh In’ WorkoutMy Profile

    • Man, I don’t know, I mean look am Emilio, he turned out… fine? LOL!!! Oh well, at least Charlie gives us an example of WHAT NOT to do! Ah ha ha! ;)

  18. You really crack me up GiGi! I do not need any celebrity mag (even though I really stay away from them) -when I have you! Watch out People magazine-GiGi is going to eat cha. ;) Poor Charlie and Lindsay- oh sigh…

    • Ah ha ha ha ha! Man I certainly hope one day People Magazine has to watch their back b/c of me! LOL! I am glad you come to me so I can fill the celebrity gossip void in your life ;)

  19. Happy New Year GiGi !!, well here’s two people with the world at the finger tips and they smoked, drank and may have even snorted it away. Wonder what their babys would be like :/ scary thought. I hope to see you kicking it hard on some TV shows in them new skips, looking foward to a new year of your humor and advice. :)

  20. I had a patient this past week who drank a LARGE bottle of Listerine to prevent withdrawal seizures!!! So sad, but sort of funny, to read it on here too! And no, it wasn’t Lindsay Lohan ;)

    Happy NYE! Awesome article (as always!)
    Serena Marie RD recently posted..New Years Resolutions for Determined PeopleMy Profile

    • OMG that is a bit sad!!!!!! And yes, I am totally giggling right now, LOL!

      Happy New Years to you too Serena!! Thank you so much for frequenting my blog, I truly appreciate it!!!!!

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