Throw a Touchdown Pass at the Grocery Store


I don’t know about you, but the second I enter a grocery store (ESPECIALLY, Whole Foods, hmm… the SAMPLES!)… I turn into what a five-year-old entering DISNEY LAND might look like!

SEAFOOD!

CAKES & COOKIES! (No, I DO NOT PURCHASE THESE THINGS! I only go down this aisle to get ideas for GiGi Eats Groceries episodes, DUH!)

PRODUCE!

THE DELI SECTION! (Salsalito Sliced Turkey is my JAM!)

Holy TOLEDO, I just never know WHERE to start!

This coming weekend grocery stores are going to be packed to the gills all thanks to… the upcoming Man-oliday! Are you doing some sports betting this weekend?

THE SUPERBOWL

Funny Football Pose

That’s what I call a ménage à quatre

Regrettably, it’s widely known that shrimp cocktail and grilled vegetables are NOT the finger foods being passed out as we watch large, sweaty, grass-stained men tackle each other down a white-lined field.

Instead everyone tends to like to turn their fingers neon orange, dunk their dip vehicles into fatty globs of Ranch and suck down gallons of sugary, atrociously high in calorie drinks.

Dog-Eating-Cheetos

LOOK MA! NO HANDS (or should I say, paws?)

While everyone craves a little something different on the Thanksgiving of the Football season… It’s likely that when you enter the grocery store to stock up on goods this weekend, you will see large displays of these popular Superbowl munchies:

Food-Football-Field

How UNHEALTHFULLY creative

  • Chicken Wings: One teeny, tiny wing has 160 calories and 11 grams of artery stuffing fat. FLY AWAY!
  • Pizza: One thick slab of this gooey mess has between 150 and 300 calories coupled with anywhere between 6 and 20 grams of fat, depending on your toppings. Who can raise their hand and say they only eat ONE slice?
  • Lay’s Potato Chips: One oz of these greasy, crunchers sets you back 160 calories and 10 grams of fat. Uh you do know that the “family-sized” bag has 14 ounces in it…
  • Frito-Lay Cheetos: Not only are you permenantly dying your hands orange as you dig in… (Everyone will notice if you stick you head in the bag, by the way) but by eating just one measly little ounce, you’re scarfing down 150 calories and 10 grams of crappy (yes, that’s the scientific term) fat.
  • Soda: Whether your poison of choice be Coke, Pepsi, Mountain Dew or… WHATEVER, all of these drinks are far more LOADED with Sugar than… CANDY LAND! Downing just 12 ounces, which easily can happen within the 5 seconds it takes to pass a football, will have you ingesting roughly 150 calories.
  • Beer: What’s the Superbowl without… BEER! I mean, we’re all waiting for the Budweiser Frogs riding on Clydesdales ad, right?! Well, why can’t we leave the beer for the ads because this oh so “manly” beverage racks up 145 calories in a 12 oz can/bottle.

emma-watson-drinking-corona-beer

I am so ashamed of Harry… I mean his peer pressure MUST be why goody two-shoes & UNDERAGE Hermione is getting sloshed!

WHOOPS!

Did I just ruin your anticipated food coma day? Oh calm yourself… There are plenty of FAKE OUTS! (Oh snap! Is that a football term?)

  • Instead of Chicken Wings: Grill up some chicken tenders on sticks and dip them in Chimichurri sauce – talk about a TOUCH DOWN!
  • Instead of Pizza: Roasted eggplant or portobello rounds topped with a sprinkle of cheese, tomato sauce and chicken sausage – Eat that Dominos!
  • Instead of Cheetos and Potato Chips: Kale, zucchini, eggplant and/or butternut squash chips (Don’t roll your eyes! Don’t knock them until you’ve tried them!)
  • Instead of Soda: Carbonate some flavored water yourself with the Soda Stream! 
  • Instead of Beer: Sorry to be Debbie Downer BUT there really is no replacement for beer… KICK IT as hard as you hope the KICKER on the team you’re rooting for does when trying for a field goal!

Better yet, why don’t you just run around the grocery store like I do, to the point that you forget why you even went in the first place! You will certainly save yourself some calories… And even BURN SOME when you pretend you’re on a rollercoaster as you careen through the aisles!

 

 TOUCHDOWN!!!

football-funny-pic

PS: I was featured on FITBLOGGER yesterday! Check it out!

Comments

  1. HaHa! They need to make “FEAR THIS” tees for you to wear in the store. It’s only fair to warn them!

    Actually I heard that the biggest fear at Super Bowl parties this year is a severe shortage of chicken wings!!

    I want to come to your party! However, I must be at mine. It’s a tough job, but someone has to do it :-)

    • Ha Ha Ha! No no, I can’t wear one of those T-Shirts… Grocery shopping to me is like a STING operation, lol – I don’t want anyone to know I am going to cause mayhem until the loud speaker yells: Clean Up in Aisle 5! LOL!!!!!!

      What are you serving up this Sunday at your party?

      • Why do I feel that they notice you? lol!

        I’m doing something very different for this party. There is a great Italian place not too far from here, so I have menus from there and after the quests arrive earlier in the day, they are going to pick out whatever they want and I’m going to go get it from there for them.

        It’s too long a story for here, but the owner and I go way back, and he is a great guy!

        http://www.napolatanos.com/

  2. I have never understood why people think they should eat all this crappy food JUST because it’s the “Big Game.” Indulge in one or 2 small treats, but don’t kill yourself eating grease!
    Maureen recently posted..ThankfulMy Profile

    • EXACTLY!! I feel like people think since it’s a “holiday” they can once again indulge – ANY excuse to pretend calories don’t count! :(

  3. Thanks for stopping by my blog. This post is too cute. Love your photo choices. Great recommendations to make healthier choices for the Super Bowl.

  4. I like to make this dish where I wrap pork sausages in a ground beef log, then wrap it in a ladice made of bacon, bake then grill, and top it off with some velveta cheese. I like to put a little kale on top, so I can get a some greens in there. That’s healthy right?

    Happy Male Valentines Day!! (Super Bowl)

    ;-)

    • Ah ha ha! It totally is the MALE VALENTINE’S DAY! Shall I get you a BIG card in the shape of a football player and a bag of Funyons?!

  5. Now pizza…pizza I might still have ;-) Though most people don’t want my veggie laden pizza as much as they want the meaty, greasy version. So more for me. I don’t really do football period so this will be just another Sunday evening for me.
    Heather (Where’s the Beach) recently posted..Meal Prepping and I Heart PostMy Profile

    • Ha ha Ha! I love when people don’t find my food delicious – that’s fine with me, MORE FOR ME! ;) As long as you LOAD UP on the veggie toppings, and go easy on the cheese and make your pizza thin crust, I think you’ll be okay! ;)

      And yeah, this Sunday… Is really just another Sunday evening for me as well!

  6. Why did you stop rolling the video, I can’t stop laughing please do some live interviews and rip peoples grocerys apart live!! I don’t care for football but will be selling T-Shirts for the familys of the Sandy Hook Elementry School saturday, I figure like you said above people will be stuffing their face with @3$%% FYI food colorings have been directly linked with violent behavior in children, so any of you who are parents beware. I spent a whole term in school researching it, there in most everything packaged. GiGi PLEASE more improv :)

    • Aha h aha! My sister was filming, she thought I was done being an idiot, but she was MISTAKEN! LOL!!! Oh and DON’T YOU WORRY – Season TWO of GiGi Eats Celebrities is ALLLLLL about improv and acting/skits and interviews!! Prepare yourself, lol!

      Sounds like you will be having a FAR HEALTHIER Superbowl Sunday than the rest of the country!!! At least SOMEONE is smart in this world! LOL!

      PS: Totally HATE Football too… ;) So this Sunday I will purposely watch the GIRLIEST movie on the face of the planet, lol!

  7. I loved reading this Gigi! All your posts are so funny:)

  8. Thanks for your tips and your post link in the Facebook group, and also thanks for your comment. I can’t imagine eating more restrictive than Paleo, though I guess it makes sense if it’s what works for you. I think that’s what I’m learning too, that everyone has different things that work for them. As far as this post, MY GOODNESS I had NO idea about wings. That is terrible and gross and scary. I wouldn’t have even believed for one second that there were that many calories and grams of fat! That’s horrible!!
    meghan recently posted..It starts with breakfastMy Profile

    • I am sorry to be the bearer of BAD NEWS!! But at the same time, maybe I could be a blessing? Now you can be on the search for some HEALTHY chicken wing recipes! :)

  9. Entertainment at its finest always, Gigi!
    Sarah Kay Hoffman recently posted..Baked Super Bowl Chicken DrummiesMy Profile

  10. All that crappy food usually makes me feel very crappy in the long run. Mmmm butternut squash chips!
    Rebecca@Running.Food.Baby. recently posted..Hello??My Profile

  11. Haha, looks like Da Bears QB took one for the team on that play! You’s a trip Gigi.
    Brad Gouthro Fitness recently posted..How To Become A Fat Burning Machine #LLTVMy Profile

  12. I ALWAYS stop at one drink when there’s a ton of tempting food around. Two drinks and I’ll be waist-high in the nachos.
    Alex @ Brain, Body, Because recently posted..Back pain, cookies, the P-wordMy Profile

  13. This why I need a Trader Joe’s on every corner and every street in every city! Make it easy for me, people! ;)
    Kat recently posted..Sugar Rehab: Veggies are a girl’s best friendMy Profile

  14. When I’m at these parties I remind myself not to waste calories on crappy food. I’ll eat the hell out of some pizza, but it damn well better be a fabulous Italian pizza with a good char on the crust and bufala mozzarella. Life’s too short to eat crap!
    Laura @ Sprint 2 the Table recently posted..Plump My Ride + WIAWMy Profile

    • You’re lucky you can easily do that! So many people just say, “aw to hell with it” and eat the bag of Lay’s Potato Chips laying about (and when I say eat the bag, I mean the contents inside… and the bag too! LOL)

      I completely agree with you though – LIFE really is too short to eat crap!

  15. HAHAHA OMGGG WHAT DID YOU BREAK WITH THOSE CHEETOS!?!?! Next time I request to be your grocery shopping cart pushing friend. Except, I WILL buy a thing of cookies. Probably Oreo’s or something TERRIBLE..MUAHAHAH!

    • Ah ha ha ha ha ha!! I will throw the cheetos AT YOU if you buy cookies!

      Oh and I broke some weird ethnic food… I can’t even remember because we ran so fast after that, LOL!

  16. For me when it comes to the Super bowl, I know there are some traditions that I want to take part in, like my family friend’s famous buffalo chicken dip. But I also know there are some foods like wings (just not my faves) that I may like but that I don’t really want to fill up on. Plus I want to enjoy a few adult beverages! I just try to pace myself, listen to my body, and compromise. Maybe I won’t dip chips in the buffalo chicken dip for example, and dip celery in instead. That way I can still have a vehicle to get the dip from bowl to mouth :)
    Caitlin recently posted..Pete and Gerry’s Lemon Meringue TartMy Profile

    • BEAUTIFULLY said and so smart!! You can still enjoy the festivities even if you’re trying to be smart when it comes to eating! If only every grease-loving man and woman in this world could adopt your mind set!! ;)

  17. Thankfully, I’m not a fan of traditional super bowl party food. Just not my thing. However, if by some magical gift, I’m at a party where all my favorite food is, I would still be choosy. Only the good stuff please!
    Angela @ Happy Fit Mama recently posted..Eats From The Week #1 + Healthier Fudge BrownieMy Profile

    • It’s not my thing either! :) Now if someone was grilling up some salmon… I dare you to try and restrain me! LOL!! ;)

      GOOD STUFF PLEASE for sure!!

  18. I think I am going to try and make some healthier versions of SuperBowl party food that way I will have stuff to eat too. Such a great idea. Love your shopping cart videos.
    Abby @ BackAtSquareZero recently posted..Preventative MedicineMy Profile

  19. Girl you crazy! You are so silly and I LOVE IT. You go GiGi-you GO! ;) Great Super Bowl post. Nice job!
    xx Moni
    Moni Meal Fitness recently posted..Super Food Dulche De Leche Chia Seed PuddingMy Profile

  20. You are hilarious! If I were not so tired I would write more but I will tweet.. starting to fall asleep here – I know I am in CA but I have STRANGE hours! ;)
    Jody – Fit at 55 recently posted..To Eat or Not To Eat, That is the QuestionMy Profile

  21. Such great healthy alternatives! Great touchdown pass too ;-) You should go out for the team!
    Elizabeth @ My Neon Running Shoes recently posted..Running backwards and an awesomely fun night!My Profile

  22. I like your menu; we’ll be having something very similar. But my husband is really into craft beer, so I know there will be beer…
    Andrea@WellnessNotes recently posted..The Conscious Cleanse ReviewMy Profile

  23. You know whats worse then people eating junk, the people choosing COOKIES over buying a shirt to help the familys of Sandy Hook Elementary school. I spent today competing with a “group” who were selling cookies (wonder what kind) ,,,, to people most of which were aisle wide allready around the bottom, they could spent 20.00 on cookies but not 10.00 for a shirt. The best was when people asked for Vegan or diabetic cookies and they did not have any. Mabey I’m being selfish or narrow minded but really cookies.

    • LOL! Wide around the bottom, nice way of putting it ;) It truly is sad to hear this though. So many people are so uneducated in the nutrition world and it will only catch up with them later in life when it’s too late!! I am glad you were selling T-SHIRTS and didn’t give into the “norm” of selling baked goods to make a profit. Diabetic cookies is like asking for fat-free lard. GIVE ME A BREAK!

  24. Thanks for visiting my blog! Yours is amazing! I love it, so entertaining!

    Congrats on the Fitblogger feature! :-)

    We don’t really have much American Football coverage here in the UK so the Superbowl is a bit of a non-event – it looks like a bit of whirl! I don’t think we have much of an equivalent every year. I wish we had London2012 every year though! ;-)

    • Aw, thank you!! I am glad you find my blog entertaining – That’s what I strive to do after all! Ha Ha! You know… The super bowl over here is just an excuse for people to get drunk, eat nachos and spit at the TV screen, it’s really not something you should envy! LOL!!!!!

      OMG, I bet London was a mad house when the Olympics were there!! Did you go?

  25. You have some awesome replacement suggestions! I love the eggplant rounds in place of pizza. We’re going to a potluck at friends so we don’t have a lot of control, but our bringing homemade guac and carrots. :)
    Laura @ Mommy Run Fast recently posted..Weekly workouts, Chocolate Cupcakes and Menu Link upMy Profile

  26. Congrats on being mentioned on Fit Blogger! Love this post. It’s good to know that there are always healthier ways to make traditional junk foods like these. One of my friends actually made 7 layer dip with nonfat Greek yogurt instead of sour cream and you couldn’t taste the difference. Of course, it still had tons of cheese on it :D
    Cookie Dough Katzen recently posted..Favorite DishMy Profile

    • Aw thank you! :) Fit Blogger was definitely an honor!!

      I am proud of your friend for using Greek Yogurt ;) Although the cheese, yeah, not so good, but still – it’s better than using SOUR CREAM! LOL!

  27. Thanks for linking up at our Gluten Free Fridays party! I have tweeted and pinned your entry to our Gluten Free Fridays board on Pinterest! :) I love love love your humor!

    Thanks for linking back to the Gluten Free Fridays post!

    We had a ton of great looking entries for our Namaste sponsored party last week! Stop by this week to check out the winner that was randomly selected!

    Cindy from vegetarianmamma.com
    Cindy (Vegetarian Mamma) recently posted..#glutenfree review: Viviana FoodsMy Profile

    • Aw thank you so much Cindy!!! :) I love your Gluten Free Fridays PARTY!!! Who doesn’t like a party on Friday, seriously!!!! ;)

      I will be back tomorrow!! And I will link to you too!

Speak Your Mind

*

CommentLuv badge