On The Rocks

BEHOLD!

Calorie-Free Alcoholic Drink

A calorie-free alcoholic beverage to get you NICE AND SLOPPY when you’re out on the town!

The only guilt you will feel is when you wake up the following morning after the bender… To find yourself next to someone you…

Don’t… Even… Know…

Hey! At least you don’t have to go to the gym to burn off all the calories you drank last night!

Cameron Diaz Exercising and Flexing Her Guns

That’s one way to burn those calories Cam!

If you actually believe what I just wrote… Then you’re probably intoxicated right now!

Going to sticky bars, ear drum bursting clubs, or sometimes even the reality-escaping, Narnia-like place, the liquor cabinet in your house, typically results in slurping down copious amounts of calories (and sugar) that you really didn’t intend on ingesting.

Lindsay Lohan Wasted Sucking on Finger

Or did you?

But what’s 5 pm with out a little alcohol?

How can someone dance all night like a crazy chicken without liquid courage?

Who can get through a morning at work without doing a keg stand in the bathroom? (If you’re actually thinking this… You may want to seek help)

 Kim Kardashian doing a keg stand

Class, Class, Class!

It can be pretty tricky navigating through a colorful cocktail menu

Hopefully though, you can tell that a Baileys Hot Chocolate Tiramisu is just another way of saying: let me get you wasted while dumping a garbage truck full of sugar and calories into your face. 

Bailey's Hot Chocolate Tiramisu

And a Guinness Float with Coffee Ice Cream, Whipped Cream, Salty Peanuts and Chocolate Syrup can be translated to mean: sure pretend all you want that you’re seven years old again in that diner you used to frequent, but the sad truth is… yeah, I won’t go there.

Guinness Ice Cream Float with Coffee Ice Cream, Whipped Cream, Peanuts and Chocolate Syrup

So then what beverages are code for: let me get you a little tispy without stuffing your head into a bag of sugar and empty calories? 

Well water is always a good choice. 

Just kidding! Who on earth goes to a bar and orders a water on the rocks… Seriously?

Ice Cold Water

Okay, uh, why am I raising my hand? 

But honestly, if you want to take a load off without putting a load on… There are some BETTER alternatives than the Mojito you’re waving the bartender down for. 

  • Vodka Soda (Diet soda that is) 
  • Gin & (Diet) Tonic
  • White Wine Spritzer
  • Bloody Mary
  • Light Beer
  • Skinny Girl Cocktails (I am in NO WAY affiliated… But they are a little easier on your GUT than say… a Long Island Iced Tea)

Beyonce and Jay-Z Drunk in Limo

Clearly Beyonce ain’t listening…

If you want to wind up looking like slop-job [INSERT CRUNKED CELEBRITY'S NAME HERE]…  Then by all means, ignore my advice. 

However, if you want to look HOT…

Instead of looking like a bloated Lil Kim…

Lil Kim Plastic Surgery Bloated Face

When you wake up next to that unknown person the following morning, HEED MY ADVICE! 

So tell me… 

  • What’s your drink of choice?
  • What’s the craziest drunken experience that you remember?
  • Are you excited for The Hangover 3 to come out?
  • Do you have a hangover remedy you want to share?
  • Do tell your “walk of shame” stories! 
  • How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb?
  • Have you ever done a keg stand in the bathroom at work before?  
  • What’s the dumbest pick-up line you have ever heard? 

Comments

  1. I always drink vodka soda when out at a bar- and I always regret it the next day because it just goes down wayyy to easy.
    Erin @ Axell’s Kitchen recently posted..Sushi Dinner Date + Homemade Roasted Tomato SoupMy Profile

    • Ah ha ha ha ha!!! I would recommend you have a vodka soda, then have a club soda… And continue doing that, but… As we know all too well, drinking can make us do some naughty things! lol

  2. Drinking is actually one of the few vices that doesn’t have any sort of effect on me. I look at it like this: I could have a 200 calorie gin&tonic or I could have a 200 calorie cookie and, for me, the cookie ALWAYS wins. Always, always, always.

    Also, I’m married, so that probably has something to do with it. If I were single/dating, I’d probably be singin’ a different tune :P

    BUT, when I do drink, I prefer a fancy whiskey (Makers!) on the rocks. It makes me feel hella badass and is MORE than enough.
    Alex @ Brain, Body, Because recently posted..Microwave Muffin #fail, LiveFit Review 2.0My Profile

    • I would MUCH RATHER eat my calories than drink them too :) And I think settling down definitely helps when it comes to drinking too much!! People drink the sooth the awkwardness of bars and mingling!! And obviously, that can get people into TROUBLE… In more ways than ONE! ah ha ha.

      Ah ha ha ha!!! Hella Bad Ass – I like that adjective!

  3. Usually I like red wine – less sugary than white and there are some?? health benefits to it. A small glass of that with dinner can be nice.
    For going out to the clubs – I used to like rum straight up but realized how sugary it was, plus how crazy things would get due to it. I def agree the Skinny Girl cocktails or any skinny margarita options out there are great. Also there are some great gluten-free beer options that are low-cal and honestly have a better after taste than regular beer.

    And some great hangover cures are the following:
    – Pedialite!! Remember that drinking alcohol can make you pee a lot which makes you get dehydrated. Drink your Pedialyte when you get home before you go to bed. This will help your body process the electrolytes (vitamins and minerals) while re-hydrating you. Because you are sleeping and using less energy, your body gets to soak them up faster.

    – Vitamin Water’s REVIVE! I’ve had some before going to bed and the next morning, helps out so much

    – Ceviche! I know this may seem weird but my boyfriend’s family swears by this Mexican food remedy for a hangover. This or some good menudo.

    AVOID THESE as hangover cures:
    Caffeine!! I don’t know how many friends of mine have said black coffee will help. It doesn’t!! It tastes kind of nasty actually in the morning after you’ve been drinking.
    Aspirin! Alcohol already thins your blood, you don’t really need aspirin to thin it more. Try taking Alleve instead!
    Sports drinks…I will say that most of them are too sugary to help – whereas Pedialite helps rehydrate. Vitamin Water’s REVIVE is a personal exception to me though bc it has def helped.

    • Red and White wine are pretty much the same in terms of sugar content. But wine has a lot of health benefits, specifically RED WINE, so YAY for you liking the RED :)

      When you go out to clubs, you might want to stick with straight vodka if you can handle it. Or go for a vodka soda like I recommended – It’ll facilitate you to dance the FUNKY CHICKEN on the dance floor just like you rum. LOL. Have you ever tried Skinny Girl cocktails? Are they widely available at bars and clubs (wow, I am pathetic, I don’t even know this – Me + Alcohol = Dog trying to ride a bike).

      Pedialyte… My problem with this stuff is that it’s SUGAR WATER!!!!!! It’s no good – DITCH, DITCH!!!

      Vitamin Water Revive… it’s OKAY but it’s also full of sugar… Don’t drink the whole bottle – Vitamin Water is considered a sports drink :-/

      HELL YES TO CEVICHE – EAT THAT STUFF UP like NO ONE’s BUSINESS!!!! :D I think I know what it is… LIME JUICE! Lime juice is a HANG OVER CURE!! Seriously! Just suck the juice straight out of the limes!!! Or make your own juice, of course lol.

      Thanks Shar for your tips & tricks :) Do you find that a specific type of alcohol leaves you with a worse hang over?

      • Skinny Girl cocktails seem to be more of a household thing – like you buy the product, go home, make it for your own get togethers. You can def take the idea of Skinny Girl cocktails to the club though. I’m happy to see many menus at clubs and restaurants are offering “SKINNY” cocktail options – either by not adding sugar to the rim or inside the drink, sticking to vodka or forms of tequila that are lower in calories and sugar, and also adding less of the mix-ins like syrups…grenadine and all that. Basically I would follow the simple rule of…keep it simple! You want a healthy drink? Go for simple things like just vodka or vodka/tonic – not all the syrups and sugars or mix-ins.

        When it comes to Pedialyte – I’m not looking to drink it to be super healthy at the moment. Yes there is sugar. But it is one of the best hangover preventions/cures out there — the best being well not drinking…or if you do drink, drink water while drinking alcohol. For example, have a vodka tonic? Have a glass of water after it or 2 to be safe, then the next drink can be alcoholic.
        The reason Pedialyte is so good is because of the osmolarity. It has electrolytes and it prevents water from being excreted from the body. Therefore you are not expelling as much water which is what dehydration is about. Pedialyte is a for sure, pretty quick prevention or cure…

        BUT ok if we are worried about sugar – try Smart Water. It has electrolytes too! =D

        AAAAND for drinks that can really kick you to the curb the next day…I think everyone is different to an extent.
        For example – I have heard pretty much everyone say red wine gives them headaches…or tequila makes them throw up. I think it all depends on how your body takes it. For example – I cannot stand vodka. Can’t do it!!! So that is why lately I have stuck to lighter beers or red wine as my “poison” of choice…or perhaps a light-cal version of sangria.

        I also should add that there is really no truth to the rumor of mixing drinks is bad…like beer for liquor, never been sicker, liquor before beer, you’re in the clear.
        I mean if you drink a little – you’re fine. If you drink a lot – yea you will throw the hell up. It isn’t rocket science.
        I do think it does help to stick to something for the night though…only because of the mix-ins making you as sick as the mixing of alcohol. For example, going from a gin n’ tonic to a red bull n’ vodka to a margarita to a rum n’ coke…its like eating a ton of candy…@_@ blech
        Again, keep it simple!

  4. I have never woken up besides someone I didn’t recognize!

    As for KNOWING them, well that’s a different thing, lol!

    I had a very short period when I first got a job as a doctor that I tried alcohol. I would usually have vodka and club soda because it had no taste. That lasted about two weeks until I had a White Russian at a party at the Dean of the Medical School’s home. Fortunately, I can be very controlled because ideas were coming into my head that would have shortened my short career!

    I never drank again!
    Dr. J recently posted..When it Comes to Losing Weight, Do It Like a Dog!My Profile

    • Ha Ha! I am glad you learned your lesson and now lay off the sauce – I too have learned my lesson! Haven’t touched alcohol in… Oh no, I won’t say how long it’s been because I don’t need to get myself into trouble! ;)

      Must admit, I have never had a mixed drink… Other than a soda and some form of alcohol – lol.

  5. PS: I’m a guy, we have never heard a dumb pick-up line :-)
    Dr. J recently posted..When it Comes to Losing Weight, Do It Like a Dog!My Profile

    • Really? No incredibly inebriated chick has ever wandered up to you and slurred some ridiculous comments your way?

  6. Skinny margaritas and bourbon + diet coke (which will also probably kill me, but whatev) are always my drinks of choice. Pre weight loss it used to be mudslides and white chocolate martinis, and somehow I wondered WHY I was so overweight, hah!
    Ari @ Ari’s Menu recently posted..Drink & Dish: Blueberry Pancakes {with video!}My Profile

  7. Well, I spend all day drinking tons of water but I do enjoy my sweet German wine!!
    No matter where we are (party, home, bar….) if I’m drinking any sort of alcohol I’m always 2 fisting – water in one hand and drink in the other! I try to make sure and drink more water than the other!
    Grad school was all about over-indulging for me – I’ll save you all of the awful stories!!
    Kim recently posted..Real Life Feelings and EmotionsMy Profile

    • YOU’RE SO SMART! I wish every drinker would take advice from YOU in terms of FISTING WATER while drinking!! I always tell people that they can order a drink, and then order a club soda or something and then order another drink if they need it… Clearly, I don’t have to tell you that – Although maybe I should have when you were in grad school! NOW I really want to know some stories – LAY EM ON ME! ha ha.

  8. I have too many stories…which is partially why I don’t drink anymore. That and I can’t stand the idea of DRINKING my calories. That’s why I order my coffee black, and stay away from alcohol! I do like to watch other people make a shit show out of themselves though.

    • I do love stories!! Tell me a DRINKING bed time story, lol!! I have loads of stories too… And they are WHY I DON’T DRINK either – Here we go again, another similarity between you and I. lol.

      I ABHOR drinking my calories too… I would rather eat 239848397848937 pounds of squash than drink an ounce of alcohol – Okay, that many pounds of squash are not the equivalent in calories as an ounce of alcohol, BUT YOU GET IT ;)

      PS: People watching in LA… Oh god, there is no better place.

  9. Wait, isn’t a vodka soda used with just calorie-free soda water? That’s my go-to drink so if I need to change my asking ways to include diet, please help a girl out. :D But yeah, that’s my favorite. I used to love Bailey’s and all the sweet drinks but I weaned myself off all that junk. Also, I like to double fist….with water! Holla!!
    Alex @ Cookie Dough Katzen recently posted..Pizza bites and Cookie DoughMy Profile

    • Well I guess Vodka Soda could be Vodka with soda water… But you could also mix vodka with some actual soda too… And that’s obviously what I am referring to! ;) You probably know how to order at a bar over me, I don’t drink! AH HA HA!

      I have never had Baileys before… I couldn’t even tell you what it tastes like, but I imagine something like chocolate?? ah ha ha, Wow, I am pathetic. Back when I used to drink, it was CRAPTASTICAL BEER and BACARDI – RAUNCHY!

  10. Hmm,,, don’t drink have seen to many lives’ ruined because of it. Like anything if used in moderation not abused, it has it’s place for some. I have never liked the idea of being impaired or being with people who are, I know some enjoy wine and it is part of many cultures for generations, the Sicilian side of my family seemed to be wine tasting on a regular basis. Lil Kim has a weight issue going on. “Lil More Kim” I’m bad to though CAFFINE is a major issue for me. Enjoy life, good food and friends and of course follow Miss GiGi Funny pick up line I do get them now and then the last was “Hey want to take me out for a drink I’m 21 this weekend.” :) I had to dig deep for the strength to say sorry I was busy.

    • I don’t drink either – I have seen way to many people ruin their lives with alcohol as well. I love waking up in the morning and feeling clear headed and ready to take on the day! If I had it my way, this blog post would say: JUST DON’T DRINK PEOPLE – COMMON! But I know that’s not realistic to a lot of people… So yeah, I am trying to accommodate – LOL! Each to their own is what I say ;)

      Lil Kim is looking a little like a plastic blimp, don’t you think?

      AHH HA HA HA!! Ohhhh pick up lines – They’re amazing! I’ve heard a few too many cringe-worthy ones!

  11. LOVE! My favorite drink is Absolut Vodka, Soda Water with 2 Limes squeezed or sometimes if the bartender is not busy of course I have them muddle mint leaves at the bottom for a minty treat! When I am at home I add fruit to this mix for a vodka mojito type dealio! I LOVE the skinny girl cocktails as well, they are REALLY good and fun to bring over to peoples houses! Sending you LOTS of LOVE! Love + Shine CourtStar
    Court Star @ StarSystemz recently posted..LoveMy Profile

  12. I did a cleanse recently and luckily it helped me kick my caffiene and liquor happy hour drinks! But, did I have the worst caffeine headachea ever!

  13. A non-drinker here for a variety of reasons. :)

    Even so, I don’t drink my calories. Water, green tea, black tea, and black coffee for me. I’m like one of your other readers – I’d rather have save my calories for a special dessert on occasion than drink them!
    Diane 150 Pounds Gone Forever recently posted..Are You Guilty of Using Justification?My Profile

    • I definitely DONT drink for many reasons as well! I would much rather go your route and have the teas, water or carbonated water :) I love to EAT my calories, not drink em! Unfortunately a majority of people like to do BOTH.

  14. I don’t speak of my drunken, young, debauchery lol! and now I drink beer…never liked it before till in my 30s. weird. word.
    Kat recently posted..#OnAQuest for clean eats!My Profile

    • Ha Ha!! Beer was totally my drink of choice back in the day… Now I cannot even look in its direction without gagging. lol

  15. Thankfully it’s been a long time since I did the walk of shame. And these days it doesn’t take too much to put me over the edge, so that cuts down on the calories :-)
    Carrie @ FamilyFitnessFood.com recently posted..What I Ate WednesdayMy Profile

  16. i cannot wait for hangover 3!! vodka is my crazy drink of choice and wine is my more subtle one haha
    Linz @ Itz Linz recently posted..Nashville EatsMy Profile

  17. Love this post! I LOVE frozen drinks but I know they have a lot of calories! Luckily I don’t drink that often so I can splurge on occasion. I also like Mike’s, they go down REALLY easy!
    Betsy recently posted..Wordy Wednesday #5My Profile

    • Ha Ha! Oh frozen drinks, those will get ya!!! ;) A splurge once in awhile won’t kill you though, you’re right! I remember when I was little I LOVED Pina Coladas… Okay, they were VIRGIN but still, LOVED EM! – Thank you sugar! lol

  18. What a great post! My choice of alcoholic beverage would have to be coconut rum & pineapple.. ridiculously good & always refreshing. The only problem is they go down so smoothly so stopping at one, or two is hard! Ha Ha!
    Jessie recently posted..2 separate reviews & a giveawayMy Profile

    • Ah ha ha! So true. I feel like these days straight alcohol is starting to taste WAY TOO GOOD, which means… “Whoops… Did I do that?” lol

  19. I haven’t tried Skinny Girl drinks. Are they any good? Do they still have the same alcohol content? Then again, I can’t exactly drink right now anyway, so I shouldn’t get my hopes up for them. haha
    Tiff @ Love, Sweat, & Beers recently posted..Workouts & Why I’m Not RunningMy Profile

    • I’ve heard they are really good actually and they are a better option – give em’ a try! :) I have also seen a lot of mixers that are low or no calorie that sound pretty good… SO every once in awhile, MAYBE…….

      And you’re right, definitely wait a few more months until you have a drink again! ;)

  20. I freaking LOVE tequila, fresh squeezed lime, and a little seltzer. If I’m really feeling feisty I’ll add a tiiiny splash of some simple syrup.

    Oh, and I like a good beer. Oh, and wine. Oh, and yeah, maybe I’ve got a problem… :( haha
    Presley @ Run Pretty recently posted..Removing the Doubt: Under Armour #WhatsBeautiful CampaignMy Profile

    • AHHHH HA HA HA!!! The first way to identify a problem is admitting that you have one? Just kidding. I am sure you are JUST FINE. However, try to tone down the feisty so as to stay clear of the simple syrup! lol

  21. Even though I don’t drink, I think the Breath Carolina “Blackout” video is very cool. The beginning is epic :)

    • I am so bad with music, I don’t know ANY names… I am currently listening to this song & I have heard it before! I LOVE IT… In the car… When stuck in TRAFFIC ;)

  22. If I’m gonna draaaaank I’m going that have what I like: red wine or a manhattan or scotch. I drink like a man and I’m damn proud of it! Unnles it’s the next day and I have a hangover… which (thank god) doesn’t happen as often as it used to.
    Laura @ Sprint 2 the Table recently posted..Strange But Good: Chocolate Avocado CookiesMy Profile

  23. I am definitely the person who orders water on the rocks with a lemon wedge at the bar :)
    Kierston @candyfit recently posted..#RECIPEFRIDAY: Recipes I Plan On Making!My Profile

  24. I’m a wine girl – but I always order water as a chaser ;-)
    Heather (Where’s the Beach) recently posted..Fun for Friday – Name PositivityMy Profile

  25. I’m a wine girl but a good beer can be great too! I love your posts. The classy, classy picture is Klassi ;)
    renee recently posted..Bestowed and a Giveaway!My Profile

    • Ha Ha, thanks Renee! Beer is def a nice crisp refresher on a warm evening when grilling up some delicious grub! Oh summer! :D

      And Kim is ALWAYS CLASSY – Not sure why I even had to point that out! ;)

  26. Your posts are hilarious! A perfect way to get some calories burned laughing in the morning. TY! ;)
    Lawrence recently posted..Daily Challenge – TGIF FrenzyMy Profile

  27. I’m a white wine girl. Tried red, gives me headaches (not from the hangover)

    I have had bad experiences from Margaritas (and not from the high sugar and calorie content). I now avoid them at all costs (again, not because of the high sugar and calorie content).

    I so rarely have a cocktail that when I do I don’t worry about calories. Bring on the Pina Coladas and the Cosmos (yah, old school).
    Debbie @ live from La Quinta recently posted..It’s Fast. It’s Furious. It’s a Total Body, No Equipment, Functional WorkoutMy Profile

    • I know a lot of people who get headaches from red wine. I think it’s the Tannins in the wine that do it to people.

      Mmm, Pina Coladas – definitely AMAZING! ;)

  28. I am a red wine girl myself but on the slim occasion that I find myself at a club, I’ll go for a vodka soda with a splash of pineapple. That one splash surprisingly packs a lot of flavor without a ton of calories from a straight vodka/juice drink. But I usually avoid clubs. As my Dad always says, nothing good happens after midnight. Haha.
    Whitney @ To Live & Diet in L.A. recently posted..TGIF: Stevie, Gatsby, & SushiMy Profile

    • OMG I love your dad and agree with him 110% – Ah ha ha! Goes to show how big of a PARTY ANIMAL I am! When pigs fly is when I will be out until 4am that’s for sure.

      Ooo! I like the Vodka Soda with Pineapple idea, I can image the pineapple making vodka palatable! ah ha ha!

  29. Hi Gigi!

    That’s an interesting post!

    Since I started exercising regularly and eating clean, my alcohol intake has diminished. However, I still like a glass of good wine to accompany good food… but it has become very occasional. I like the smell, the taste, and I won’t lie, I love the feeling too.

    I don’t know if I want to write about my craziest drunken experience on the net! LOL

    Although I’ve never woken up next to a stranger!

    My hangover remedy is to drink tons of water before, during and after.

    The dumbest pick-up line a guy told me was, as I was coming out of the water (swimming pool party), staring at my chest: “Oh, are you cold?”

    Pfff…

    • OMG seriously – ARE YOU COLD?!?! That’s the dumbest pick up line ever, although if he said after that, would you like my jacket, then maybe THAT would have been the stupidest line… However, I doubt he would want to give you his coat – He wants to see your head lights! Ah ha ha ;)

  30. Is it wrong of me to think that wine spritzers need to be brought back in style?! WHAT is so wrong with like a few bubbles in your wine? Nothing in my book!

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  32. Not sure how I just found your blog! Love it! I drink Ketel One on the rocks. It makes me a cheap date. Three of those bad boys and I’m housed. And then I just shake my booty for the next few hours, go home, sit down to shower, and hit the bed! I never wake up hungover! Wahoooo!

    • I am thrilled that you found it!!!! :) I love meeting new people. You and I are both cheap dates because I don’t even drink ;)

      Dancing is a GREAT WAY to kick the hang over to the curb! I think you have the whole night out thing down to a science!! I don’t expect you to wear a science lab coat to a bar though…….. Unless you really want to! lol

  33. Vodka straight, IF I even drink. But I don’t anymore, since graudating college, I am that girl that orders a water at the bar, but no ice, cause I’m always cold ;)
    Amber Vesey recently posted..“Cheese” DipMy Profile

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