Those BuzzFeed quizzes…
Lure you in faster than Snow White’s wicked step mother lures her in to eat that poisoned apple.
How cool are you?
- Do you even have to ask?
- Would you like to binge eat me? I am a Trefoils!
Should you move to Australia?
- Apparently I should just hop over for a little visit!
But don’t you want to discuss WHAT FOOD-BORNE ILLNESS ARE YOU?
Read the following scenario:
After spending hours slaving over a feast that even Gordan Ramsey would sneak into the kitchen and munch on as a midnight snack, you start plating the delectable meal, only to **WHOOPS** drop a majority of the mouthwatering food all over the floor, that, you must admit, has not been cleaned in over three weeks.
Now select the answer that best describes you:
A. You look both ways as if you were about to steal a pack of hazmat suits from the super market, and quickly pick the food up off the floor, blow on it and put it back on the plates. Then you remind yourself that “if a tree falls in the woods, and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound – NOPE!” Same principal applies to food.
B. Immediately start to cry and collapse on the floor, at a complete loss for words. You then channel Fido and lap the mess up off the floor with your tongue. “If the dog can do it without getting sick, why can’t I?,” you contemplate.
C. $%^*&!@#$%*!!!! So loudly that your neighbors call 911. Prior to the police showing up at your house, you begin the most epic of all food fights with yourself and take a few bites of the succulent food you $%^*ed up, as you sling it around.
D. Call your dogs and/or cats into the kitchen, hey, they deserve a treat right, and then proceed to pick up the phone and call Domino’s. Two medium sized pizzas with all the fixings, PLEASE! You only hope your kids and significant other don’t come home before you can get rid of the evidence. After all, they still think you aced your final exam at culinary school by making the world’s most delicious hand-crafted deep-dish pizza.
E. Grab a fork and dig in. All the plates are in the dish washer, that hasn’t been run in two weeks, anyways.
Now… Before revealing your Food-Borne Illness Identity, check out whether or not the 5-Second Rule is actually a myth or reality!
If you related most to…
A. Then you are E. coli: You tend to be serious and have a hard time loosening up, however, on the rare occasion when you do, you rival salmonella (see below).
B. Then you are Salmonella: You loving socializing and being the center of attention and you have no problem fighting for this reputation.
C. Then you are Listeria: You’re a rather independent and quiet individual but when you want to make your presence known, you do not hold back.
D. Then you are Norovirus: You are a people pleaser, which causes you to stress out easily.
E. Then you are Staph Bacteria: You dance to the beat of your own drum and don’t like to play by the rules.
So tell me…
- What food borne illness are YOU!? Does your personality ACTUALLY match the description?
- Tell me your biggest FOOD FAIL!
- What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever put in your mouth?
- Have you ever had the paparazzi run after you?
- What happens to you when you get HANGRY?
- What were your answers to the BuzzFeed QUIZZES above?
- If a tree falls in the forest, and no one hears it, does it make a sound?