Food Foolery!

I’ve been keeping a secret from all of all of you.

Top Secret Information

I don’t typically share much about my personal life, but I just had to get it off my chest. Perhaps it will help with “closure”.

I had been dating a public figure for the past nine months.

Key word: HAD.

Unfortunately, our relationship recently fizzled. He turned out to be the BIGGEST TOOL in the box!

Zac Efron and GiGi Dubois

In order to sooth the “pain” of my severed relationship, the Food Pervert thought it would be best to drown my sorrows in… What else, FOOD! She is pretty perverted in that department after all.

Fluffy carbohydrates and silky smooth fat are utter perfection when it comes to cheering up those “down in the dumps” feelings, right?

Sad GiGi about to eat

That’s why Tara and I decided to make bagels and cream cheese… From scratch!

Meat Bagels with Tara and GiGi

To hell with all my intolerances and allergies, I am sinking my teeth into sadness slaying refined carbohydrates!

APRILS FOOLS!!!

  1. I wasn’t dating a public figure, hell I haven’t been in a relationship in: Okay, I’ll keep that one a secret – Ha Ha!
  2. Drowning your sorrows with food is NOT a healthy way to get over an ex.
  3. We didn’t actually make bagels and cream cheese… Check out the latest video for what we ACTUALLY MADE!

Holy (MEAT) BagelsBatman!! HA! See what I did there??

So how can YOU recreate these mirror images of the real deal? Below is what you need!

Meat Bagel with Parsnip Cauliflower Puree - Bagel and Cream Cheese look alike!For the “Bagel”:

For the “Cream Cheese”:

To Make…

1. Mix the meat, cilantro, egg whites, garlic, paprika and pepper together.

2. Mold into a bagel pan and bake in oven set at 380 degrees for 20 minutes.

3. When meat cooks, steam cauliflower and parsnips (6 minutes). Then blend with chicken broth until smooth.

4. When meat it done, let cool for a minute, then smear the cauliflower and parsnip puree on one “side” and top with the other meat bagel half!

5. You can get pervy too and add extras like bacon, avocado and tomatoes!

SO TELL ME…

  • What kind of bagel do you do back flips for?
  • Do you think Zac Efron and I would make a cute couple?
  • Who do you think the biggest TOOL in Hollywood is?
  • Have you ever had a parsnip before? I never had one prior to this creation!
  • When you’re feeling a little dejected, how do you cheer yourself up?
  • Would you eat at Tara and my Meat Bagel shop? What kind of bagel would you order?

Meat Bagel, upclose and personal! Linked Up To: Healthy, Happy, Green & Natural Party; Fit Tip Tuesday ; Waste Not, Want Not Wednesday; #StrangeButGood;

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    • AH ha ha ha ha!!! Why THANK YOU Amy ;) Now let me get in contact with his publicist and make this happen, lol! While I do that, I’ll eat a bagel! ha ha!

    • DUDE EVERYTHING Bagels are the BOMB! I would sooooo make them with meat ;)

      And I wish it weren’t April Fools right now, LOL! However, that would mean I would be grieving over breaking up with Mr. Efron, but instead I would still like to be linked up! lol.

    • Why thank you Rachel……… I am working on it, ha ha ha aha h ha h! ;) Gotta call my publicist today and see what we can work out – LOL! Because lets be real, relationships in Hollywood are all arranged! ;)

  1. LOOOOOVE how you all play with your food! This is such a creative and tasty-lookin’ idea for a bagel!
    I’m all about my lox and cream cheese bagels so heck…why not have a meat bagel with salmon on the inside. =D!

    • DUDE YESSSSS! Lox on this turkey bagel…. AW MAN! I think I want to make it for lunch! I LOVE MY BAGEL BAKING PAN!! Come back to LA so we can play with our food together!! ;)

      Did that sound dirty??

    • Ha Ha! I laughed so hard at my epic Zac Efron photo creation!!!! IF ONLY it were real… But hey, if I set my mind to it, I can accomplish ANYTHING, right???

    • Oh you and me both!! Lets get in line, ha ha! I’ll bring the meat bagels because we might be in line for a long time, waiting for our turns! ;)

  2. Love your April fool joke. I don’t do back flips for bagels since I probably end up in the hospital trying HA! and I never eat gluten or very few grains. Don’t know much about Zac Efron or pay attention to Hollywood Stars. I have eaten parsnips before but it been a long time and I use music to help me when I feel rejected. Great recipes. Visiting from Healthy Happy Green & Natural Blog Hop!
    Marla recently posted..“Healthy Living For A Healthy Back And Body!”My Profile

    • Ah ha! Oh I would def end up in the hospital as well, and bagels are just not worth it to me! LOL! However, these meat bagels might be!!!! ;)

      Thank you for visiting, off to check out your blog now!

    • :D YAY!! I am glad you’re excited about this recipe, or perhaps my break up with Zac? LOL! I cannot wait for you to try this recipe – YOU MUST! And you must report back on how you like them!

  3. I love this idea – reminds me of home..NJ/NY which is bagel central. Of course as a protein/veggie girl, I like your idea a LOT better.
    I kinda thought you might be too good for Zac Efron? I do like him, though! Confession time: I used to watch “Summerland” and he was just a kid in that! A nerdy kid too!
    Tamara recently posted..Science Fiction Double Feature.My Profile

    • Dude OOOOOOOO! So I used to live in CT. We would get these HUGE brown paper bags filled with bagels. I don’t even know where they came from, but man… My mouth did some DAMAGE!! ha ha!

      Summerland huh? Maybe I should check it out – however, I’d rather see Zac all manly and delicious than nerdy, hah ah!

    • I had never tried parsnip before in my life before mixing it with cauliflower – it’s legit delicious! It tastes a lot like a carrot! And smells like one too!

  4. Pingback: PRIMAL "Bagels" with "Cream Cheese"! | Mark's Daily Apple Health and Fitness Forum page

  5. Oh this is FANTASTIC… And totally fits my personal way of eating (gluten, grain, and dairy-free)!!! I’m sharing this on my FemFusion FB page right now — a great little LOL for April Fool’s Day.

    This morning we did the frozen cereal trick for my son… Stuck his bowl of cereal in the freezer and saw what happened as he tried to take a bite. ;)

    Love April 1st. ;)
    Brianne recently posted..How to Detox SAFELY: Ask Us Anything!My Profile

    • YAY!!!!!!!! I AM SO EXCITED that you like the idea!!!!! :) I cannot wait until you try them and let me know what you think! You better.

      And OMG what did your son say??!?!?!?! That’s too funny! It’s too bad that April 1 is only one day of the year… Or is it? lol.

  6. Your “click here for step by step instructions” isn’t linked to anything – I feel jipped! :P Jk it looks like a serious bagel wtf lol I must be trippin’ – and still no sugar say whaa.. well, except for this smoked chicken they snuck it into the ingredients list for shame.. It was still good ;) The mornings are the worst no matter what but baby steps. :) Happy Tuesday and you can do better than Zac Efron he looks like a dork :P -Iva
    AwesomelyOZ recently posted..What It Feels LikeMy Profile

    • Ah ha ha! Thanks for catching that – I FIXED IT ;) It was part of the April Fool’s JOKE – I swear! LOL!

      I am so pumped that you’re still on the NO SUGAR!!! Did you try the butternut squash?! You gotta try a meat bagel soon… Oh shit, I am so going to meat bagel it but mix it with butternut squash puree! That sound like a Thanksgiving Meat Bagel… GAH! My head is going to explode from the awesome ideas I have! LOL!

      And Zac may look like a dork, but in the sack, the only dork there is his huge…. Exactly! (Dork = Whale’s Penis) LOL! – JUST IN CASE you didn’t know!
      GiGi recently posted..Asparagus: Aroused By SpringMy Profile

    • I haven’t had parsnips alone, but when I mixed them with cauliflower and chicken broth and the herbs and spices included in my recipe – BOOM, it was delicious! I ate the whole bowl of puree after Tara left, LOL!!! Blueberry bagels? I COMPLETELY forgot about those, I feel like they could be considered muffin bagels! LOL!
      GiGi recently posted..Not So Naughty, Frosted Mini Shepherd’s PiesMy Profile

  7. Meat bagels sound awful, but the LOOK wonderful!! I am all over that puree though, that’s my kinda cream cheese!! YUMMMMMM I WANNT get creamy all over my body. I think you said “I think” one too many times…I think…
    Brittany recently posted..Jumbled MindMy Profile

  8. I was sure you were his secret girlfriend, until I read on TMZ that his secret GF was bad for him, and I KNOW that YOU would not be bad for any lucky guy!!

    My parents owned a bagel shop for a few years! My mom did radio commercials for it (The Bagel Place), and my dad the doctor worked the board and made sandwiches on weekends! He could really slice it thin, lol!!

    That bagel you two made is an art piece!

    There is no rejection or dejection that the perfection of Baskin Robbins can’t fix!

    I think a younger version of Johnny Depp would be a better fit for you.
    Dr. J recently posted..Blast That Belly Fat!!My Profile

    • I would be such a good influence on Zac. I mean he struggles with drug/alcohol addiction and the only drug I am addicted to is EXERCISE and if salmon is considered a drug, then that too! LOL!!!!

      OKAY – Dr. J, I am going to keep on saying this until it’s published but WHERE IS YOUR BOOK!?!?!? LOL! You seriously need to compile ALL of your stories, NOW! A Bagel shop??? I bet you can still smell the deliciousness!

      And hmmmmmm I should keep my eyes open to a younger J. Depp! Too bad he prob won’t be straight. LOL!
      GiGi recently posted..Saint Patrick’s Day: Rolling Up a Specialty My Profile

    • Ah ha ha aha h! You would have for SURE clicked out of my blog if this was a Meat Cookie – LOL!!!! Perhaps that will be my NEXT creation! ;)

      And thank you for the man compliment – Ugh, if only…… My dream man would come into my life soon!

  9. Wow you had me there for a minute, I think you and Joe Manganiello would have a blast together. I need sesame bagels once in a while or I will feel lost. “GT ” sandwich shop would be a great way to introduce the meat bagel to the world. The possibilities are endless with this so I hope to see more. I like parsnips in soup but this is would give the Cauliflower a little zip. I like to look at photo’s from the Hubble Space Telescope, it makes everything seem so small. I would order the Perverted Sirloin bagel with asiago cheese and bacon bit’s toped with sliced avocado and jalapeno.

    • Oh GT Bagel Shop is so in the works! We couldn’t be more excited. I already have the menu written up! ha ha ah! Now I need to find some high quality meat suppliers! And your perverted sirloin bagel is most certainly on the menu, what would you like to call it?! We can name it after you!!

      I actually met Joe before – he’s quite the catch ;) If only we could cross paths again!
      GiGi recently posted..Quiz: What Food-borne Illness Are You?My Profile

  10. Lol love it!! I can’t remember the last time I had a bagel and cream cheese. Hmm. These meat ones look fab!!
    Wonder how I could recreate a bread and dairy version though, now you’ve got me thinking! I don’t eat gluten and dairy=icky for my tummy so HMM. You’ve got my wheels turning!!
    (PS I am lucky today… no one has yet to pull a prank on me. Knock on wood!)
    Natalie Wester at Clean Eating Teen recently posted..NuNaturals Giveaway WINNERS!My Profile

    • Me neither! Oh my, racking my brain, it really had been like 15 years since I ate a bagel, so weird – and clearly showing my age right now LOL!!!!!

      And yes! RE-CREATE IT! I challenge you to a bagel making competition! I showed you my bagel creation, now you show me yours! LOL!

      And the day is almost over – any pranks pulled?
      GiGi recently posted..Saint Patrick’s Day: Rolling Up a Specialty My Profile

    • OMG serve him up one of these and HOPEFULLY HE CAN LIVE WITH THE REPLACEMENT – I mean… Men love MEAT don’t they!? COMMON NOW ;) And yes, bagel shops will be offended but that’s a small price to pay!! ha ha.

  11. I never know where your posts are going to lead….well….I know that it will be about food but it’s still a surprise. I tried parsnips for the first time a few months ago and was underwhelmed. Maybe I’ll try out this recipe and see if it changes my mind.

    • I need to get my hands on Mr. Efron, ASAP – I think I will send him this picture and tell him, HEY DON’T WE LOOK LIKE A HOT COUPLE – And then he would probably call me a stalker and have the cops banging down my door, LOL!!!!! But then I will feed them meat bagels and they will ditch their donuts and lose 20 pounds, LOL!

      Hope you love this recipe, I am drooling just thinking about it :)
      GiGi recently posted..The Skinny Ain’t So Confidential AnymoreMy Profile

    • Ah ha ha ah! Do you have a good vegan bagel brand?? Do you happen to know a good vegan and gluten-free brand? My brother cannot eat eggs or dairy and cannot have gluten either – So your advice would be greatly appreciated Debbie! :)
      GiGi recently posted..Food Foolery! My Profile

  12. Come on now, GiGi, time to step up your celebrity dating game! And by step up I mean: get yourself a -real- guy who doesn’t get ID’ed any time he wants to buy you a drink.
    Wait, you did never try parsnips before this time???
    Girl, we need to meet up to cook – and find some hot VIPs to date. You know Adam Levine’s mine but I’m sure we can find a suitable match for you, too.
    Oh, and here’s another parsnip idea: http://letsgetupandlive.wordpress.com/2013/12/27/pastinake-not-pasta-parsnip-lasagna/
    Miss Polkadot recently posted..If it’s between me and you…My Profile

  13. That might be the most creative “bagel and cream cheese” take I’ve ever seen… very intriguing! I love bagels- especially everything bagels, but with butter not cream cheese. My comfort food is usually a bowl of (sugary) cereal. I think it reminds me of simpler times/childhood, plus it’s basically dessert.

    PS you can do better than Zac Efron. And I agree with above comment that John Mayer is the biggest tool in Hollywood.
    Dietitian Jess recently posted..Garbanzo Bean BBQMy Profile

    • OOOOOOO don’t even get me started with melted butter on a toasted bagel. AW MAN, look at what you’ve done! LOL!!!! So much tastier than Zac will ever be! ;)

      • I made meatza bagels, so a play on pizza bagels. I don’t have one of those donut pans so I just formed them into that shape. I’ve been wanting one of those pans though, so I think I gonna get one this week. Oh, and I’m gonna make some everything meat bagels because that’s where it’s at :)
        Feed The Clan recently posted..Sunday Grocery HaulMy Profile

  14. I totally believed you on the dating thing haha. Also, I have never ever seen meat bagels and I know what you mean about cutting the real ones out years ago, so this definitely seems like a healthy switch. LOVE the video too and that there is a little bagel pan like that.

    xoDale
    Dale Janee @SavvySpice recently posted..A Pastel Pick-Me-UpMy Profile

    • Oh it definitely tricks your mind!!! I seriously thought I was eating an Edison bagel or whatever that bagel fast food place is called, lol! And you can really season them bagel style – poppy seeds, sesame seeds, onions, the options are endless! :)

    • YES!!!!! Serve these babies up – They are sure to be mouth-pleasing :) And you can make so many different variations!!!! :) And yay, thanks for stopping by – I am off to visit your site!

  15. Wow, I am making these bagels! I know people claim that all the time, but I AM!! lol. Will tweet pics when I do.
    I love this recipe, GiGi, and I’m a big fan of ground turkey. Parsnips are something I just started eating a few years ago and love them roasted so I’m sure I’ll love them in a puree.
    Love your April Fool’s joke and your new look! – gorgeousness!!
    Great post as always :)
    Robyn @ simply fresh dinners recently posted..Tuesday’s TidbitsMy Profile

    • AH ha ha ha aha ha aha ha haa! Maybe I should look into getting an Advertisement Border on my blog!! And I cannot wait until you tweet me a pic of your creation! :)

    • I have a thing for Zac and don’t like Yoga, I keep striking out with you! LOL!!!! These bagels should really help though!!

  16. I’m a jew which means I would be shunning god if I ate anything besides a big old fluffy, bready bagel. But since I experience all 12 plagues (Are there 12 plagues? Fuck worse jew ever) when I eat bread I refrain from anything with a circle in the middle. I’ll let your sick mind interpret that.

    Currently I am listening to you tell me about probiotics. It’s drowning out the horrendous hammering happening above my head.
    Davida @ The Healthy Maven recently posted..Balsamic Chicken Salad w/ Figs, Portobellos and Candied PecansMy Profile

    • Ah a ha! It’s okay, Zac is noooooo Oscar winner ;) Ah ha ha!

      And you truly just motivated me to look into opening my meaty shop!

  17. Haha, the pic of you two was funny! And that “bagel with cream cheese” looks and sounds so good! Thanks for joining in the Healthy Tuesday hop each week!

    • Linda, I am so thrilled you’re drawn to my writing!!! I am glad you have come to visit and I cannot wait for your return!! I post every Tuesday – and SOMETIMES (when there is a BLUE MOON) other days! ;)
      GiGi recently posted..Food Foolery! My Profile

    • Ah ha ha ha ha! This post sort of works all month long – ;) Because I mean, you can fool any day in April!

      Oh and… I certainly have stories to tell when it comes to dating, LOL – celebs are not all what they seem ;)

  18. Hi GiGi,
    I can see that these bagel sandwiches were a real fan favorite! I have never seen or used a bagel pan! Wow, that is so neat! Every kitchen should contain one because you never know when you are going to need to craft some major “soothing” junk food to cure what ails you! Thank you for partying with us at the Healthy, Happy, Green and Natural Party!
    Deborah Davis recently posted..Live it Up at the Healthy, Happy, Green & Natural Party Blog Hop #20My Profile

    • Exactly!!! I got this bagel pan at Bed, Bath & Beyond for $9!!! Get yourself one STAT – the ideas you will come up with will OVERFLOWWW out of your ears, lol!

  19. Great meat bagel. I thought you were serious there for a minute about drowning your sorrows in food. I was going to offer a side or two of bacon with your homemade bagels and cream cheese. Because everything is better with bacon. :) Thanks so much for sharing it with us at the Let’s Get Real Friday Link Party. I hope you’ll bring more of your recipes to the party this week.
    Nicky recently posted..Clean Eating Meal Plan Week 9My Profile

    • Ah h ah haha! The food pervert would have accepted that bacon with OPEN ARMS ;)

      I appreciate your concern, lol! And I hope if you make these, you enjoy them as much as Tara and I!!!

    • You’re very welcome! I Always look forward to your link up parties too because there so much great content, and you blog, is BRIMMING with amazingness as well :)

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