Bodacious Body Types!


An apple, celery and a pear

An apple, a stalk of celery and a pear walk into a gym class

Kesha, Gwyneth Paltrow and Nicki Minaj

Nicki and I work out in the same kicks!

The apple turns to the celery and says, “you’re such a stalker”

The pear yells over to the apple…

Nicki Minaj ANGRY!

“Don’t have a pest…icide!!!”

Okay, honestly, I have no idea where I am going with this.

GiGi is Confused

Kind of like a bulk of the stories I tell…

I was trying to be all clever and come up with some cutesy way of introducing today’s blog topic….

Obviously I FAIL!

Can you guess what I am trying to get at?

Okay, before the curiosity kills you, today, I’m talking BODY TYPES!

Creepy Fruits and Vegetables

Don’t show this picture to your children… They’ll never want to eat produce! FACKING CREEPY!

Obviously we were all built differently, I am clearly NOT Michael Jordan people, but did you know that even though body types vary so much, they can be classified into just three groups?

It’s MORPHIN’ time! 

Ectomorph/ Celery

Gwyneth Paltrow

An ectomorph is the type of person you want to smack up-side the head because they can shovel in 20 Ding Dongs and then move on to the cinnamon buns without gaining weight. This body type has a fast metabolism and needs a lot of calories in order to gain weight. Usually ectomorph’s have long thin limbs with stringy muscles, think Posh Spice. This body type benefits from short and intense workouts focusing on big muscle groups.

Damn supermodels.

 

 

Mesomorph/Apple

Kesha

 

A mesomorph is the type of person you don’t want to mess with. A meso has a large bone structure, large muscles and a naturally athletic physique (that is, if they work out). Mesomorphs are the best body type for bodybuilding. Could you see Kesha doing dead lifts? They find it quite easy to gain and lose weight. They are naturally strong which is the perfect platform for building muscle. Mesomorphs do need to watch what and how much they eat though (No cinnamon buns for you! Although, ectomorphs really should strive to eat healthy foods too) for they tend to gain weight far easier than Ectomorphs.

Za Arnold. (Pronounce Arnold – Aw-NAUD).

 

Endomorph/Pear

Nicki Minaj has a huge ass!

 

An endomorph body type is solid and generally soft. Who’s envisioning the Pillsbury Dough Boy? These body types gain fat very easily. Endo’s are usually of a shorter build with thick arms and legs… Melissa McCarthy is an example, she can definitely open a can of WHOOP-ASS on ANYONE! Muscles are strong, especially the upper legs. A healthy diet coupled with cardiovascular exercise is key in keeping Endomorphs trim and slim.

Snoop Dogg (whoa, no… Lion, excuse my mistake) loves these ladies… Drop it like it’s hot… Drop it like it’s hot!

 

So when you look in the mirror do you see a shiny apple, a stalk of celery, a wobbly pear, or an overflowing banana split?

Banana Split Ice Cream Sundae

That is one flexible banana!

Not going to lie, when I check myself out in the mirror… I see one SEXY pickle!

I just want to take a bite of myself…

Oh and Angelina Jolie… Sees KALE – but we already knew that! 

Angelina Jolie Pointing a Gun

Take that back NOW GiGi!

Why should we care about what body type we are?

Well in order to live our healthiest lives, it’s a good idea to figure out which fruit or vegetables you look like.

Cute Cat Looking In Mirror, Sees Lion

You sexy beast, you!

That way you can customize your lifestyle around to the appropriate exercises and the foods you should be eating in order to achieve your fittest self ever!

I mean, we are a lot like vegetables and fruits in that they pair well with some things, but not everything!

I having an INKLING that ketchup would NOT taste all that good with pineapple.

So tell me…

  • What body type category do you fall under?
  • Do you have any weird food combinations you love?
  • How do you stay fit and healthy?
  • Do you think Angie looks like KALE?
  • Does pickles dipped in ice cream sound good to you?
  • If you saw Nicki Minaj would you try to bounce a quarter off her ass?
  • Did any of you ever watch the Power Rangers? (Fun Fact: I auditioned to be the pink one in the latest installment – yep, the show still exists!)
  • Who would win in a fight: Nicki Minaj or Angelina Jolie? 

Comments

  1. I honestly don’t know what body type I fit into! :(

    I’m naturally skinny.. but skinny fat. So like my upper half is celery, but lower is a pear. Maybe. no idea. I need a professional opinion. lol.

    And the Pink Ranger was always my favorite.

    • It sounds like you are a pear. If you gain weight easier in your thighs and legs then you’re definitely a pear.

      Pears are delicious though 😉 And there have been studies done that say that this body type has a less chance of having heart disease because they have less visceral fat around their internal organs!

  2. Angie has become my hero :) I think I’m a bottle of soy sauce. yep.

    • Ahhh ha ha ha ha! I freaking LOT bottles of soy sauce, so if we ever meet, fear that I might lick you. Ahhhhh ha ha ha!

  3. Ahhhh as per usual I don’t fit any of those body types! I think I’m weird o.O lol

  4. Who came up with that “Apple a day keeps the doctor away” stuff anyway??

    I’m a lean, clean, celery eating machine, lol!

    I was at a car show last weekend and there was someone there shaped like Nicki! Yikes!!

    Pickles dipped in ice cream sounds like time to see your OB.

  5. I like to think I am an apple..or maybe a piece of bread..oh that’s not a veggie never mind. Nikki scares me..so does her ass..I would probably get sucked into it so I would stay away! I RUN AND I SPIN A LOTTTTT! AND I GO TO YOGA TO keep my apple like figure! I think Oreo’s and ice cream sounds way better than pickles, but who knows..I LOVE salty sweet.

    • I AM AN APPLE TOO!! A Fuji apple to be exact. I am that tasty! Ah ha ha.

      I saw Nicki’s Ass up close and personal a few weeks ago……. It attacked me but I was able to swat it away with my Venus Fly Swatter!!!

  6. This is hilarious. I think animated fruit are definitely scary to kids except those veggie tales maybe, but I’m jewish so I never watched those. I’m a pear, but not really an endomorph. I learned about this in one of my nutrition classes and these things are completely different. One is just the way your body is actually shaped, so a pear has hips and small waist. An endomorph is completely large and stocky. Those represent the type of body in regards to diet and exercise. Anyways I like this post a lot. You are hilarious.

    • Yeah, I agree with you, that pear/apple/celery is a bit different from the morph body types… But I was trying to generalize for people 😉 And you cannot say that Nicki ain’t an Endomorph! lol!

      And thank you! :)

  7. There really is just 3 main body types? I didn’t know that. I think I’m an apple but maybe a pickle! 😉

    • Ah ha! Yeah, these are the 3 main body types yet I am starting to think that they are far too general. We all are different!!

  8. My body type is the swimmer: strong shoulders, small waist and hips and no bum. It looks better than it sounds, LOL!

    Food combination: fries with extra salt + a chocolate milkshake were good… back in the days… I don’t recommend it! Unless you are looking to attain a watermelon body type!

    My pregnancy cravings were escargots in garlic butter and smoked salmon with lemon vinaigrette, capers and red onion.

    Now I’m hungry!

    • AHHH HA HA HA HA HA! OMG you make yourself out to sound so sexy! But no, I get what you’re saying. Your body sounds fierce!!

      Uhhh…. When I am pregnant (ahh ha ha ha – that’s funny to say) I only hope I have your delicious cravings!

  9. I think I’m a mix of apple and pear (is that possible?) – I have more characteristics of the apple but I do not lose weight easily! And when I gain it’s all in my thighs and hips!!!
    I think Angelina would kick Nicki all over the place!!

    • Of course you can be a mix between an apple and a pear – that mix sounds delicious! Ah ha ha! 😉

      But from the sounds of it, it sounds more like you’re a pear!
      And I am right there with you, I would LOVE to see Angie WHOOP Nicki’s ass, put her in her place!

  10. I should have been a body builder. 100% apple, and 100% wish I was celery. Oh well, you win some you lose some. I could kick the celery’s ass!

    • Ah ha ha! Should have?? You STILL CAN!! :) Meh, you don’t necessarily want to be celery, it’s kind of bland, ha ha ha!

  11. My body most resembles Cracker Jacks …cause I’m white and jack’d … obviously!!!

    • Ok Mr. Jacks do Murph this weekend with some friends, it’s in memory of a great man.

    • LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!! Your cracker. Well if that’s the case then I am…. Ripped Fuel (ever had that drink?)Cause I am RIPPED and… I do describe myself as an energy drink in human form!! 😉

  12. What am I,,, well meso is a safe bet, scrambled eggs and chicken with rice is a little disturbing but I like it. Niki has taken “Baby got Back” to a new level I agree with Britany, if you get to close to the event horizon you can’t escape the gravitational pull. Laura Croft will prevail. To stay fit, I run at least 2-3 miles per day at two minute pace sometimes with a 20 lb vest. various CrossFit and SealFit workouts. this memorial day I want to hear that at least one of you do “Murph” in memory of Lt. Michael Murphy, look him up. The work out is; 1 mile run with 20lb vest then 100 pull ups, 200 push ups 300 air squats (breaking plane) then another 1 mile run. All with the vest on by the way. Don’t have a vest run an extra mile, this was his favorite workout. GiGi have you met Robin Williams yet?? if you do get him going,you will have the ultimate interview.

    • Can’t say I will be doing the MURPH this weekend, AHH HA HA HA! I will however, STUFF MY FACE with burgers 😉 Same thing, right?

      I have yet to meet Robin, but I did have a dream that he and I were doing stand up together – I didn’t want to wake up! lol. I cannot wait to meet him though, he really seems like an amazing guy!

  13. I’m a Coke bottle babyyyyyy.. oh wait…no, cuz that would mean I’m full of high fructose corn syrup and I’m definitely not. Ok maybe a mix of pear and apple? I’m fit, but like.. I definitely have a butt……. ? Heh

    • Ah ha ha ha ha! Heck no, you don’t want to be FULL of high fructose corn syrup… That’s worse than being full of crap! lol.

      And be proud of your butt, guys love a nice BOTTOM 😉 — Not necessarily a Nicki butt though.

  14. Megamorph over here! errr, Mesomorph. However, will we ever know Nicki Minaj’s real body type? She’s soooo manufactured.

  15. Oooh this is fun! I’m a mesomorph/apple. Definitely not a celery and def not a pear (my legs are tiny, like super strong, but tiny little spindles of strength). And my body responds best to strength training as oppossed to long cardio or HIIT. And I like flexing in front of mirrors. Meso is a good fit for me.

  16. I can never figure out this fruit thing, but lets just say I am an apple..opal to be exact. I have an athletic build so that seems about right. If I ran into Nicki (like this is a casual occurrence) I would just start talking in a weird accent to make her feel comfortable around me.

    • AHHHHH HA HA! MAN I would love to be there when you run into her… Not literally run into her though, cause you’d probably get hurt from bouncing off her ass and falling over. LOL!

  17. I prefer to think of myself as a bean instead of a celery, but you get my point – I have to work VERY hard for every ounce of muscle I have and to keep it, too.

    • A string bean or a Pinto bean? lol. And I hear you. I work VERY HARD too! It’s not easy to be healthy, but it’s WORTH IT!

  18. I am pretty sure I am a hybrid fruit! I can’t even begin to figure out which body type I am… and the thought of pickles and ice cream sounds divine to me!! I actually would prefer Spanish Olives in my ice cream but if its uber salty mixed with sweet, I’m in! Can I just throw quarter at Kesha’s head instead of Nikki’s buns?? That idea is faaaarrrrr more appealing to me!

    • OMG spanish olives in your ice cream?? Now that’s a NEW ONE!! I do love olives though 😉

      And I am right there with you! I would throw more than just QUARTERS at Kesha’s head!!!

  19. GIRL my life is one big bad weird food combo.
    wanna come over for dinner? :-)

    • Heck yes I do!! Thanks for the invite! Will we be having a celery salad followed by an apple, pear tart? lol

  20. I guess I’m an Ectomorph/ Celery, but that doesn’t mean I’m just a lil’ stalk. :)

  21. i’m a pear – got that booty booty! :) :) (and proud of it!)

  22. I like red peppers. Is that a body shape? lol 😉

    • I think Bell Pepper shaped bodies… Are women (and I guess men too) who have huge racks!! 😉

      Love me some bell peppers – lol!

  23. I’m definitely the type that gains weight easily. But, I also build muscle pretty easily, too.

  24. I’m somewhere between a celery and an apple- I need a lot of calories, but if I gain weight, it goes right to my tummy, not anywhere else, which is what I always associated with an apple type… you know I love to run, but I’m really been enjoying a lot more strength training the last few years.

    • Imagine what a celery/apple would taste like! I actually think it might taste pretty delicious 😀

      And you and I are the same. I am a combo of both… When I do gain weight it goes to the tummy as well… And, I ALWAYS get bloated – but that’s probably just because I have been blessed with an amazing digestive system, lol!

      That’s awesome that you’ve been more into strength these years, it’s definitely more important than a lot of people think!

  25. Definitely a pear shape! And I remember as a kid I was a skinny celery stick – and then once I hit late teens/early 20s – the curves came. I think you can look at your family too – genetics and all that – to figure out things about your body.
    My mother’s side – the Persian one – are all very curvy women. They also have gained weight from the culture they have, eating large meals with rice and bread and all.
    My father’s side – women are more apple shaped with some pear shapes too.
    No one has ever been very tall or very thin – unless they worked at it.

    I’ve noticed from my workouts that I am losing the most around my waist and arms – the upper legs/thighs are harder so I def have done both cardio workouts and weights focused around that area. I also do a lot of bellydancing and hip hop/abs workouts too – super fun! :)

    • Pear shape is probably the sexiest in my mind! :) So you can thank your mama for giving you the hot curves!! It definitely means that working out is in order, but everyone should work out so it should really just be apart of everyone’s lifestyles!!

      Have you ever done strip tease classes?! I have been curious… LOL!

  26. Gigi, you pegged me to a T. Pear all the way. If I had Nicki’s whoop ass I would sail on. Unfortunately my ship sunk. 😛 I don’t even like pears. I had for dinner, non tomato turkey chile with about 1/4 tsp olive oil, beans, carrots, celery (nom nom, you guys are mine), green beans, chipotle, spices, mushrooms and some flake yeast for cheesy goodness without the cheese.

    Now, why don’t you do a comparison of the guys to these fruits and vegetables. :)

    • Ah ha ha ha ah!!!!! Well I think Arnold S. and The Rock could totally be BELL PEPPERS. Brawny shoulders. lol. And Ryan Reynolds… He is a cucumber? AHHH HA HA HA HA! Okay, this comment is moving to the gutter, pretty quickly! 😉

      Your dinner sounds delicious! :) I like that it was non-tomato chili! I do love tomatoes but some times they just take away from all the other flavor in the dish :) Thanks for the recipe!

  27. I think I’m the apple. Definitely not a celery. But maybe more pear-shape? I donno. I’ve never been able to figure out if I’m Endomorph or Mesomorph.
    I love mixing my tuna with mustard. I have this thing for mustard. Best condiment eva.
    I try to fill my body with real foods, and don’t count calories any more. I also make sure to get my sweat on, at least 4 times a week, if not more. I like to do fun things to stay active, like hiking though.
    Angie would definitely win. She’s like a ninja.

    • I LOVE MUSTARD! Do you have a favorite brand?!?! I love mustard mixed with dill, hmm… Spread on salmon! So good. But seriously, I eat mustard with everything… I love it on chicken too :) And the turmeric in it just makes me feel that much healthier!!

  28. IM A MISFIT type—and when I hear bodacious I wanna shout TATAS!!

  29. I am generally a FAIL-type body type haha. With are sorts of bionic parts and adds on. I guess I would probably be a GMO watermelon! haha

    • Ah ha ha ha ha aha!!!! I feel like we are ALL GMO fruits and/or vegetables!!! At least watermelons are yummy! LOL! Imagine if you were a GMO pea or corn on the cob. LOL

  30. I am sadly a pear surrounded by lots of celery! It’s hard…I have to watch my foods very carefully, be faithful to strength training and generally be jealous of many people who have lucky genes!

    • No way, being a pear is great! You’ve got the junk in the trunk that fills out pants nicely! I’d embrace those curves :) Plus, pears are far juicier than celery…. Ha, I guess in the figurative and literal sense, LOL!

  31. Erin from long Island says:

    I think i am celery, but I have muscles and a tiny “pooch” which I think is more beer’s fault than anything. So a strong, drunk celery? Yeah, that’s about right!

    I’d rather poke Nicki Minaj with a pin to see if her butt deflates. I am always convinced those round asses are just well-formed balloons. Yeah, i might be a bit jealous, my mom always called me “grandpa butt.”

    I used to watch power rangers with my little sister (I was a bit old for it, but liked the QT with her). I think I found the Pink one to be a bit too girly for my taste.

    Weird food combos? Oh lord, I could write a novel about mine!

    • Ah ha ha ha! Drunken Celery… I only really see those sitting in Bloody Mary hot tubs…

      I am right there with you, if you ever get the opportunity to pop Nicki’s ass, I wanna see it deflate…. She will shrivel up and deflate around the room like a balloon! Ha Ha Ha. You shouldn’t be jealous though, I have seen the booty in real life. It’s ANYTHING BUT cute!

      And uh… Start writing your novel!! LOL!

  32. Man, I don’t know what I am. I think a mix of apple and pear?? I wish I were a celery. haha.

    • You know what, so many people have said they’re a mix between a pear and an apple! I think that’s a pretty yummy combo – Seriously, imagine biting into an Apear! LOL! Celery is boring. Lets be honest 😉

  33. HAH! I’m so glad I found your blog. You’re cracking me up! I’m definitely a pear shape. It’s taken me awhile to embrace it, but I can drop it like it’s hot 😉

    • Yay! I am so glad you stopped BY!!!! 😀 You can come back to the PAR-TAY whenever you want, LOL!

      Dude, DROP IT LIKE IT’S HOT!!!!!!! Hell yes, embrace that pear shape! I wonder why they call it APPLE BOTTOM, when really the PEAR shaped bodies have the badonkadonks! 😉

  34. Definitely an apple here (or would be if I didn’t run 20+ miles a week). Definitely no curves on this bod.

  35. Umm….. I think I’m an apple. Definitely not celery. I need to watch what/how much I eat! I do think that lifting heavy helps me get fit faster than anything else.

    Mighty Morphin’ Power! Saber tooth tiger!
    Or something like that. She was my fav.

    • Ah ha ha! Oh the Power Rangers. Perhaps I should have a marathon this weekend, LOL!!! No no! I need to go outside and spend time with friends – Ah ha ha ah!

  36. I’m an apple or maybe a pear. An apple/pear that has to watch what I eat no matter how many miles I run. A cinnamon but might as well be glued to my butt if I choose to eat one. By the same token. A few squats=bigger thighs! Oh and Angelina would dominate Nicki in a fight!

    Love your writing style :)

    • Ah ha ha ha ha ha! I just envisioned you running down the street with a cinnamon bun glued to your butt. That would be a VIRAL YouTube video for sure!!! 😉 I am sure you would have plenty more gentleman looking your way!

  37. LOL! you crack me up with the jokes, and it’s kinda perfect for this post. Each body type is different but each is BEAUTIFUL. I think i am a pickle, like you. Spicy pickle!

    • I am sorry, but Nicki is just ASKING to be made fun of! I mean, no one gets ASS IMPLANTS so as to go under the radar! 😉

      But I agree, we are all completely unique, which all makes us beautiful in different ways!

      Spicy Pickles may just be the sexiest though! LOL!!

  38. We did some measurements to determine body types in one of my undergrad courses and I was identified as an endo-ectomorph: skinny arms and legs, round middle :) I don’t mind the mind middle though because it’s part of the motivation to stay active and to be more careful with what I eat.

  39. I believe my body type is vanilla pudding. As long as I’m in my container, I look fine, but put me on a plate, and I just kinda ooze all over. 😀 I’m loving this blog of yours GiGi!

    • LMFAO!!!!!!!!!! That was THE BEST answer!!!! Ah ha ha ha ha! At least you’re 100% scrumptious!! :)

      And THANK YOU… I am heading over to your blog RIGHT NOW! It’s loading on another tab! woop woop!

  40. I think I am an apple pear combo. Like a papple

  41. haha. The beginning cracked me up. It’s a creative way to introduce the topic of body types.
    But, yea. I don’t know what my body type is. I feel like it’s pear shaped, but that’s just me. The banana split looks delicious though. I want some ice cream now.

  42. I don’t know what I am, but I know Jolie would win in a fight. However, Niki might put up a good fight :) LOL Glad to see you work out in the same kicks :) LOL ahah Thanks for linking up at our Gluten Free Fridays party! I have tweeted and pinned your entry to our Gluten Free Fridays board on Pinterest! :)

    Can’t wait to see what you are bringing to the party this week! We have another GREAT giveaway!

    Cindy from vegetarianmamma.com

    • Thank you so much Cindy, I truly appreciate it!! Just you wait on what I am bringing to the party this Friday :)

  43. I’m pretty sure I’m a cross between a pear and an apple– a peapple we’ll call it. :)

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