An apple, a stalk of celery and a pear walk into a gym class…

Nicki and I work out in the same kicks!

The apple turns to the celery and says, “you’re such a stalker”…

The pear yells over to the apple…

“Don’t have a pest…icide!!!”

Okay, honestly, I have no idea where I am going with this.

Kind of like a bulk of the stories I tell…

I was trying to be all clever and come up with some cutesy way of introducing today’s blog topic….

Obviously I FAIL!

Can you guess what I am trying to get at?

Okay, before the curiosity kills you, today, I’m talking BODY TYPES!

Don’t show this picture to your children… They’ll never want to eat produce! FACKING CREEPY!

Obviously we were all built differently, I am clearly NOT Michael Jordan people, but did you know that even though body types vary so much, they can be classified into just three groups?

It’s MORPHIN’ time! 

Ectomorph/ Celery

An ectomorph is the type of person you want to smack up-side the head because they can shovel in 20 Ding Dongs and then move on to the cinnamon buns without gaining weight. This body type has a fast metabolism and needs a lot of calories in order to gain weight. Usually ectomorph’s have long thin limbs with stringy muscles, think Posh Spice. This body type benefits from short and intense workouts focusing on big muscle groups.

Damn supermodels.

Mesomorph/Apple

A mesomorph is the type of person you don’t want to mess with. A meso has a large bone structure, large muscles and a naturally athletic physique (that is, if they work out). Mesomorphs are the best body type for bodybuilding. Could you see Kesha doing dead lifts? They find it quite easy to gain and lose weight. They are naturally strong which is the perfect platform for building muscle. Mesomorphs do need to watch what and how much they eat though (No cinnamon buns for you! Although, ectomorphs really should strive to eat healthy foods too) for they tend to gain weight far easier than Ectomorphs.

Za Arnold. (Pronounce Arnold – Aw-NAUD).

Endomorph/Pear

An endomorph body type is solid and generally soft. Who’s envisioning the Pillsbury Dough Boy? These body types gain fat very easily. Endo’s are usually of a shorter build with thick arms and legs… Melissa McCarthy is an example, she can definitely open a can of WHOOP-ASS on ANYONE! Muscles are strong, especially the upper legs. A healthy diet coupled with cardiovascular exercise is key in keeping Endomorphs trim and slim.

Snoop Dogg (whoa, no… Lion, excuse my mistake) loves these ladies… Drop it like it’s hot… Drop it like it’s hot!

So when you look in the mirror do you see a shiny apple, a stalk of celery, a wobbly pear, or an overflowing banana split?

That is one flexible banana!

Not going to lie, when I check myself out in the mirror… I see one SEXY pickle!

I just want to take a bite of myself…

Oh and Angelina Jolie… Sees KALE – but we already knew that! 

Take that back NOW GiGi!

Why should we care about what body type we are?

Well in order to live our healthiest lives, it’s a good idea to figure out which fruit or vegetables you look like.

You sexy beast, you!

That way you can customize your lifestyle around to the appropriate exercises and the foods you should be eating in order to achieve your fittest self ever!

I mean, we are a lot like vegetables and fruits in that they pair well with some things, but not everything!

I having an INKLING that ketchup would NOT taste all that good with pineapple.

So tell me…

• What body type category do you fall under?
• Do you have any weird food combinations you love?
• How do you stay fit and healthy?
• Do you think Angie looks like KALE?
• Does pickles dipped in ice cream sound good to you?
• If you saw Nicki Minaj would you try to bounce a quarter off her ass?
• Did any of you ever watch the Power Rangers? (Fun Fact: I auditioned to be the pink one in the latest installment – yep, the show still exists!)
• Who would win in a fight: Nicki Minaj or Angelina Jolie? 

Kacie of Savvy, Sassy Me and Danielle of It’s A Harleyy Life nominated my scrumptious blog for AWARDS!

Since they nominated me for two DIFFERENT awards, I went ahead and created an entirely NEW AWARD: The “I’m FRIGGIN’ AMAZING Award” or the “FRAMAZING” award for short!

Typically when you’re nominated, you have to write out a few facts about yourself… but I decided to make a VIDEO! Weee! 

FRAMAZING AWARD RULES:

• Detail 7 random facts about yourself (video or written – whichever you prefer!)
  
• Nominate 7 people to do the same 

Are you drooling at the thought of getting to know me better? Well then WATCH the video below! YOU KNOW YOU‘RE CURIOUS!

Clearly I have a lot going on in my brain…

And now, the drum roll please….

THE FRAMAZING NOMINEES ARE: 

• Tara of The Food Pervert
• Whitney of To Live and Diet
• Brittany of Blissful Brit
• Armen of Armen Atoyan
• Mariko of Culinary Adventures with Mariko
• Brad of Brad Gouthro Fitness
• Laura of Sprint 2 The Table

A calorie-free alcoholic beverage to get you NICE AND SLOPPY when you’re out on the town!

The only guilt you will feel is when you wake up the following morning after the bender… To find yourself next to someone you…

Don’t… Even… Know…

Hey! At least you don’t have to go to the gym to burn off all the calories you drank last night!

That’s one way to burn those calories Cam!

If you actually believe what I just wrote… Then you’re probably intoxicated right now!

Going to sticky bars, ear drum bursting clubs, or sometimes even the reality-escaping, Narnia-like place, the liquor cabinet in your house, typically results in slurping down copious amounts of calories (and sugar) that you really didn’t intend on ingesting.

Or did you?

But what’s 5 pm with out a little alcohol?

How can someone dance all night like a crazy chicken without liquid courage?

Who can get through a morning at work without doing a keg stand in the bathroom? (If you’re actually thinking this… You may want to seek help)

Class, Class, Class!

It can be pretty tricky navigating through a colorful cocktail menu…

Hopefully though, you can tell that a Baileys Hot Chocolate Tiramisu is just another way of saying: let me get you wasted while dumping a garbage truck full of sugar and calories into your face. 

And a Guinness Float with Coffee Ice Cream, Whipped Cream, Salty Peanuts and Chocolate Syrup can be translated to mean: sure pretend all you want that you’re seven years old again in that diner you used to frequent, but the sad truth is… yeah, I won’t go there.

So then what beverages are code for: let me get you a little tispy without stuffing your head into a bag of sugar and empty calories? 

Well water is always a good choice. 

Just kidding! Who on earth goes to a bar and orders a water on the rocks… Seriously?

Okay, uh, why am I raising my hand? 

But honestly, if you want to take a load off without putting a load on… There are some BETTER alternatives than the Mojito you’re waving the bartender down for. 

• Vodka Soda (Diet soda that is) 
• Gin & (Diet) Tonic
• White Wine Spritzer
• Bloody Mary
• Light Beer
• Skinny Girl Cocktails (I am in NO WAY affiliated… But they are a little easier on your GUT than say… a Long Island Iced Tea)

Clearly Beyonce ain’t listening…

If you want to wind up looking like slop-job [INSERT CRUNKED CELEBRITY'S NAME HERE]…  Then by all means, ignore my advice. 

However, if you want to look HOT…

Instead of looking like a bloated Lil Kim…

When you wake up next to that unknown person the following morning, HEED MY ADVICE! 

So tell me… 

• What’s your drink of choice?
• What’s the craziest drunken experience that you remember?
• Are you excited for The Hangover 3 to come out?
• Do you have a hangover remedy you want to share?
• Do tell your “walk of shame” stories! 
• How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb?
• Have you ever done a keg stand in the bathroom at work before?  
• What’s the dumbest pick-up line you have ever heard? 

“I would love three scoops of chocolate chip cookie dough, topped off with some rainbow sprinkles (yep, I totally did that), peanut butter cups… and oh, oh some whipped cream too!”

You might as well have asked…

“I would love three scoops of cardiovascular disease, topped off with some diabetes, tooth decay and… oh, oh some liver failure too!”

Mmmm liver failure!

If that’s not enough to make you drop the drumstick… Perhaps the latest episode of GiGi Eats will cause you to have a chilling revelation about the heart stopping ice cream stash in your freezer. 

Mmm… Scrumptious! GiGi Eats Celebrities but DOESN’T eat ice cream!

Head on over to the GiGi Eats Celebrities YouTube channel and subscribe!

Follow GiGi Eats Celebrities on Twitter!

Like GiGi Eats Celebrities on Facebook!

ANNOUNCEMENT:

THE WINNER of The Beauty Detox Foods is…… KATIE SCOTT of Kate Moving Forward!

CONGRATS!!!!! This is huge, you’re the winner of my first giveaway EVER and… I am throwing in a little extra something, something to the prize! 

• Do you play with your food?
• Have you ever played the drums with those Drumstick Ice Cream cones?
• What’s your favorite flavor of ice cream?
• Do you have any creative and HEALTHY dessert recipes to share?
• Would you rather chow down on 8 bowls of your favorite ice cream or date your celebrity crush?
• What celebrity do you think could use a GIGANTIC ice cream cone?
• If you were ice cream, what flavor would you be?

Swimsuit season… I guess I need to start a few work out programs!

Excuse my random outburst… It must have happened because I am extremely HANGRY due to the fact that swimsuit season is pretty much here (well in LA that is)… And I am starving myself so as to look like Adriana Lima in ass floss and nipple tassels.

Wait, is that a burlap sack?

Okay, I am actually NOT starving myself (or wearing what a showgirl might wear in Vegas) – you can ask my friends… But I am pretty sure there are a few celebrities out there who might be… 

Not even sure what to say about this…

It really drives me hair YANKING crazy when I hear people say they’re going on juice fasts, excuse me, CLEANSES, so as to achieve some sexy ASS CLEAVEGE (oh yea, guys want this too…).

These ladies are pretty cheeky!

YOU DON’T… I REPEAT… YOU DON’T need to nix CHEWING in order to get the beach appropriate body!

You want to know who is YELLING THIS along with me?

Kimberly Snyder!

You can tell she’s conjuring up another delicious recipe!

Kimberly Snyder is best known for being a celebrity nutritionist (Drew Barrymore and Channing Tatum are only two of her “sparkling” clients) as well as the author of the best selling book The Beauty Detox Solution. Kim recently released another delicious read.

The Beauty Detox Foods.

To sum up 300 pages worth of information (did you know Watercress is wonderful for your skin?): you can eat absolutely delicious foods and look stunning; NO STARVING NECESSARY! 

How about feasting on some Endurance Protein Bars made with nuts, cinnamon and a hint of nutmeg… Or belly-flopping into a bowl of Italian Eggplant Caponata?

Check out those eggplant’s curves

Kim’s recipes are perfect for animal lovers and gluten shunners as they’re all vegan and gluten-free! For the carnivores in the world (yep, that’s me!) Kim’s recipes make great side dishes to that extra large, juicy, bacon-topped grass-fed beef burger! 

Check out those BUNS and MEAT!

Just call Kim the Hangry Slayer! 

Stuff it, HANGRY!

While you’re more than welcome to purchase her newest book on her web site or Amazon… (Do book stores still exist?)

I have some pretty tasty news…

YOU CAN WIN A COPY OF HER BOOK… RIGHT HERE!

NOW THAT IS SOMETHING TO YELL F#$%@*&%!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! about!

There are LOADS of ways to enter below!
a Rafflecopter giveaway

• How do you prepare for ass-floss season?
• Do you believe in “cleansing” or “fasting”?
• Is the weather starting to get WARMER where you are?
• What’s your favorite superfood?
• Do you have any AMAZING summer plans? Make me jealous… 
• How do you like them apples? 

But that’s actually when the BASH gets started!

(Think Toy Story except ditch Woody and Buzz Light Year and pictures Blueberries, Oranges and Spinach with personalities!)

While Onions, Eggplant and Tomatoes direct Jicama, Bananas, Kale, Swiss Chard (Wee! Love colors!) and all the other vegetables and fruits to their designated seats, there is one vegetable missing in action…

The reason?

Because they’re prepping for their jaunts down the produce aisle runway.

Can you guess which fruit or vegetable is the SUPERMODEL of the produce department?

If you’re completely clueless, well, then you HAVE TO watch these stalky “ladies” sashay down the “runway”… (AKA: WATCH MY VIDEO!)

And okay, I guess there are two types of produce that are MIA… I mean, these sexy edibles need to be “prepped” and they certainly can’t do it themselves.

All I can say is I really hope these vegetables don’t get peer-pressured into getting “fried”. Frying, whether it be food or whether it be supermodels doing drugs… It’s not attractive. 

Mmm… Scrumptious! GiGi Eats Celebrities!

Head on over to the GiGi Eats Celebrities YouTube channel and subscribe!

Follow GiGi Eats Celebrities on Twitter!

Like GiGi Eats Celebrities on Facebook!

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• Do you like leeks?
• How do you cook leeks? What do you like to pair them with?
• How do you deal with leaky faucets?
• Would you like to stew in a hot tub with some leeks?
• Do you think these leeks hold a candle to Giselle or Miranda?
• Should I pitch a movie idea about food at the grocery store coming to life to Disney/Pixar?

Oh wait… Excuse me…

 Separated at birth, don’t you think?

You know what these two pissed off carnivores need? 

Saffron!

Okay random… 

Yes, I am talking about that fiery red spice that rapes your wallet when you buy it at the store…  

M***** F*****! Saffron better be worth it! 

Well, we all know that Mr. Trump’s wallet can handle the cost, so he better purchase the spice ASAP and perhaps sprinkle some in Mr. Rex’s mouth… While he’s at it like a drug dealer, he might as well hand some of the spice over to other rather disturbed celebrities…

SPICE ME UP NOW BIG BOY!

But wait, shouldn’t these angry celebrities just head to their therapist’s offices?

Well they could, but why bother throwing down the extra G’s when saffron could very well be a ingestible therapist!

Open Wide!

Okay, lets not go that far, but saffron does have some mood calming, among other, benefits that really need to be highlighted.

Saffron has a way of charming the pants off of anger, depression and digestive issues.

And a high-five can be given to the compound crocin that saffron is abundant in (it activates serotonin in our bodies – calming anxieties, etc).

Saffron bitch-slaps more than just anger and depression though.

In fact, if Amanda Bynes ingested copious amounts of saffron, as opposed to…. Well, you fill in the blank… She might have been able to avoid those hit and run messes she is/was involved in because saffron is known to improve vision!

“Oh hey look, I have five fingers!”

Sorry for not letting you know sooner Amanda!

In all seriousness though, saffron should really just have it’s own comic book series because the spice has innumerable amounts of antioxidants. Antioxidants are like Superman in your body, they kick some serious booty in order to protect you from ailments such as cancer.

Would you flip through the pages of SAFFRON: Paella and Cancer Battle it Out

Put a red wig on The Rock and he will most likely be the front runner to play Saffron in the comic book turned movie!

The Rock is cooking with saffron!

Clearly “medicating” with saffron is far more intelligent than loading up on al capone and aunt nora to calm down and get happy! 

*RDA for saffron: two 88 mg doses a day!

• Do you believe that saffron can actually calm people down?
• Do you think Donald Trump and T-Rex look alike?
• How do you like The Rock as a red head?
• Do you use saffron? If so, how? And have you felt its affects?
• What drugs do you think Amanda Bynes is on? 

Anyways… 

What do Dane Cook, Kevin Hart and I have in common? 

Well not a whole hell of a lot…

Except, we have all stood on stage in front of a massive audience and made complete and utter donkeys of ourselves.

That’s right, I can now cross “stand-up comedy” off of my bucket list. 

• Stand Up Comedy

To be honest, I am not entirely sure what I even did up there… Was it comedy? Was I even standing? 

Whatever, you be the judge. 

PS: You are going to learn A LOT about me when you watch this video… You’ve been warned.

Mmm… Scrumptious! GiGi Eats Celebrities!

I guess I am not THAT BAD… Especially if Bite Size Wellness wanted to feature me on their site! 

Head on over to the GiGi Eats Celebrities YouTube channel and subscribe!

Follow GiGi Eats Celebrities on Twitter!

Like GiGi Eats Celebrities on Facebook!

• So… What did you think of my sad attempt at Stand-Up?
  
• Would you ever do stand-up?
• Who is your favorite stand-up comedian?
• Have you ever had stomach problems like mine?
• Do guys/girls need an instruction manual to date you?
• How do you feel about UNAGI? 

Seriously, if you come to Los Angeles in December, you might even find me trotting around the city in a bikini.

Does that entice you to get on Orbitz and book a flight? 

You totally thought I was going to post a picture of me in a bikini now didn’t you!

Regardless of my inability to tell whether it’s winter or summer, I am pretty sure this past winter, you all had to endure Amanda Bynes like bi-polar temperatures that come with Earth’s bitchy atmosphere.

Who wanted to kick winter’s grumpy ass?

Well you will be happy to know that Spring took care of that for you and has officially K-Oed Winter’s keister! 

While it may now be Spring, this doesn’t just mean that celebrities (and yourself?) have every excuse to wear next to nothing when getting sloppy drunk and winding up in someone else’s bed (hope you have more class than that).

Spring also means that one of the sexiest vegetables is now ripe enough to be “undressed”.

That’s right, THE ARTICHOKE is ready for it’s walk of shame… Although, it being so delicious and healthy (there is an extract – silymarin – in artichokes that literally hugs your liver), I hardly believe it will ever get kicked out of someone’s bed.

I was gazing at one of my Spring-time globes the other evening while watching E! News and got to thinking: 

Which steamy celebrities look as alluring as seductive Artichokes… (they are an aphrodisiac after all) 

 Would you like to nibble on a little Justin Timberlake? With some melted coconut butter perhaps?

 I’m thinking about grilling Justin Bieber…

 Katie Holmes will find a man soon enough with her delicious appeal!

 Robert Pattinson has perfected “the artichoke”.

 Not sure whether I should eat or stick this artichoke in water. Men around the world are wondering the same thing about Katy Perry!

The artichoke has such a strong presence, just like Adele.

E! as well as Access Hollywood, Extra and Entertainment Tonight REALLY need to do special segments about which celebrities that look like vegetables because this right here is some hard-hitting journalism!

You read it here first folks… Justin Timberlake and Justin Bieber will be collaborating on a song called “Artichokes” all in honor of the new season! I guess this is long overdue, considering there are so many winter holiday songs out there! 

NOW GO… Eat some artichokes! 

• Do you like artichokes?
• How do you prepare them?
• Are you happy it’s now spring?
• What’s your favorite season?
• What celebrity do you think most looks like an artichoke?

I stopped in Marrakech, Istanbul, Barcelona, South Africa, Auckland, Hong Kong and Rio De Janeiro…

We made a little friend in South Africa!

All with my sexy travel “companion” (if you catch my drift!) Ryan Gosling  in our own private G-4 jet.

What a calorie-free muffin, carrying my luggage!

You can imagine how exhausted I am…

Ryan is such an animal… I’m exhausted. 

Ha! Yeah, how tired my eccentric imagination is!

Regardless as to whether you take a mental vacation or a real one, traveling can be quite exhausting and some even find that they need a vacation after they take a vacation!

The cutest piece of laundry ever! Rival’s my VS panties!

Celebrities are constantly on the go – for work or pleasure, yet look completely put together (well, okay, NOT ALL of them, but I am generalizing here) when photographed out and about. (Yes, they have make up artists, hair dressers, stylists, etc but still…)

All I know is that after deplaning from a 16 hour flight, I look about as sexy as…

I’m a smelly, hangry bi-otch!

I can almost guarantee a bulk of you look just as FETCHING as I do after traveling… But the worst part isn’t actually right after you get off that flying coffin (yeah, I hate flying). The WORST happens a few days later when the jet lag slaps you in the face, or your seat mate’s donkey coughing… Causes you to get nice and sick.

Gee thanks, Jackass!

You wouldn’t happen to have a tissue, would you?

Thankfully, while your head might literally be in the CLOUDS (ha, see what I did there?) there are ways to keep you healthy while flying (or driving, sailing, hovering?)!

• Exercise: This tip refers to both before and after your flight or drive, although could you imagine someone lunging up and down the aisles in their spandex on the plane?
• Pack Healthy Snacks/Plan In Advance: If you watched my videos, YOU KNOW WHY! 
• Relax: Kick it with some mindless reality TV? 
• Stay Hydrated/ Don’t Drink Alcohol: Getting tipsy at 30,000 ft is not a smart idea! 
• Toughen Up Your Immune System: Kale can do the trick! 
• Listen To Music: Nothing like Lil Wayne or Snoop Dog, excuse me, LION, to cure your lethargy. 
• Pack Anti-Bacteria Wipes/Lotion: Personally, I like to wipe down toilet seats with these AMAZING germ murderers! 
• Follow The Local Schedule If Changing Time Zones: There’s an app for that, the Jet Rooster App! 

With these awesome tips, who is ready to go to Taipei!? 

So tell me…

• Healthy Travel: How do you do it?
• Are you going anywhere AMAZING anytime soon?
• Do you wonder how celebrities stay looking so “put together” even though they’re always on the go?
• Where was the last place you traveled to?
• What’s your dream vacation?
• Can you sleep on airplanes?
• Do you like airplane food?