Golden Arches… No, No, Globes!

Do you feel bad when you’re choking down on some delicious grub while watching celebrities strut their stuff down the red carpet? Yeah, me neither.

These celebrities may look flawless as they flaunt their hard work, thank you squats and naked chicken breasts, but they’re all most likely thinking about belly-flopping into a barrel of butter.

Stacy Keibler

“While I could certainly eat George up with a spoon… I could REALLY go for a huge tub of mango sorbet right now… George, you can jump in if you’d like… two birds, one stone!”

Mila Kunis

“This dress isn’t worth having to forgo Cheez-its and Cheetos for the past two months. Little do all the cameras know… I have a stash under this flowy bad boy! Not just a dress guys… not just a dress.”

Nicole Kidman & Keith Urban

NK: “I want some… baby back, baby back, baby back… Chili’s Baby Back Ribs… I want some… Chili’s Baby Back Ribs… WITH BBQ SAUCE!”

KU: “Would you quit squeezing my hand so hard. Yes, I understand you are starving, but you didn’t take the purse that could hold the foot long Subway sandwich, so it’s your own damn fault.”

Emma Stone

“Maybe if I continue to eye flirt with that dude over there, he’ll let me have some of those Pringles. Too bad my dress doesn’t have a leg slit, now that would seal the deal. I can cut my dress right? I mean, it’s just a Lanvin!”

Charlize Theron

“I want some yams.”

Reese Witherspoon

“Fried chicken, coleslaw… Nothing like some re-heated fried chicken at midnight. I hope Jim can read my mind… eff that, I’m a text him!”

Angelina Jolie & Brad Pitt

AJ: “The kids better come through tonight and eat all the food so Brad doesn’t force feed me when we get home. I mean that’s why I have SIX! If the kids don’t hold up their end of the bargain tonight, I am getting another.”

BP: “My cane rocks. My cane is awesome. Wait… that girl just said I look like an old man with this cane. Hmm… I kind of want a candy cane.”

Sorry Hollywood A-listers (B-listers, C-listers…D-listers), but in order to stay picture perfect this award season, you’re just going to have to ignore your “dirty” thoughts of “naughty” food… 44 more days of dry chicken breast and weird powdery green drinks…


  1. Give Charlize some yams, doggone-it!

  2. Lol! This is hilarious! Love it!

  3. I have a problem with the overall premise of your article but I still think its really informative. I really like your other posts. Keep up the great work. If you can add more video and pictures can be much better. Because they help much clear understanding. :) thanks

  4. And I love this!

  5. Cute!! I love this post : )

  6. Too funny! What a fun post!

  7. You make me laugh :)

  8. I read this after refueling with a burger, fries, and a milkshake… and it only made me feel better about myself. Bwhahahaha! Skinny biy-atches, get a shake to go with those shoestring fry legs!

    • LMFAO!!!!!!!!!! That’s SOOOO worth it over squeezing into an uncomfortable wrap dress (oh and the SPANX too)… I’d rather kick it in my sweats, eating and watching the Globes on TV – ha! Take that Mila Kunis!


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