¡Ay, Caramba! – Guest Post

With a crazy busy weekend filled with…

  • What felt like 18-million birthdays (it is officially clear to me that women are quite randy in January – cold weather will do that to you?)
  • Filming and editing multiple shows (new GiGi Eats next week, with a NEW guest! Oh and a BRAND NEW SHOW… HERE!)
  • School work (yep, back to school I go, for my certification in Nutrition from Tufts University)
  • The Emmy’s (I had to vacuum the red carpet)

Dr. J of CalorieLab.com Fame (among other things), SWOOPED IN like Superman, ready to save the day, by offering up a guest post!

Superman Dog!

In Dr. J’s musing, he proves that karma can be a bi***! Maybe that’s why he so generously offered up a guest post?

When GiGi asked for guest writers for her site I was hoping that she would find my musing GiGi-worthy! It seems that neither of us have Mexican food on the top of our favorites list, although I do think she could do a fabulous Carmen Miranda in her entertaining videos. I still want to share a story about an integral Mexican food ingredient for those that like it , the very hot and spicy jalapeño pepper!  Studies have supported that eating capsaicin containing foods, the chemical that puts the capital “H” in Hot, does seem to help prevent weight regain and may aid in weight loss. 

hot peppers capsaicin

It all started many years ago when a young and very dumb master J was off at summer camp. At the camp, there was a young man who for whatever unknown reasons kids have to be cruel, was the target of everyone’s nastiness, and I was no exception

I don’t think my higher brain functions were fully developed at this unfortunate point in my life, but somehow I got an idea to play, what I thought at the time would be a joke, on this innocent kid. I got a hold of some black pepper from the camp dining room, placed some in the palm of my hand and said to the kid, “look what I have!” He walked over and was looking at the pepper when I blew on my hand sending enough of it into his face that instead of making him sneeze, it went into his eyes and caused him to scream in pain!

crying boy

He had to spend the next few days in the camp infirmary and I was given a very stern talking to by the camp leaders!

You may be asking yourself at this point, besides the obvious why questions, what this has to do with jalapeño peppers. 

I’m getting to that.

So over the succeeding years, I reflected on what I had done to this boy, and I always felt guilty for my thoughtless and cruel actions. Really the guilt never went away, and I would always feel terrible for doing this. It’s interesting what stays with us from the millions of memories we accumulate in life why some things never go away and are always remembered. I don’t have that many regrets in my life, but I regret that lack of kindness, regardless of my lack of awareness due to age, to this day. 

Are you still wondering about the jalapeños? 

Question Mark Man

So one day, a few years ago, I’m in the kitchen making, a rare for me, Mexican meal. As I was carefully cutting up this large, very hot, jalapeño pepper, as the karmic clock struck 12, I made the fatal stroke and with that knife slice a seed from the pepper went straight into my eye!

The pain was well beyond anything I had ever experienced! Water in the eye only made it worse. How am I going to drive to the Emergency Room? What am I going to do? My mind was caught in a Mobius strip of pain with no apparent way out!

Mobius Strip

After about 10 minutes of this, the pain started to diminish, and eventually it was gone. My eye looked like a big red hot house tomato, but I still had normal vision. I read about capsaicin and discovered (in life we learn about things we never wanted to learn about) that it causes no physical damage whatsoever, only PAIN! (Something that I suspect any FBI or CIA agent already knows.)  And at least now, I won’t need to have that Lasik procedure done!

Lasik Eye Surgery

Which brings us back to that kid at camp and my terrible pepper joke, because just like that, I realized that, although I still had the regret, I no longer felt the oppressive guilt for doing what I did so long ago. I felt that I had gotten what I deserved and felt a calmness and acceptance of what goes around comes around. 

I no longer cut up jalapeño peppers however, as I don’t want to test if karma is subject to the double jeopardy clause. 

German Shepherds Karma

   Contributor: “Dr. J”; Dr. J offers his irreverent, slightly irrelevant, but possibly useful opinions on health and fitness. A Florida surgeon and fitness freak with a black belt in karate, he runs 50 miles a week and flies a Cherokee Arrow 200.

SO TELL ME:

  • Has karma ever bitten you where the sun don’t shine?
  • Have you ever had the amazing experience of getting hot pepper seed in your eye?
  • Do you like Mexican food?
  • Were you the bully or the bully target in school/camp?
  • Could you win a scotch bonnet eating competition?
  • Do you believe the hot pepper “weight loss” hype?
  • What is the cruelest prank you’ve ever played on someone?
  • Should Dr. J have a regular column on GiGi Eats Celebrities?

Comments

  1. That’s quite a story! I’ve never gotten hot pepper seed in my eye; but I have made the inglorious mistake (when I was much younger) of eating jalapeno peppers with my hands (I like them a lot), and then rubbing my eye… That was a mistake I will NEVER, EVER make again!!

    • I have certainly done that TOO!!! But I have also gotten juice and seed in my eyes as well, wow, KARMA really hates me! LOL!

  2. •Has karma ever bitten you where the sun don’t shine? No

    •Have you ever had the amazing experience of getting hot pepper seed in your eye? No

    •Do you like Mexican food? Yes, very much. But then again, I like most foods. I’m a foody.

    •Were you the bully or the bully target in school/camp? No

    •Could you win a scotch bonnet eating competition? ????

    •Do you believe the hot pepper “weight loss” hype? I believe that whatever someone believes will work for them will, indeed, work for them.

    •What is the cruelest prank you’ve ever played on someone? I’ve never done a prank to anyone that was cruel.

    •Should Dr. J have a regular column on GiGi Eats Celebrities? Sure, why not.

    I do believe that what goes around comes around and that you reap what you sow but now in the way of what most people think of karma.

    I don’t think there is a score card and you have to pay back everything.

    I think it is more about the here and now and what your dominant vibration is attracting.

    Well, this blog is about humor so I will stop right there….

    :-)

    Kathy

    • Phew! I am glad you don’t think there is a score card. I am going to live by that, because for awhile, I definitely thought that things I did in my youth that I am not so proud of would come back to haunt me! ha ha…

  3. I haven’t had this happen, but I have had friends who have done the same. Now I’ll be even more careful!

  4. First – I love Mexican food!!!
    Because I’m stupid, I’ve rubbed my eyes after cutting hot peppers but I don’t think that is near as bad as getting a seed in your eye.
    I was neither a bully nor bullied.
    Probably because I’m not great at pulling off pranks.
    And, sure, Dr. J could easily become a regular over here!!!

    • Ha! I have been the victim of a Hot Pepper Seed and JUICE before – ugh! Maybe that’s 1/2 the reason why Mexican food and I… Meh, not good friends! LOL!

  5. I love the line about how the CIA and FBI probably already know this! I picture Jack Bauer doing the ‘ol pepper in the eye torture! I once had cayenne pepper in my eye. It. was. awful. Not sure if it was karma but if it was, I must have done something really bad!

    • OMG I have had that too! And I have had PEPPER SPRAY in my eye, which I guess.. now that I think about it, is PEPPER! bah ha ha! I love how I never really put two and two together, UNTIL NOW!

    • Thank you! Maybe you have already done the time so you have a free get out of bad karma kard to use in any way you choose!

  6. Oh boy, well my life revolves around murphy’s law not so much bad karma. never went to camp but was homeless at 15 so it was kind of like one of those survival camps. Never a bully but have enjoyed seeing some get their butt whooped by the bullied person. I have on numerous occasions forgot to wash my hands well after cutting up peppers then rub my eyes and no thanks on the scotch bonnets. :( The cruelest prank was played on me by my Granny, she did not like my girlfriend at the time and made us brownies for a road trip, chocolate exlax was the key ingredient,,, need I say more. I personally feel that what works for one may not for others so hot peppers and weight loss not to sure. We earn respect, so let’s see what he brings to the table or should I say discussion. :)

    • I’m sorry you were homeless so young, Rocco! Of course, with a Granny like that most any other place sounds better. Other than this story, I’ve never been a bully, but sure have been bullied, so I know the pain. It motivated me to learn some skills and I’m sure you would have appreciated my applying them to a few bullies that didn’t know when to back off! If the need ever arises, I’ll cover your back!

    • I seriously think you need to write a book. I am so incredibly intrigued by your life.

      BAH HA HA HA HA! And I think I love your granny!!! Chocolate X-LAX Brownies! My kind of prank, LOL!

      By the way, Whitney, Tara and I are collaborating on something in the very near future. You will be seeing more of Whitney and I in general too 😉 Next week, a WHOLE NEW girl though!

  7. I’m sure I’ve done SOMETHING obnoxious enough to warrant bad karmic payback, but thanks to my crappy memory I don’t recall what it is. So I’ll just hope that my ass remains unbitten for as long as I can get away with it.

  8. While living in Senegal as a child, I once accidentally bit into a piece of piri-piri. Ah! the pain! I stood, mouth open and tongue out, in front of the fan set to MAX. The cold air helped A LITTLE BIT.

    Karma bit me at least once. I was playing a prank on my little brother and had put soap on his toothbrush. He did not notice, put some toothpaste on top of it, and was about to start brushing, when my mom walked in: “Oh, X, you put way too much toothpaste! Let’s put some on your sister’s toothbrush.” She rubbed the 2 toothbrushes together to split the toothpaste evenly, then ordered us to start brushing. I had the nerve to say “It tastes like soap!” She said “Stop being silly and brush”. Yuck.

    I do like salsa and guacamole.

    I’ve been both bully and bullied, but that was a LONG time ago.

    • OMG that story is hysterical! WHOOPS!!!!! You definitely got bitten PRETTY BADLY by Mr. Karma, that’s for sure! LOL!!!

      Oh and I am glad you’re no longer bullied!!

  9. AHH I LOVE ME SOME DR. J.
    and KARMA :)
    thus far Ive avoided the latter.

  10. I actually love Mexican food, though I make vegan versions of course. And I use lots of jalapeno and it’s spicier sister, serrano chiles. And I have accidentally touch my eyes before washing my hands, so I know the pain of which you speak. Though for me it is not some kind of karmic retaliation for a childhood cruelty. Funny story! I hope the poor pepper boy turned out to be Bill Gates or someone like him. That is the true revenge.

    • I don’t know what’s happening for him now, but I do know what happened to him later at camp! The “toughest” kid at camp was picking on him one day and the counselors got the bright idea to arrange a boxing match between the two of them in front of the whole camp! Unfortunately for the “tough” guy, Pepper boy was not schooled in the rules of boxing and with a well placed kick below the belt ended the fight in the first round!! The crowd loved it and no one ever picked on him again, lol!

    • That would truly be karmic if the boy turned out to be Bill! LOL!!

  11. No one’s ever bitten my butt – not that I know of…but Karma is a …. you know

    • I think you would know if someone bit you on the butt…. Just sayin’ ! LOL!! PS – I am going to Disneyland on Friday!!! I wish you were going to be there!

  12. I LOVE heat. Totally could win a scotch bonnet eating competition. Was that a challenge? 😉

    • Yes, yes it was! If you ever come to visit me, I will make you do the scotch bonnet challenge on GiGi Eats Celebrities! BAH HA HA! 😉

  13. I think I’ve received karma in some ways but I also think the fact that you realized what you did was wrong, makes you human and you are not a bad person! But I guess now you know how that kid felt, sorry about the jalepeno!

    • I feel like we may not realize what we are doing is wrong in the moment, but when we think back on it, then we realize that we could have been nicer. I am now realizing that everything I did when I was younger, wasn’t exactly the nicest. Ha!

  14. YES! Finally two other people who don’t just loooooove Mexican food. Whenever I tell people I don’t want Mexican, they look at me like my head just exploded.

    P.S. I didn’t know you were in school! You’re easily the most entertaining RD(?) to be that I’ve ever met.

  15. Wow, that’s quite a story! I like Mexican but really have to be in the mood for it. Otherwise I am a Thai food person. And that pic of the dogs its hysterical!

    • What’s your favorite Thai food? I have never had it before because I cannot eat noodles and I feel like it’s all noodles.

  16. I grew up with spicy. I only know it to be hot around herrrr 😉

  17. I’ve def gotten hot pepper ‘stuff’ in my eye. It was THE WORST. ever.

    • I remember the first time it ever happened to me. It was with a scotch bonnet and I was about 5 or 6. OH MY, I thought that’s what death felt like!!!

  18. DR. J has so many crazy, fun & wonderful stories!! I say he should have some good Karma… I am not sure what I believe in this regard but I do know my parents were amazing people that helped many but not such great karma to them at times for all they did…

    comment luv does not like me today…

    What People NEED to Know about Weight Loss – Follow Up http://truth2beingfit.com/2013/09/24/what-people-need-to-know-about-weight-loss—follow-up.aspx

  19. Oh my gosh haha I have definitely done this before! And I wear contacts so it is even harder to get it out!

  20. Hey Hey Dr. J! Glad to see you here! I have had karma bit me in the behind and it didn’t feel good but all I could do was shake my head in shame! I was a bit of a bully in high school to this nerd that was trying to sit in my seat. I actually pulled him out of the seat (or tried to anyway)! I thought about that after the fact and hoped he didn’t turn into some psycho and put me on his shxt list! I love Mexican but it doesn’t love me :)

  21. Hey Joi! Thanks! GiGi threw me a bone and I went for it, lol! But then she has a big heart for strays :-)

  22. I once got a piece of a spicy chicken wing in my eye at a varsity lacrosse banquet causing me to scream “There’s chicken in my eye!” and of course everyone turned around to see me crying from the hot sauce – man that hurt!

    • BAHHHH HA HA HA HA AH! That’s about as funny as me fligging chicken across Whole Foods the other day and pretending like it didn’t happen, only to step backwards and trip over the piece of chicken and fall on my BOOTY. A-MAZING!!!

  23. My husband grows jalapenos and even habaneros in the garden, I could tell ya stories! Thanks for linking up to #LOBS!

  24. My husband got pepper in his eye last week. “Oh, the burning!” He yelled. I cannot imagine. He’s always so careful when cutting hot peppers to not touch the kids or their food!

    • You don’t even want to imagine the pain, lol!! Always wear gloves and goggles with dealing with them. Better yet, wear a HAZMAT suit! LOL!

  25. I have been bullied and I have been the bully-er, and neither of the experiences bring back very positive memories.

    I am now a firm believer in karma and therefore I try to spread the love as often as possible.

    And I’ve never squirted a pepper in my eye but I have gotten sand, hair spray, and even paint shot into my eyeballs…all of which were very painful and not pretty. As you can imagine, I’m very clumsy!

  26. I rubbed chilli up my nose once by mistake as a kid. Not fun.
    #FriendlyFriday

  27. No joke – I have a box of disposable kitchen gloves under my sink for this exact reason. Pepper seeds are nothing to mess around with. Thanks for sharing with us at #LOBS!!!!

  28. Yikes that doesn’t sound fun! Peppers are crazy strong. I’ve experienced a milder version of pepper in the eye, and oh was it painful! I still love Mexican food and hot sauce though! :)