I’ve been keeping a secret from all of all of you.
I don’t typically share much about my personal life, but I just had to get it off my chest. Perhaps it will help with “closure”.
I had been dating a public figure for the past nine months.
Key word: HAD.
Unfortunately, our relationship recently fizzled. He turned out to be
the BIGGEST TOOL in the box!
In order to sooth the “pain” of my severed relationship, the Food Pervert thought it would be best to drown my sorrows in… What else, FOOD! She is pretty perverted in that department after all.
Fluffy carbohydrates and silky smooth fat are utter perfection when it comes to cheering up those “down in the dumps” feelings, right?
That’s why Tara and I decided to make bagels and cream cheese… From scratch!
To hell with all my intolerances and allergies, I am sinking my teeth into sadness slaying refined carbohydrates!
- I wasn’t dating a public figure, hell I haven’t been in a relationship in: Okay, I’ll keep that one a secret – Ha Ha!
- Drowning your sorrows with food is NOT a healthy way to get over an ex.
- We didn’t actually make bagels and cream cheese… Check out the latest video for what we ACTUALLY MADE!
Holy (MEAT) Bagels… Batman!! HA! See what I did there??
So how can YOU recreate these mirror images of the real deal? Below is what you need!
- 1.25 Ground Turkey Meat
- 2 Tbs Cilantro
- 1 Tbs Egg Whites (can be omitted)
- 3/4 Tbs Paprika
- 1/2 Tbs Garlic
- 1 Tsp Black Pepper
For the “Cream Cheese”:
- 1/4 Head Cauliflower
- 1 Medium Parsnip
- 3 Tbs Chicken or Vegetable Broth
- 1/2 Tbs Garlic
- 1 Tsp Salt
- 1 Tsp Pepper
1. Mix the meat, cilantro, egg whites, garlic, paprika and pepper together.
2. Mold into a bagel pan and bake in oven set at 380 degrees for 20 minutes.
3. When meat cooks, steam cauliflower and parsnips (6 minutes). Then blend with chicken broth until smooth.
4. When meat it done, let cool for a minute, then smear the cauliflower and parsnip puree on one “side” and top with the other meat bagel half!
5. You can get pervy too and add extras like bacon, avocado and tomatoes!
SO TELL ME…
- What kind of bagel do you do back flips for?
- Do you think Zac Efron and I would make a cute couple?
- Who do you think the biggest TOOL in Hollywood is?
- Have you ever had a parsnip before? I never had one prior to this creation!
- When you’re feeling a little dejected, how do you cheer yourself up?
- Would you eat at Tara and my Meat Bagel shop? What kind of bagel would you order?