I’m really not one to gossip…
I mean… Jimmy’s impotence and the fact that he still sleeps with a blankie (even though he just turned 35 years old) don’t need to be broadcast over the Internets. And the details of Sally’s insanely botched boob job or the fact that she’s sleeping with her boss who happens to be 15 years younger than her, really don’t need to travel through the web either…
Welp… Since I am already airing out some wet laundry… Why don’t I just give you all the tasty details about the latest love-affair happening in Hollywood.
Don’t worry ladies, it doesn’t include Zac Efron… I do believe he’s still on the market.
Uhhh. Wait. Huh?
What the $#%^ does me eating have to do with anything gossip related. It’s NO SECRET that I love to pound food in my face at all hours of the day.
Oh. Hmm… Well, then HOLD UP!
I guess I am not about to lay any such juicy secret details on you…
See! I told you, gossiping is really NOT MY STYLE.
I’d much rather flirt with food… And this flirtation has led to the latest Hollywood love-affair I mentioned earlier…
Between me and NOM*.
Now before all of you click X in your upper right or left-hand corner because you just cannot handle ANOTHER social media site… Why don’t you DELETE SnapChat and then hear me out, especially if you’re drawn to juicy food porn.
NOM allows you to broadcast your foodventures LIVE to anyone who’s watching (it’s similar to Periscope but is centralized around food… Yes, I understand that I have said that about five times now)!
- If you’re eating something this very second… You could be (broadcast) NOMMING right now.
- Writing your grocery list? NOM IT!
- Stuck in an extra long line at Starbucks and want to freak the frappuccino out… Well, NOM could certainly be your outlet.
My shtick on NOM though: Showing all those who give a pickle… How to order allergen-friendly meals at restaurants!
Although… Me ranting as I wait in long lines for food when I am HANGRY AS FACK could be quite comical… Perhaps I should start another channel!
So now you’ve heard the deets…
I flirt… And then NOM (allergen-friendly but of course) my way through bars, fast food joints, drive-thrus, diners, fancy pants restaurants, saloons, dives, cafeterias, chop houses, greasy spoons… You get the idea… Showing all of you that having food allergies and intolerances doesn’t mean those with them are destine to nosh on bland and boring food for the rest of their lives!
WHAT UP SHAWARMA!
FOLLOW ALONG WITH ME… Who knows WHAT might fly out of my mouth…
So Tell Me...
- What is the funniest, most ridiculous rumor that’s ever been spread about you?
- NO MORE SOCIAL MEDIA SITES (after NOM)… Who’s with me?
- What was the most absurd thing you heard someone else say while waiting in line?
- What restaurants would you like to see me go to and why?
- Are you going to start your own NOM channel? If so, what will your angle be?
- Have you ever been to RED LOBSTER?!