If duck-billed platypi could talk… They’d probably tell you that I am a Shetland pony-sized azure-colored sparkling mystical unicorn who comes up with the most repulsive sounding and looking recipes that actually taste quite scrumptious…
Cause they’ve tried my concoctions before?
Does anyone know if Food Network is casting for a new show called: WORLD’S UGLIEST RECIPE MAKER… Because IF THEY ARE, someone alert me! HOT DAMN, I need to audition.
That being said, the latest repulsive-looking recipes my stunning unicorn-ass made, are comprised solely of the SUPERHEROES I mentioned in my last post… And if you’ve ever seen a superhero movie… (Ahem, did you see Captain America: Civil War this past weekend?) You know, when superheroes come together to fight off EVILS… They’re not exactly about to perform in an elegant ballet.
Same can be said about me in the kitchen.
In case you were wondering… My mom is beyond proud of her INSANELY classy mythical beast of a daughter.
I drown my “sorrows” in sarcasm.
That being said, I THINK I am going to turn her thoughts about me around with one of the two #StrangeButGood (Laura, yes, you inspired me) recipes I am about to reveal to all of you, as she ADORES the main ingredient in one of them!
Thankfully she doesn’t care at all WHAT food looks like!
Sure, you could scroll for DAYS through Instagram and Pinterest looking at CAPTIVATINGLY NAUGHTY FOOD PORN you’d like to shovel in your trap… But you should really be thinking about the HEALTH BENEFITS such porn will provide you if consumed.
I’d be BAMBOOZLED A.F. if THIS…
Was found to CURE CANCER!
STOP!!!! I DID NOT SAY THAT X-RATED GOOEY CARMEL, PEANUT BUTTER CUP, CHOCOLATE FROZEN HUNK OF PASTRY ANNIHILATES CANCER!
DROP YOUR CAR KEYS and instead WATCH the latest GiGi Eats that incorporates some SEXY SUPERHEROES (ahem, superfoods that could POTENTIALLY have the ability to ward off cancer) into what duck-billed platypi call SCRUMPTIOUS!
SUPERHERO SUPERFOOD SALADS
When superheroes collide…
- 1 cup Spiderman, divided (Spaghetti Squash)
- 1/2 cup Vision, divided (shredded Red Cabbage)
- 1 Black Panter, divided (Avocado)
- 2 Hawkeyes (Eggs)
- 2 oz Falcon (shredded Chicken) OR War Machine (Sardines)
- Salt & Pepper to taste
Toss Those Salads…
- Divide the spaghetti squash, vision, black panther and hawkeye into two (i.e. 1/2 cup of spaghetti squash in one bowl and 1/2 cup into another bowl, etc).
- Once you have divided all ingredients into separate bowls, add chicken into one bowl and sardines into another and mash combos up!
- Add salt and pepper to taste (you can certainly add other herbs and spices if you so wish) and chow down!
- WARNING: you may adopt some superhuman powers after you devour these!
SO TELL ME…
- Have you ever seen a duck-billed platypus in real life before?
- Is your mom proud of you?
- What’s the grossest combo of food you’ve ever mixed together yet it turned out tasting delicious?
- Did you see Captain America: Civil War? Thoughts?
- Anyone else have weird chicken cravings, like me?