Chinese Take Out, Made In

Chinese Take-Out, Made In

When your friends flake on plans like dandruff. When your Tinder date ghosts you even before you meet for the first time at that seedy bar. When your boss’s bitchy minion sucks as being a human being. When your husband plans poker night with the boys on your anniversary (THANK GOODNESS you can return that uncomfortably promiscuous strappy body suit, am I right?). When your wife still goes for pedicures and manicures with the girls even though you gifted her with [Read On!]

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HOT DOG! These Are Good!

FishDogs-PoultryDogs

The dog days of SUMMER… Woof. It’s a universal truth that… SUMMER… SOOOOOO hot right now. I bet those Jenner girls along with their ridiculously “caked” minions are all TOTES JELLY of SUMMER… Because she is just naturally hot. I wonder if these “asselfie”-taking obsessed ladies would be jealous of me around this time of year too because when the heat from the sweltering sun gets to me, I tend to turn into a pissed-off double-humped camel… And you know, camels [Read On!]

A-dory-bly FIN-TASTIC Favorite, Made At Home

Finding-Dory-Goldfish

This may come as a SHOCK but… When I go into the kitchen to conceive a recipe… I tend to act like Dory. You know… Dory. Now stop giving your computer screen that “I don’t know WTF GiGi is talking about ONCE AGAIN“ look… You know, the bug-eyed, blue and yellow tang fish that has short term memory. The little, happy-go-lucky paracanthurus hepatus that’s voiced by Ellen Degeneres. Ringing any bells now? Well… If those hints don’t turn on the [Read On!]

Teenage Mutant Mint Chip Ice Cream

Teenage_Mutant_Ninja_Ice_Cream

Michelangelo, Leonardo, Donatello and Raphael would most certainly be exorbitantly flabbergasted by the absolute inventive brilliance I am about to reveal to you. That’s because the creation is engineered and sculpted to the highest degree of perfection. I have a SLIGHT feeling Leonardo would have said: Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication… If he had the chance to gaze upon the masterpiece. And Donatello might have actually wanted to hire me (or Vianessa, who helped me in the kitchen this week) as one of [Read On!]

Crushing On A Cuisine

Chicken_Shawarma_Hummus

I am absolutely in love with… Joe. He is insanely robust and tantalizing… HUBBA. HUBBA. You might be a bit taken aback by my aroused confession (and possibly confused by the swirling hunk of awesome above) considering at this point you probably all know that I have a fella in my life that ain’t your average Joe… He’s wayyyyyyyy above average But don’t be… Because he and I have a very open relationship… WHEN IT COMES TO FOOD that is! [Read On!]

Superheroes Making Salads In The Kitchen

SuperheroSuperfoodSalads

If duck-billed platypi could talk… They’d probably tell you that I am a Shetland pony-sized azure-colored sparkling mystical unicorn who comes up with the most repulsive sounding and looking recipes that actually taste quite scrumptious… Cause they’ve tried my concoctions before?   Does anyone know if Food Network is casting for a new show called: WORLD’S UGLIEST RECIPE MAKER… Because IF THEY ARE, someone alert me! HOT DAMN, I need to audition. That being said, the latest repulsive-looking recipes my stunning [Read On!]

Marvel Over These Superhero Superfoods

Captain-America-Civil-War-GiGi-Eats-Celebrities

I may have cork-screwed myself off many big air jumps, popped off of half-pipe lips and thrown myself down cliff drops in the past… I may have even tamed bucking broncos back in the day… And currently… I may even be in a constant barbarous battle between my forever arch nemesis… But even though my past and present pursuits sound straight out of a Marvel Comic… They actually don’t even come THE TINIEST BIT CLOSE to say… Captain America having to live in [Read On!]

Nom On Food Porn

GiGi-Eats-Nom

I’m really not one to gossip… I mean… Jimmy’s impotence and the fact that he still sleeps with a blankie (even though he just turned 35 years old) don’t need to be broadcast over the Internets. And the details of Sally’s insanely botched boob job or the fact that she’s sleeping with her boss who happens to be 15 years younger than her, really don’t need to travel through the web either… Oh. Wait…. WHOOPS. Welp… Since I am already airing out [Read On!]

We’re “Pretty Happy” About These Recipe!

Salmon and Hummus

What if I told you that the Food Pervert and I went to a star-studded Hollywood event the other night… Where we chatted with the swoon-worthy Kate Hudson… Who was wearing a salmon-colored, glute-highlighting dress (oh you want to know the brand? Yeah, F that… You came to the WRONG website if you want to know about fashion…), accented with emerald green drop earrings and bright yellow pumps. <—  Just had to emphasize this fashion statement…  Sure, this sounds like a mishmash [Read On!]

You’ll Flip Over These Sweet Pancake Recipes!

Sweet Potato Pancakes

I ran into an “arch nemesis”* I’ve had, since I was running around in Huggies, the other day at the grocery store. Literally… Ran into. I caused a bit of a scene, actually. A few tomatoes sadly met their demise.  Clearly I am as suave as a bat. Anywho… This “enemy” of mine, with a rather interesting orangy-brown tan, I might add, just stared at me, with what seemed like an almost terrified expression… As if I might attack. My facial expressions [Read On!]

Avocados Get Brownie Points

Bitchin Brownie Blondie Hybrid

Riddle me this… What’s dark brown… Moist… And can be rather dense. Really… Did your mind REALLY… Just go there. HOW OLD ARE YOU?! Let’s practice some maturity people! So no. I am NOT talking about THAT. Get your mind out of the shitter. Literally? Now while you have probably completely lost your appetite at this point, thinking about… Well… YOU KNOW… I am going to try my best to bring it on back! Did that help? Eh, you’re probably now [Read On!]