An apple, a stalk of celery and a pear walk into a gym class… Nicki and I work out in the same kicks! The apple turns to the celery and says, “you’re such a stalker”… The pear yells over to the apple… “Don’t have a pest…icide!!!” Okay, honestly, I have no idea where I am going with this. Kind of like a bulk of the stories I tell… I was trying to be all clever and come up with some [Read On!]
Award Season may be LONG GONE but… NOT FOR ME (and maybe YOU TOO)! Kacie of Savvy, Sassy Me and Danielle of It’s A Harleyy Life nominated my scrumptious blog for AWARDS! Since they nominated me for two DIFFERENT awards, I went ahead and created an entirely NEW AWARD: The “I’m FRIGGIN’ AMAZING Award” or the “FRAMAZING” award for short! Typically when you’re nominated, you have to write out a few facts about yourself… but I decided to make a [Read On!]
Are YOU guilty of making this ice cream order? “I would love three scoops of chocolate chip cookie dough, topped off with some rainbow sprinkles (yep, I totally did that), peanut butter cups… and oh, oh some whipped cream too!” You might as well have asked… “I would love three scoops of cardiovascular disease, topped off with some diabetes, tooth decay and… oh, oh some liver failure too!” Mmmm liver failure! If that’s not enough to make you drop the drumstick… [Read On!]
F#$%@*&%!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Swimsuit season… I guess I need to start a few work out programs! Excuse my random outburst… It must have happened because I am extremely HANGRY due to the fact that swimsuit season is pretty much here (well in LA that is)… And I am starving myself so as to look like Adriana Lima in ass floss and nipple tassels. Wait, is that a burlap sack? Okay, I am actually NOT starving myself (or wearing what a showgirl might [Read On!]
Watch out for T-Rex! Oh wait… Excuse me… Separated at birth, don’t you think? You know what these two pissed off carnivores need? Saffron! Okay random… Yes, I am talking about that fiery red spice that rapes your wallet when you buy it at the store… M***** F*****! Saffron better be worth it! Well, we all know that Mr. Trump’s wallet can handle the cost, so he better purchase the spice ASAP and perhaps sprinkle some in Mr. Rex’s [Read On!]
Sorry to disappoint but I couldn’t find Chelsea’s first stand-up comedy show on YouTube, but I can imagine it looks a little like the video I posted below – AKA: a train crashing into a beached whale in the middle of Siberia. (How did a whale get to Siberia? Exactly.) Anyways… What do Dane Cook, Kevin Hart and I have in common? Well not a whole hell of a lot… Except, we have all stood on stage in front [Read On!]
Since moving to Los Angeles I really cannot tell the different between Spring, Fall, Winter and Summer! Seriously, if you come to Los Angeles in December, you might even find me trotting around the city in a bikini. Does that entice you to get on Orbitz and book a flight? You totally thought I was going to post a picture of me in a bikini now didn’t you! Regardless of my inability to tell whether it’s winter or summer, I [Read On!]
This might come as a huge shock to you but Angelina Jolie and Kale are related… How exactly? Well… It all started when the earth condensed from a cloud of gas and rock in the solar system…. Or maybe you like to believe that the world was created in seven days by God…? Okay, to make a LONGGGGGGG story short (and less controversial), why don’t you just watch the latest GiGi Eats video! Anyone [Read On!]
Anne Hathaway is currently on her seventh White Castle Burger… Conquering this mound may be harder on your body than climbing K2! And Jennifer Lawrence has been camping out at In & Out Burger for the past few days… Wait, that’s definitely not on the secret menu… Why exactly? BECAUSE AWARD SEASON IS OVER! Screw you SPAX… Suck on that Valentino… Oh and Giorgio… EAT IT! Target-brand elastic waistband sweats and… okay… over priced plain white Versace t-shirt, here celebs [Read On!]
Are your eyes going cross-eyed as you try to focus on your computer screen, the stop light ahead of you or your kids playing in the jungle gym…? (Whoops, did little Harry just fall SPLAT on the ground?) Are you getting irritated by even the slightest of noises? (That coworker or dog better STOP breathing!) Is that black dot on the ceiling transforming into a scrumptious chocolate chip? (Wow, now you’re in Willy Wanka’s Chocolate Factory!) You don’t need WebMD [Read On!]
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