Baring It All, Burger Style

Wild Board Burger Wrap 1

Prepare yourself because… I’m about to BARE IT ALL… Uhhhh……  Well that’s one way to reveal that I’ll be featured in Maxim Magazine‘s March edition.  YOU WISH? But not quite… AH! That’s more like it! BEHOLD: Some naked wild boar meat… My apologizes if you were looking for something a little more risqué.  How about ground goat meat then?  Okay I will stop making you drool (or gag if you’re vegetarian? ha!) and get to the point…   There’s this burger joint… Called BareBurger, that truly [Read On!]

T-Rex Take Out, A Thanksgiving Appetizer


Hey YOU over there… Yep, I am talking to you… With that frozen 20 pounds turkey carcass wedged under your arm… That five-pound bag of yams slung over your shoulder… And those stalks of Brussels sprouts sticking out of your grocery bag like samurai swords… I just wanted to let you know that it looks like you may have sat on one of your bags filled with cranberries because your butt is a slightly purplish red hue. Well now that you have [Read On!]

A Tricked-Out Tastebud Treat


Leeches suck… Too gross to post a photo…  But I dare you to CLICK HERE Babies suck… I am a very proud Aunt…  Vacuums suck… This dog totally has the right idea… Easy girls (and boys?) suck… Not ashamed of speaking the truth! And you want to know what else… SUCKS? HALLOWEEN. Sorry Britt Yep. I friggin’ hate the day where EVERYONE dresses up like something sexy. A sexy pirate…  A sexy board game… A sexy urinal… And then galavant around [Read On!]

A Pie That Will Make You Cream


Pumpkin called me bitching the other day… He’s apparently straight up exhausted from being used. Used in pies, lattes, cookies, waffles, soups, chips, dips, sauces, cakes… EVERYTHING. Perhaps Pumpkin needs a pumpkin energy bar…?  Har… Har…  My advice to him: “SUCK IT UP [pumpkin] CUPCAKE! It’s only the end of September… If you’re already feeling HOLLOW now… You’re going to be one BITTER MELON come November… And no one wants a SOUR PIE!” Clearly I am extremely sympathetic and supportive (and the [Read On!]

The “I Literally Can’t Even” Latte


BREAKING NEWS: Cranky Older Woman in Ugg Boots Body Slams Two Innocent Coffee Goers After She Suspected They Swiped Her Pumpkin Spice Latte LOS ANGELES – With utter rage in her eyes, Maude Henry, 68, of Hollywood, California hurled two innocent customers (names withheld) onto the floor at a Starbucks at Sunset and Gower after suspecting one of them took her Pumpkin Spice Latte. “Hoodwinks! HOODWINKS I TELL YOU,” Maude shrieked as she was dragged, losing one of her sheepskin Ugg (UGH) boots in [Read On!]