Recipe Redux: Lets Go Skinny Dipping!

Eggplant, Artichoke and Coriander Dip

I recently got in trouble with the law… Now while my parents aren’t exactly PROUD of me for this… I think I might actually hang my mug shot on the wall… As you can see by my booking photo, I was caught skinny dipping…  But Justin Bieber made me do it!! Ugh, the peer pressure of Hollywood… I cannot believe he and I could get in trouble for going nude, but… Nicki Minaji can get away with wearing this monstrosity. Is [Read On!]

Gobble Up These Turbutkles!

Turkey, Butternut Squash and Kale Bites

Do you suffer from, Brumotactillophobia or…  In other words: do you FLIP OUT if any food on your plate touches? Well then… The following (and then some) are not your friends: Chili Fruit at the Bottom Yogurt Katy Perry Scrambled Eggs Tacos Stir Fries Nicki Minaj Anything Made on The Food Network Channel Thanksgiving Dinner My Refrigerator  And…  Turbutkle Bites Phew! It’s a good thing I don’t have such a phobia or else I would DEFINITELY starve to death… I would never dance like a stripper [Read On!]

Bodacious Body Types!

Cute Cat Looking In Mirror, Sees Lion

An apple, a stalk of celery and a pear walk into a gym class… Nicki and I work out in the same kicks! The apple turns to the celery and says, “you’re such a stalker”… The pear yells over to the apple… “Don’t have a pest…icide!!!” Okay, honestly, I have no idea where I am going with this. Kind of like a bulk of the stories I tell… I was trying to be all clever and come up with some [Read On!]

Donald Duck, It’s Time To Put Your Pants On

220px-stop_sign_mutcd-svg

Indecent Exposure. X-Rated Displays. Salacious Exhibition. Pant-less in a Public Setting. These are problems/issues that have plagued American society for years. I must apologize in advance for this tangent, but this issue was brought to my attention while idling in Los Angeles traffic, by a rather astute gentleman, who most certainly wears pants, my brother. When moving through traffic that moves about as slow as lava flowing up hill, you need something to talk about or else you will go crazy! In [Read On!]

White Candy Only

justin-bieber-selena-gomez-movie-date-500x333

“Get me four bottles of the priciest champagne, eight packs of Chiclets, but only the pink pieces and nine and a half boxes of peanut butter chocolate filled Twinkies.” “I’m pretty sure Chiclets have been discontinued. And peanut butter chocolate filled Twinkies? Those don’t exist…” “Excuse me. Didn’t your resume say you were a magician? You will conjure up some pink Chiclets. And as for the Twinkies, call up the Hostess plant and ask them to make me some peanut [Read On!]