Will He Swallow? A Protein Powder Taste Test…

protein-powder-taste-test

There are plenty of fish in the sea. Or so the saying goes. THANKFULLY and LUCKILY I can now say that on my last fishing trip… I hooked me a biggie. Photo by Cary Pennington And we all know at this point how much I LOVE fish! Now this same cliche… That gives all single men and women a twinge of hope, that they won’t wind up yelling at noisy hoodlums and retiring in Florida alone, as they cast their [Read On!]

Not Zipping My Lips Over This!

Dairy, Gluten, Soy, Sugar, Nut, Fruit- Free

This shop has been compensated by Collective Bias, Inc. and its advertiser. All opinions are mine alone. #ZiplocBackToSchool #CollectiveBias    I am not one to zip and lock my lips… Ever. In other words, I “suffer” from what you might call, “word vomit,” much to my mother’s chagrin. I could blame genetics… But I mean, I won’t? So when there are thoughts/ideas swimming through my mind, my mouth fires them out like cannon balls. Anyone cannon ball into a pool yet this summer? [Read On!]

A Totally Puréed Smoothie Battle

Smoothie-Challenge-Smoothie

There are only a few things in life I would consider challenging. Building an entire house, during the middle of winter, in Alaska, with one arm tied behind my back. Going duck hunting with a blow dart while also blind folded. Driving to Santa Monica, California from Hollywood, at 5:15pm. Jumping out of a plane with a battery powdered hot plate and then asked to cook fried rice. Holding a baby… I promise I will stop calling it “it”… I promise [Read On!]

WTF DO YOU WANT?!

GiGi-Eats-Holiday-Gift-Guide

But seriously… What the fuck heck is on your holiday gift list. There is probably nothing worse than having NOT EVEN ONE TINY LITTLE IOTA OF AN IDEA as to what to get your significant other, family member or even just your friend (yes, this is even worse than having explosive diarrhea for 10 straight days…)… As a gift. I mean… After all, these are the people you’re suppose to know more than anyone else… Right? Well shit. If they’re CLAIMING they [Read On!]

What A Hunky Flower!

NOatmeal-Paleo

There is a butternut squash on my floor… Vegan protein powder scattered all over my counter, coconut oil in my mouth and a bag of frozen cauliflower melting… Oh crap… Still in the car! Do you realize what this means? If your guess is… “you must have pregnancy brain…” Well you are EXTREMELY FAR from being right… OR if your guess is… “you have $2.99 melting in the back seat of your car…” Okay, technically, yes, you’re correct.  However, if your guess [Read On!]

A Pie That Will Make You Cream

Strawberry-Pie

Pumpkin called me bitching the other day… He’s apparently straight up exhausted from being used. Used in pies, lattes, cookies, waffles, soups, chips, dips, sauces, cakes… EVERYTHING. Perhaps Pumpkin needs a pumpkin energy bar…?  Har… Har…  My advice to him: “SUCK IT UP [pumpkin] CUPCAKE! It’s only the end of September… If you’re already feeling HOLLOW now… You’re going to be one BITTER MELON come November… And no one wants a SOUR PIE!” Clearly I am extremely sympathetic and supportive (and the [Read On!]

The “I Literally Can’t Even” Latte

Healthy-Pumpkin-Spice-Latte-GiGi

BREAKING NEWS: Cranky Older Woman in Ugg Boots Body Slams Two Innocent Coffee Goers After She Suspected They Swiped Her Pumpkin Spice Latte LOS ANGELES – With utter rage in her eyes, Maude Henry, 68, of Hollywood, California hurled two innocent customers (names withheld) onto the floor at a Starbucks at Sunset and Gower after suspecting one of them took her Pumpkin Spice Latte. “Hoodwinks! HOODWINKS I TELL YOU,” Maude shrieked as she was dragged, losing one of her sheepskin Ugg (UGH) boots in [Read On!]

Whoopee! It’s an “Oreo”!

Oreo cookie - homemade and sugar free

A majority of college experiences include pulling… 1. The Matthew Mcconaughey – The act of experimenting with certain drugs… Resulting in stripping down naked, dancing around wildly while playing bongos only to shove a cop who came to the scene, after a noise complaint was filed… Consequently earning “silver cuffs”. 2. The David Hasselhoff – The act of imbibing far too much… Resulting in an epic video made of you making love to a gluttonous cheeseburger on the floor of your [Read On!]

Carnival In Your Mouth!

Sugar Free, Wheat Free Churros

STEP RIGHT UP… To see something astonishing, unusual and downright bizarre! No… I am not about to show you the inner workings of a medical spa where celebrities transform themselves into plastic bags filled with saline… I’m about to show you something absolutely drool-worthy and 100% sinless. I don’t think Janice Dickinson or Courtney Love qualify as such… Churros, anyone? I am of course NOT offering up the typical deep-fried pastry that is guaranteed to stop your heart… I actually re-created this CARNIVAL FAVORITE… [Read On!]

Recipe Redux: Lets Go Skinny Dipping!

Eggplant, Artichoke and Coriander Dip

I recently got in trouble with the law… Now while my parents aren’t exactly PROUD of me for this… I think I might actually hang my mug shot on the wall… As you can see by my booking photo, I was caught skinny dipping…  But Justin Bieber made me do it!! Ugh, the peer pressure of Hollywood… I cannot believe he and I could get in trouble for going nude, but… Nicki Minaji can get away with wearing this monstrosity. Is [Read On!]

A “Zesty” Take on Eclairs!

Paleo Pastries, an eclair recipe that is sugar, wheat, dairy, nut and soy free. This recipe can also be vegan and it uses NuZest protein powder.

As I have mentioned in previous posts, my mind… Is like a bowling ball in the gutter at a bowling alley. And when I think of the oh so flaky, yet thick and gooey éclair pastry… My mind throws gutter balls worse than a blindfolded kangaroo hopping on one foot would. I think the French created this pastry so my mind (and yours too?) can have immature field days whenever I think about this oblong, cream filled “delicacy”. However, as some of you [Read On!]