This ICE Is Nuts

COCONUT LIME POPSICLES

A lot of people think I am kind of nuts. My rebuttal to this claim is typically: If the saying, you are what you eat, holds true… Then I am 100% NOT nuts… Because I cannot eat them!  However… Some might consider coconut to be a nut (NEWSFLASH: it’s a fruit), and as you all may very well know at this point, coconut byproducts are my go-to staples for pretty much all of my recipes (although I have yet to make [Read On!]

Teenage Mutant Mint Chip Ice Cream

Teenage_Mutant_Ninja_Ice_Cream

Michelangelo, Leonardo, Donatello and Raphael would most certainly be exorbitantly flabbergasted by the absolute inventive brilliance I am about to reveal to you. That’s because the creation is engineered and sculpted to the highest degree of perfection. I have a SLIGHT feeling Leonardo would have said: Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication… If he had the chance to gaze upon the masterpiece. And Donatello might have actually wanted to hire me (or Vianessa, who helped me in the kitchen this week) as one of [Read On!]

Avocados Get Brownie Points

Bitchin Brownie Blondie Hybrid

Riddle me this… What’s dark brown… Moist… And can be rather dense. Really… Did your mind REALLY… Just go there. HOW OLD ARE YOU?! Let’s practice some maturity people! So no. I am NOT talking about THAT. Get your mind out of the shitter. Literally? Now while you have probably completely lost your appetite at this point, thinking about… Well… YOU KNOW… I am going to try my best to bring it on back! Did that help? Eh, you’re probably now [Read On!]

The Unicorn of Pumpkin Pies

white-pumpkin-pumpkin-pie-unicorn-pie

Recipe evolution is much like the game “Telephone”… Who else is now humming Lady Gaga’s song… SORRY! That recipe your mother or father passed down to you; may not be anything close to what the original recipe was. Great Grandma Gladice’s stick to your ribs stuffing very well may have included ham hocks way back when she was introduced to it, but her recipe you now make for your friends and family contains chicken feet instead. The same can be [Read On!]

A Tricked-Out Tastebud Treat

Healthy-Reeses-Pieces

Leeches suck… Too gross to post a photo…  But I dare you to CLICK HERE Babies suck… I am a very proud Aunt…  Vacuums suck… This dog totally has the right idea… Easy girls (and boys?) suck… Not ashamed of speaking the truth! And you want to know what else… SUCKS? HALLOWEEN. Sorry Britt Yep. I friggin’ hate the day where EVERYONE dresses up like something sexy. A sexy pirate…  A sexy board game… A sexy urinal… And then galavant around [Read On!]

Identity Crisis Cake Doughnuts

GiGi and Vianessa in the kitchen

This shop is part of a social shopper marketing insight campaign with Pollinate Media Group® and Pure Via®, but all my opinions are my own. #pmedia #PureViaSweet http://my-disclosur.es/OBsstV Some days I wake up in the morning and think I am Blake Lively. However, I am quickly reminded that I am not… When I turn over, trying to grab for Ryan Reynolds’ man boobs… Only to embrace… Filbert. I’m not the only one who sometimes thinks they’re something they’re actually not… This tomato thinks it’s [Read On!]

Recipe Redux: Lets Go Skinny Dipping!

Eggplant, Artichoke and Coriander Dip

I recently got in trouble with the law… Now while my parents aren’t exactly PROUD of me for this… I think I might actually hang my mug shot on the wall… As you can see by my booking photo, I was caught skinny dipping…  But Justin Bieber made me do it!! Ugh, the peer pressure of Hollywood… I cannot believe he and I could get in trouble for going nude, but… Nicki Minaji can get away with wearing this monstrosity. Is [Read On!]

A “Zesty” Take on Eclairs!

Paleo Pastries, an eclair recipe that is sugar, wheat, dairy, nut and soy free. This recipe can also be vegan and it uses NuZest protein powder.

As I have mentioned in previous posts, my mind… Is like a bowling ball in the gutter at a bowling alley. And when I think of the oh so flaky, yet thick and gooey éclair pastry… My mind throws gutter balls worse than a blindfolded kangaroo hopping on one foot would. I think the French created this pastry so my mind (and yours too?) can have immature field days whenever I think about this oblong, cream filled “delicacy”. However, as some of you [Read On!]

Recipe Redux: Get Chip-Faced with Chipkins

Pumpkin Chips, called Chipkins

Dehydration is never a good look in Hollywood…. Can you guess the fashion designer? I could have posted another photo of Tara Reid, but no need to “rib” on her again!   Or anywhere for that matter…  Is this normal? Cat people – weigh in…   EXCEPT for… THE KITCHEN! Uh, please do take a minute to check out this sensual food pornography…   Today I am serving up dehydrated pumpkin chips, or what I like to call CHIPKINS! It’s [Read On!]

Tara Reid Eats Too Many Creamsicles

Yay for healthy creamsicles!

Tara Reid and Creamsicles have a lot of similar not so sexy attributes… But to name just two… They’re both orange (most of the time)… And… They’re both full of artificial chemicals and ingredients. Sorry Tara, I just couldn’t resist. If the saying, “you are what you eat” is true… Then Tara must be subsisting solely on Creamsicles (okay, and maybe Cheetos as well). Sadly, I don’t think I will be able to save Tara from her demons, however, all is not lost for the [Read On!]

What The Fudge?

Fudgsicles have non-fat, hormone laden milk in them

Non-Organic, Non Grass-Fed, Non-Fat Milk… Ew… What the FUDGE! Maltodextrin… Der… What the FUDGE! Asparatame… Okay, SERIOUSLY… What the FUDGE! I am so over these pseudo low-fat “healthy treats” that trick people into buying them because of their flashy “I’m so healthy” labels/claims… I am over them as much as I am over hearing about Kim Kardashian posting ass provocative selfies on Instagram. I… GIVE… NO… FUDGES!!!! However, I do give fudges about ALL OF YOU who come hang out with me [Read On!]