We’re “Pretty Happy” About These Recipe!

Salmon and Hummus

What if I told you that the Food Pervert and I went to a star-studded Hollywood event the other night… Where we chatted with the swoon-worthy Kate Hudson… Who was wearing a salmon-colored, glute-highlighting dress (oh you want to know the brand? Yeah, F that… You came to the WRONG website if you want to know about fashion…), accented with emerald green drop earrings and bright yellow pumps. <—  Just had to emphasize this fashion statement…  Sure, this sounds like a mishmash [Read On!]

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You’ll Flip Over These Sweet Pancake Recipes!

Sweet Potato Pancakes

I ran into an “arch nemesis”* I’ve had, since I was running around in Huggies, the other day at the grocery store. Literally… Ran into. I caused a bit of a scene, actually. A few tomatoes sadly met their demise.  Clearly I am as suave as a bat. Anywho… This “enemy” of mine, with a rather interesting orangy-brown tan, I might add, just stared at me, with what seemed like an almost terrified expression… As if I might attack. My facial expressions [Read On!]

Avocados Get Brownie Points

Bitchin Brownie Blondie Hybrid

Riddle me this… What’s dark brown… Moist… And can be rather dense. Really… Did your mind REALLY… Just go there. HOW OLD ARE YOU?! Let’s practice some maturity people! So no. I am NOT talking about THAT. Get your mind out of the shitter. Literally? Now while you have probably completely lost your appetite at this point, thinking about… Well… YOU KNOW… I am going to try my best to bring it on back! Did that help? Eh, you’re probably now [Read On!]

Attacking The Snack… This Junk Foodie Taste Tests “Healthy” Snacks

healthy food taste test

There is no doubt in my mind that when you wander through the aisles of your local grocery store… You wonder if… You’ll see a completely HAMMERED Tony the Tiger juggling bananas while jumping on a trampoline. Oh wait… Just me? But in all “seriousness”… You probably ponder… Whether or not that bag of eye-catching chocolate covered “skinny” popcorn is actually tasty… If you should risk it and buy that fruit and grain no-mess snack for the moments when you’re stuck in traffic [Read On!]

Making Meatzas With Molly Sims

PicMonkey Collage Meatza

So you think supermodels don’t eat. HOWEVER…  That FORK is WORKING IT into Kate Moss‘s mouth! Tyra Banks is MAKING LOVE to the Twinkie… Alessandra Ambrosio is “tearing the sheet” out of those fries and steak! The Food Pervert and I… Auditioning for the next Carl’s Jr ad? Clearly… Supermodels eat. Wait… You didn’t know Pervy and I are supermodels? Were you born yesterday?  Tee He He. Welp… I guess if you were… Then I am going to have to introduce you [Read On!]

You should CARROT About This Cake Cookies!

Zootopia-Carrot-Cake-Cookies

If we had it our way… We would live in UTOPIA… A world in which everything is perfect. Sure, the word PERFECT is a relative term… But in general… I’d hope we’d all want (aside from the above)… For someone to invent a bed that makes itself.  A mute button for THAT person who just won’t STFU! That “special” someone in your life to offer up his/her back massage “services” and not ask for anything in return.  Bottles to not be shaped [Read On!]

Don’t Do That! Do This!

Salmon-Skin-Asparagus-1

I bet you’re guilty of doing something this past week that… I find to be a complete and utter TRAVESTY… Something that actually might even bring me TO TEARS. And let me tell you… It’s easier to bring the Mona Lisa to tears than it is me. Did you happen to roast, grill, bake, sauté, or even poach in the dishwasher, salmon, this past week… Then… Cram it in your mouth with a huge, happy smirk on your face… Only to… DISPOSE OF ITS SKIN?!? [Read On!]

Baring It All, Burger Style

Wild Board Burger Wrap 1

Prepare yourself because… I’m about to BARE IT ALL… Uhhhh……  Well that’s one way to reveal that I’ll be featured in Maxim Magazine‘s March edition.  YOU WISH? But not quite… AH! That’s more like it! BEHOLD: Some naked wild boar meat… My apologizes if you were looking for something a little more risqué.  How about ground goat meat then?  Okay I will stop making you drool (or gag if you’re vegetarian? ha!) and get to the point…   There’s this burger joint… Called BareBurger, that truly [Read On!]

(Not A) Fashion Faux Pas-ta Puttanesca

Faux-Pasta-Puttanesca

My kitchen resembles that of a ZOO most of the time…  So it was almost MANDATORY that I be invited to a prescreening of the new ZOOlander movie. See what I did there?  During the movie, there were MANY O’ fishy faces made… Just another similarity to my kitchen, perhaps?  Along with TONS of visual stimulation, including… The ludicrous fashion statements Mugatu and Alexanya Atoz’s make out session Penelope Cruz’s… High beams?  The death of Justin Bieber Zoolander‘s son’s hair And the fact that…   THIS [Read On!]

Fon-Doing With PlantFusion

Plant-Fusion-Fondue-Sauces

“How are you fon… Doing?” While this may sound like a cheesy pick-up line… I am quite confident that I did in fact get your attention… So really, do tell me: “how are you fon-doing?!” With strawberries? Waffles? Marshmallows? Bacon? …? While all of those ideas sounds utterly mouthwatering… In order to keep this blog rated PG (for the most part at least)… How about I offer you something else to use as a chocolate fondue sauce vehicle… That is a little less “naughty” [Read On!]

A Totally Puréed Smoothie Battle

Smoothie-Challenge-Smoothie

There are only a few things in life I would consider challenging. Building an entire house, during the middle of winter, in Alaska, with one arm tied behind my back. Going duck hunting with a blow dart while also blind folded. Driving to Santa Monica, California from Hollywood, at 5:15pm. Jumping out of a plane with a battery powdered hot plate and then asked to cook fried rice. Holding a baby… I promise I will stop calling it “it”… I promise [Read On!]