I am almost speechless…
Emphasis on the word ALMOST…
Because let’s be real… I ALWAYS find my words… And then it takes a trip like going to Africa… To shut me up for a hot minute… Until I find THE WiFi!
Now the reason behind my “lack of words” is due to the fact that I am so FORKING excited to be back.
Oh… I see I lost some followers, well shit farts.
Ha! Well… Really, the FORKS I give are MICROSCOPIC… Much like a Dick Dick… Because what’s REALLY IMPORTANT is knowing what I missed people!
Laura, did you eat yours and my body weight in sushi over this past month? Brittany, you climb Mt. Everest yet? Tim, did you steal any giraffes from the zoo when I was gone? Oh and WHO GOT AN AIR-FRYER as a holiday GIFT?! Update me in the comments below because I feel as though I have been gone for EONS.
Funnily enough, my adventures in Africa actually DID feel like they went on for eons. I would be lying if I said I didn’t at times (like when I was walking back to my tent in order to take a BUCKET SHOWER) count down the days until I could come back home.
Yep. I said it. Going to Africa was not EXACTLY my favorite excursion, but the adventures I had during said trip with my husband (oh, “THAT’S AMAZING”… Tucker Rumpleton), those cannot be beat, and lets just say, even though there were LOTS of dull moments during said trip… There was really never a dull moment. Ever.
I mean, have you seen my husband? NEVER. A. DULL. MOMENT.
So… Er, um… How many of you want to feed me to a hungry group of crocodiles for saying that I didn’t have the most EPIC OF TIMES hanging out with crazy apes and my beloved giraffes in Africa?! And how many of you think I am a snooty bitch for… Um, BEING HONEST?
Exactly. I am just being honest. While Africa wasn’t my favorite travel experience (I am EXTREMELY thankful to have been blessed with lots of travel experiences from around the world and many more to come… Ahem, New Zealand and Australia again in May)… I never said it was the worst episode of my life… And in fact, there were tons of attributes of the trip that I would GLADLY gloat about… But gloating is an unattractive trait, or at least I think so.
So instead of me describing how friggin’ phenomenal the camps we stayed at in Laikipia, Kenya and Mara North, Kenya were and how the food they served up was above and beyond the best food I have ever eaten while traveling… I will let my non-bias YouTube videos do all of this for me… Because it’s me, so OF COURSE I filmed LOTS of video (3 hours worth to be exact) of the entire experience! Don’t worry though, I edited all this video content into three, 8 – 15 minute videos**, although I must admit, the three hours I filmed were far more engaging and entertaining than King Kong: Skull Island (which was three hours and twenty-one minutes).
Sadly David Attenborough isn’t narrating the content I collected. I can only imagine Sir David saying the word, “boner”. Which brings me to a tiny little disclaimer, if you’re new here, that is… I cuss like a sailor and my linguistics can be rather raunchy at times. So if you’re sensitive to such commentary, I advise you listen to this series of videos with the volume turned down low.
** Yes, I made 3 videos showcasing what we did on our Africa safari, but more videos will be created around the trip… Including one that details EXACTLY WHY Africa doesn’t rank very high on the list of FAVORITE places I have been… SOOOO YIPPEEEEEEE FOR EVERYONE!
SO TELL ME…
- Did you miss me?
- How did you fill your GiGi-void when I was away?
- Have you ever been on a Safari? Tell me your experience!
- No but seriously, tell me… Did you get an air-fryer as a holiday gift?
- Do you appreciate my honesty or do you think I am being a bratty bitch?
- Are you excited for my Africa-themed videos?!
- Do you want to go on a safari? If so… See below:
Where We Stayed:
Who Set Up The ENTIRE Excursion for Us: