Teenage Mutant Mint Chip Ice Cream

Michelangelo, Leonardo, Donatello and Raphael would most certainly be exorbitantly flabbergasted by the absolute inventive brilliance I am about to reveal to you.

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That’s because the creation is engineered and sculpted to the highest degree of perfection.

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I have a SLIGHT feeling Leonardo would have said: Simplicity is the ultimate sophisticationIf he had the chance to gaze upon the masterpiece.

And Donatello might have actually wanted to hire me (or Vianessa, who helped me in the kitchen this week) as one of his sculpting assistants.

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But uh… Yeahhhhh. This is GiGi Eats CelebritiesNot GiGi Eats Polymaths… So, er, um… I am actually not talking about THOSE gifted gentlemen…

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The dudes I am really talking about: those anthropomorphic green “guys”… That you might find in a tank at the pet store … However, in this case, you’d find them in a sewer, scarfing down a crap ton of oddly-topped pizzas.

TMNT-Pizza

The Leonardo I am actually talking about would probably say upon seeing my “kitchen procreation”: COWABUNGA! 

And Donatello would most likely be jealous because he’s known for being the one to invent complete and utter “awesomeness” and this time… I beat him to it!

If you want to know exactly what the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles wished they could order as a topping for one of their pizza creations [Hint, Hint DOMINO’S]… Well, watch the radical recipe get WHIPPED UP below! 

TEENAGE Mutant Mint Chip Ice Cream

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WHAT are you waiting for? Get your ice cream maker…

  • Freeze ice cream maker bowl for roughly 18 to 24 hours prior to making this recipe.
  • When ready… Turn on ice cream maker (after putting the mixer and cover on top… And start pouring in the ingredients. Coconut milk first, then sweetener, followed by protein powder, dark chocolate, stevia and food coloring.
  • Grab a spoon and help the ingredients churn together by getting your utensil in there and help with the mixing process. 
  • Add the water and continue to help machine stir. 
  • Let the machine churn the combination for roughly 20 – 25 minutes. 
  • Then if you feel like not sharing with anyone and eating it straight out of the ice cream maker… GO FOR IT… I ain’t judging! 

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So Tell Me…

  • Who wants an ice cream maker now?
  • What’s your favorite flavor of ice cream?
  • TMNT… Fan? If so… What era did you like those slimy green guys best?! (Me: 1980s & 90s)
  • If you were a fan… Which turtle do you like best?
  • Do you remember anything from grade school history class?
  • What summer movies are you most excited to see?
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Crushing On A Cuisine

I am absolutely in love with…

Joe.

He is insanely robust and tantalizing…

Chicken_Shawarma_Spit

HUBBA. HUBBA.

You might be a bit taken aback by my aroused confession (and possibly confused by the swirling hunk of awesome above) considering at this point you probably all know that I have a fella in my life that ain’t your average Joe

Landon_Ashworth

He’s wayyyyyyyy above average

But don’t be…

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Because he and I have a very open relationship… WHEN IT COMES TO FOOD that is!

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You see… Joe (‘s Falafel) is just one of the many shawarma restaurants I frequent at least three times a week, EVERY WEEK… Because I have an, almost necessary that I go to REHAB, addiction to said cuisine.

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What IN THE WHAT? 

You might be thinking that I am now also ODDLY obsessed with eating lots of bees (THAT type of obsession would need rehab… Or a psychiatric ward?)… Because “shawarma” sounds like what might happen if you poke a bee‘s nest… But let me clear up THAT confusion for you too…

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Shawarma is a Lebanese meat preparation where lamb, chicken, turkey, beef, veal, or mixed meats are placed on a vertical spit (see photo above for reference) and roasted/grilled all day long.

Egyptian Fast Food Cook Shaves Meat

When it’s time to chow down… Shavings of the meat are cut off the block of the mouth watering beauty and served with tomatoes, cucumbers, hummus, tahini, and some people like to wrap it up in a pita.

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Now when I get my mouth around “Joe”… I let the ACTUAL man in my life hang out with some “chicks”…

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You may recall my TRYING to recreate the # 4 at Chick-Fil-A…

Healthy Chick-Fil-A sandwich revamp

Well… He’s never ordered it again. 

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Damn MSG… Making everything taste better… 

That being said… The recreation I am about to reveal to you… BLOWS THE “REAL DEAL” OUT OF THE WATER. I kid you not… And I have my friend Gina to thank for helping me create such a delicious masterpiece…

Swarm on over to the latest GiGi Eats to see how we made this SHAWARMA…

Looks like I no longer need Joe… So does that mean… No more chicks for Mr. Superior To Average?

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Swarm Around This Chicken Shawarma

It’s crazy HUMMUS I love these recipes… 

Get Clucking… 

  • Marinate chicken (cut into pieces) overnight (or at least 2 hours prior to cooking) in a container, plastic bag or bowl with the herbs, spices, and olive oil.
  • When ready to prepare, lay hunks of chicken on a baking pan that has been lined with tinfoil and sprayed with non-stick spray.
  • Bake in an oven that has been preheated to 400 degrees for about 15 minutes (turn chicken over at least once).
  • While the chicken bakes, throw all the ingredients for the hummus, into a blender and whirl away.
  • When the chicken is done, take it out of the oven, let cool for a minute, then cut up into smaller pieces (strip like).
  • Heat a little bit of oil in a skillet over medium-high heat, and transfer chicken pieces to pan.
  • Sautee for roughly 5 – 7 minutes, and then plate the aroma-bursting wonderment along side some hummus and maybe a little mixed greens, or whatever the heck you’d like, and… Try, just TRY, NOT to have a mouthgasm!

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So Tell Me…

  • If you could only live on one cuisine for the rest of your life, what would it be?
  • Have you ever had shawarma before?
  • Do you have a restaurant you frequent so much that they know your order by heart?
  • What food are you insanely addicted to? 
  • Do you find that you’re a creature of habit when it comes to the food you eat?
  • Who thinks I should REGISTER for a spit as a wedding gift? 
  • Have you checked out my friend GINA’s blog?! 

I Was Poisoning Myself…

Over here in THE STATES… It’s full-on SPRINGTIME!

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And you know what that means!?

Ladies… It’s time to start wearing bras and shaving your legs again…

And gentlemen…

DAMMIT! So lucky! You don’t have to shave your legs or wear bras! AND YOU GET TO PEE STANDING UP!

Or do you?

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Well while you may certainly want to CONSIDER doing those things (but hey, do what you want!)…

What really comes to mind when I think “springtime” is:

Spring cleaning.

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It’s time to get rid of all those [hopefully] paid bills from 2009… That shark hat you got as a holiday gift… The giant stuffed dragon you won at a carnival when you were 13… The canned green beans that ACTUALLY EXPIRED two years ago… All your orphan socks

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MaybeJust maybe… Consider taking down your holiday decorations and throwing them away? And yes… I REQUEST that you ditch the jacket YOU YOURSELF purchased that inflates every time someone LIKES something you posted on Facebook.

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Looks like she’s only gotten about 20 likes today… LOSER.

I kid! I kid!** 

Oh and one other request… PLEASE do not take your THROW AWAYS to my place…

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Expect for the shark hat… I most certainly NEED that. 

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Yep. Necessary for life. 

My house already feels like the dumping grounds for “I DO NOT WANT THIS CRAP IN MY HOUSE” stuff… And honestly, I myself am trying to get rid of things so I can live clutter free!

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It’s the way to be?

Sorry, just felt like rhyming, as you can see.

Oh snap, try and stop me!

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AAAANNNYYY WHO… There is one thing in particular that I am RIDDING FROM MY LIFE… And not just for the spring, but FOR GOOD! That one thing is the thing I am referring to in the title of this post… As it was POISONING ME.

If you want to know what it is… Tune in to THIS WEEK’S VIDEO… It’s most of a confessional, to keep myself accountable and potentially help any of you who might, in fact be poisoning themselves as well!

So tell me…

  • Since this is basically a CONFESSIONAL POST & VIDEO… How about you confess something?
  • What have you recently gotten out of your life that you’re thrilled about?
  • Who has made the biggest impact on your life thus far?
  • Spring cleaning… Have you gotten to it yet this year?
  • What is the hardest possession you’ve ever had to get rid of?

**PLEASE DO NOT base your self-worth off of SOCIAL MEDIA STATISTICS & NUMBERS!

Superheroes Making Salads In The Kitchen

If duck-billed platypi could talk… They’d probably tell you that I am a Shetland pony-sized azure-colored sparkling mystical unicorn who comes up with the most repulsive sounding and looking recipes that actually taste quite scrumptious…

Cause they’ve tried my concoctions before?

 

Superfood-Salads

Does anyone know if Food Network is casting for a new show called: WORLD’S UGLIEST RECIPE MAKER… Because IF THEY ARE, someone alert me! HOT DAMN, I need to audition.

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That being said, the latest repulsive-looking recipes my stunning unicorn-ass made, are comprised solely of the SUPERHEROES I mentioned in my last post… And if you’ve ever seen a superhero movie…  (Ahem, did you see Captain America: Civil War this past weekend?) You know, when superheroes come together to fight off EVILS… They’re not exactly about to perform in an elegant ballet.

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Same can be said about me in the kitchen.

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In case you were wondering… My mom is beyond proud of her INSANELY classy mythical beast of a daughter.

I drown my “sorrows” in sarcasm.

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That being said, I THINK I am going to turn her thoughts about me around with one of the two #StrangeButGood (Laura, yes, you inspired me) recipes I am about to reveal to all of you, as she ADORES the main ingredient in one of them!

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Thankfully she doesn’t care at all WHAT food looks like! 

Sure, you could scroll for DAYS through Instagram and Pinterest looking at CAPTIVATINGLY NAUGHTY FOOD PORN you’d like to shovel in your trap… But you should really be thinking about the HEALTH BENEFITS such porn will provide you if consumed.

I’d be BAMBOOZLED A.F. if THIS…

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Was found to CURE CANCER!

STOP!!!! I DID NOT SAY THAT X-RATED GOOEY CARMEL, PEANUT BUTTER CUP, CHOCOLATE FROZEN HUNK OF PASTRY ANNIHILATES CANCER!

DROP YOUR CAR KEYS and instead WATCH the latest GiGi Eats that incorporates some SEXY SUPERHEROES (ahem, superfoods that could POTENTIALLY have the ability to ward off cancer) into what duck-billed platypi call SCRUMPTIOUS! 

SUPERHERO SUPERFOOD SALADS

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When superheroes collide… 

Toss Those Salads…

  • Divide the spaghetti squash, vision, black panther and hawkeye into two (i.e. 1/2 cup of spaghetti squash in one bowl and 1/2 cup into another bowl, etc). 
  • Once you have divided all ingredients into separate bowls, add chicken into one bowl and sardines into another and mash combos up! 
  • Add salt and pepper to taste (you can certainly add other herbs and spices if you so wish) and chow down! 
  • WARNING: you may adopt some superhuman powers after you devour these! 

SO TELL ME… 

  • Have you ever seen a duck-billed platypus in real life before?
  • Is your mom proud of you?
  • What’s the grossest combo of food you’ve ever mixed together yet it turned out tasting delicious?
  • Did you see Captain America: Civil War? Thoughts?
  • Anyone else have weird chicken cravings, like me? 

Marvel Over These Superhero Superfoods

I may have cork-screwed myself off many big air jumps, popped off of half-pipe lips and thrown myself down cliff drops in the past…

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I may have even tamed bucking broncos back in the day…

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And currently… I may even be in a constant barbarous battle between my forever arch nemesis

Angry Stomach

But even though my past and present pursuits sound straight out of a Marvel Comic

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They actually don’t even come THE TINIEST BIT CLOSE to say… Captain America having to live in a block of ice for decades before being revived by the Avengers… Or say… Iron Man who was kidnapped by terrorists and brutally tortured and injured when he was younger…

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Their badassery most certainly triumphs mine.

I guess I need to eat more coconut oil and sardines.

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Hruhmm?!

A few weeks back, I got the pleasure of seeing a pre-screening of the latest Captain America movie, Civil War (and attending the press junket for the movie… Yes everyone, Chris Evans is just as hot in person. Oh and my clumsy ass walked right into him when I had to use the lavatory!)…

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And while watching the movie on the big screen, all I could think about was food. 

One track mind here people. One track mind. 

GiGi he he he he

But no, I was not whispering sweet nothings to an XL tub of stale buttery popcorn that smelt like utter bliss…

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I do recall myself leaning over to the Food Pervert (brought her with me) at one point during the movie and saying “who reminds you more of coconut oil, Captain America or Iron Man?”

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Uh… DING! DING! DING! 

After that thought crossed my mind and Pervy looked at me like I belong in a looney bin… I had the MIRACULOUS IDEA that I would compare ALL of the superheroes that make an appearance in Captain America: Civil War, to SUPERFOODS for my next YouTube video!

Superheroes… Superfoods… Common, you cannot say that I this idea wasn’t KIND OF “Tony Stark” of me… AKA: TOTALLY GENIUS! 

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Can you guess what food I compared Spider-Man to… Or War Machine? What about Ant-Man? Well.. CLICK PLAY below to find out but of course!

So Tell Me…

  • Do you agree or disagree with my comparisons?
  • If you’re a comic book “nerd,” who is your favorite superhero and why?
  • What badassery have you accomplished in the past? 
  • If you could compare yourself to a superfood, which one would it be and why? 

STAY TUNED… Because in my NEXT POST… I create a recipe using some of these superheroes… Superfoods… So all of you can finally see what it’s like to eat celebrities! 

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