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Chinese Take Out, Made In

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Chinese Take-Out, Made In

When your friends flake on plans like dandruff.

John Goodman Flaky Friends

When your Tinder date ghosts you even before you meet for the first time at that seedy bar.

o-GHOST-570

When your boss’s bitchy minion sucks as being a human being.

bitchy coworker

When your husband plans poker night with the boys on your anniversary (THANK GOODNESS you can return that uncomfortably promiscuous strappy body suit, am I right?).

futurama poker

When your wife still goes for pedicures and manicures with the girls even though you gifted her with an 18 karat rose gold necklace so as to subtly hint that you want some sexy time (Where’s the Suave…).

no sexy time puppy

And when the dog decides to actually go fetch… A bitch as opposed to the stick you threw like Babe Ruth.

dog bitch

MR. CHIN’S CHINESE BISTRO TO THE RESCUE!

Chinese_Fold-Pak_000

Hold it right there!

no bear

You may think Mr. Chin’s Chinese Bistro will fill the void of your extreme disappointment and present you with a positive fortune at the end of the meal, it will really just fill your gut with unhealthy omega-6 fatty acid laden oils, a vat of MSG and tell you…

fortune cookie

Well, what I (as well as my NON-FLAKY FRIEND Gina) am about to teach you how to make doesn’t contain chicken either. It also doesn’t contain any rice, MSG or crappy oil. Yet the recipe I am about to reveal to you will fix your BUMMED OUT state and your SUDDEN Chinese Food hankering…

This recipe: Beef “Fried Rice”.

别客气 

Oh and to all those who ditched you… Well …他妈的他们… They can go JUMP IN THE YANGTZE RIVER! 

Yangtze-river-redmaster

But ladies… Great news! You can return that wildly awkward and rather expensive skimpy piece of string that was supposed to go… Up there?… And use some of the money refunded to you on the ingredients for this tasty fried rice replacement (including the much-needed SECRET INGREDIENT* I am about to reveal to you) and then have loads left over to spend on… Ahem. Lululemon?

Watch how you can beef up your new-found alone time without getting fried! 

Chinese Take-Out, Made In

Chinese Take-Out, Made In

Beefed-Up, Cauli-“Fried Rice”

Get “Fried”…

  • Spray a skillet with non-stick spray and turn the flame onto medium-high.
  • Toss green onions and asparagus into pan and let cook for 2 – 3 minutes. 
  • Then add the frozen cauliflower, stir and let cook for another 2 – 3 minutes. 
  • Next, pour in the beef bone broth and crack in the eggs and stir the entire combo together.
  • Now crumble in the ground beef, cook for 2 minutes, then add the garlic, tamari sauce and ginger! 
  • And in 3 minutes – BOOM! 完!!

Gina and GiGi Cauliflower Fried Rice

So as you can see… This “fried rice” isn’t exactly friedAnd doesn’t even contain much of any oil. The magical trick to making this recipe taste just as good as Mr. Chin’s Chinese Bistro’s beef fried rice… BEEF BONE BROTH! Kettle & Fire Beef Bone Broth, what I use specifically use in this recipe… Is hands down a miracle cure (and 100% Grass-Fed/Finished & SUGAR-FREE)!!! It will not only help cure your depression after having plans you’ve been looking forward to canceled the last second (because it’s included in this mood elevating dish), but it also helps support your immune system and contains healing compounds such as collagen, glutamine, glycine and proline! These compounds help heal your gut lining and reduces intestinal inflammation! Oh and another cool component of bone broth… IT CAN HELP YOU OVERCOME FOOD ALLERGIES AND INTOLERANCES!?

What in the WHAT WHAT?! (Always consult your doctor before ditching your epi-pen or chugging a gallon of milk – if you’re allergic to dairy). Go light your kettle on fire with Kettle & Fire<– USE COUPON CODE: GIGIEATS15 to get 15% off!!!

Laughing Kettle&Fire Beef Bone Broth

SO TELL ME…

  • What’s your favorite take-out comfort food?
  • What’s the last thing that really annoyed you?
  • Don’t lie: how much do you flake?
  • Have you ever used Kettle & Fire Beef Bone Broth? <– USE COUPON CODE: GIGIEATS15 to get 15% off!!!
  • Did you know bone broth has so many health benefits
  • Which fast food/staple take out dish do you wish had a HEALTHIER “cousin”?