GiGi Eats Celebrities

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Not Zipping My Lips Over This!

This shop has been compensated by Collective Bias, Inc. and its advertiser. All opinions are mine alone. #ZiplocBackToSchool #CollectiveBias 

 

I am not one to zip and lock my lips… Ever.

In other words, I “suffer” from what you might call, “word vomit,” much to my mother’s chagrin.

whoops gigi eats

I could blame genetics… But I mean, I won’t?

So when there are thoughts/ideas swimming through my mind, my mouth fires them out like cannon balls.

Anyone cannon ball into a pool yet this summer?

cannonball dog

Some may believe having said “condition” is rather unfortunate, however, I see it as a positive personality trait.

You see… If my logic was chained to the inner chambers of my prefrontal cortex and didn’t weasel its way out of my mouth as effortlessly as it is to open an Easy Open Tabs Ziploc® Brand Bag…

Ziploc Easy Open Tabs GiGi Eats

Thankfully my logic does not stay secure in my brain, much like my latest creation (which I will later reveal) does in a Ziploc® Brand Containers.

Ziploc Press Seal GiGi Eats

Because if it didn’t, I would be described as a “sugar-coater”.

And we all know, I do not associate myself with sugar.

Because I am in NO WAY shape or form affiliated with the white stuff, there are thousands upon thousands of foods lining grocery store shelves I DETEST. LOATHE. DESPISE. ABHOR. REPUDIATE.

Stupid Protein Bars

Impressed by my extensive vocabulary for the word HATE?

Thank you college degrees!

Speaking of education… It’s almost that time of year AGAIN… Back TO SCHOOL… (GET THAT CANNONBALL IN BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE!) Which means… Chaos will once again ensue (if you are in fact a parent).

I’m sure you’re all too familiar with those mornings (even if you don’t have any offspring) when everyone wakes up on the wrong side of the bed, and/or when the universe decides to play CRUEL tricks on you… In these situations, the last thing you are probably thinking about is packing a lunch and/or snacks for those moments when even your foot looks appetizing.

Moments such as these wrangle my brain back to what I was about to touch upon earlier: those foods in the grocery store that truly anger me… One type in particular… GLORIFIED CANDY BARS… Or in other words: PROTEIN BARS. 

They’re absolute garbage (in my opinion at least). Which is why I decided to create a protein bar that only makes me think of synonyms for the word LOVE!

gigi eats neopolitan protein bar

What I have made for all of you to recreate at home (for those on the go moments) are vegan Neapolitan protein bars full of high-quality protein and fiber yet minus the STUFF I do not associate myself with!

vegan neopolitan protein bars

My word vomit is in FULL effect in the latest GiGi Eats… To see if this sugar, dairy, wheat, gluten, soy, nut & fruit-free Neapolitan protein bar recipe got me to SHUT UP… Click PLAY!

NEAPOLITAN Protein Bars

Dairy, Gluten, Soy, Sugar, Nut, Fruit- Free

If you want to hit the bar… Here’s what you need:

  • 1/4 Cup Vanilla, Chocolate and Strawberry Protein Powders 
  • 1/4 Cup Coconut Flour
  • 2 Tbsp Erythritol
  • 1/2 Cup Water

This bar won’t hurt if you walk into it…

  • Gather 3 mixing bowls and be sure to have some parchment paper handy.
  • In bowl # 1, add chocolate protein powder, coconut flour, erythritol, and water. Mix together.
  • In bowl # 2, add strawberry protein powder, coconut flour, erythritol, and water. Mix together.
  • In bowl # 3, add vanilla protein powder, coconut flour, erythritol, and water. Mix together.
  • Now it’s time to take a piece of parchment paper, lay it on the counter and then pour your batter from bowl # 1 onto it and flatten it out with your hands.
  • Grab a dull knife and cut a rectangle in the chocolate later, discarding the rest of the “dough” back into the bowl (use will use it again to make another bar). Repeat this step with bowl # 2 and # 3.
  • When you have your three layers. CAREFULLY lay flavors one on top of the other. Press lightly with your hand, and if you’re hungry… GOBBLE UP!
  • If you’re not hungry, what I advise you to do is use either a reliable Ziploc® Brand Easy Open Tabs bag or a handy Ziploc® Brand Press Seal container to store your protein bars individually in the fridge. You could also freeze your bars, using durable Ziploc® Brand Freezer bags, available at ALL Kroger stores! 

Ziploc Bags

SO TELL ME…

  • Does your mouth ZIP and LOCK or is it more like mine?
  • What food makes you angry even when you just LOOK at it?
  • Are you the type that relies on protein bars?
  • Do you use Ziploc® Brand as an eponym to describe all storage bags and containers?
  • I tend to store other things aside from food in my Ziploc® Brand bags, such as pens, makeup, etc… What about you?
  • How do you feel about the Chocolate, Vanilla and Strawberry menage a trois?

#ZiplocBacktoSchool

Comments

  2. I haven’t had neopolitan anything in ages, but for some weird reason it always reminds me of being a kid and eating the space ice cream. It always came in neopolitan flavor! I’m sure this is way better for you than that, though!

    • OMG SPACE ICE CREAM! That stuff was gross but also just something we would eat… Even though it wasn’t the best. I don’t get it. I think our mouths were just so confused that they couldn’t get enough! LOL!

  5. Since I passed the 40’s I had to zip my mouth as my metabolism from a porche became a mini cooper car haha! But I would gladly unzip it to try these bars!

  6. Even with just one child, when everyone wakes up on the wrong side of the bed, it puts the entire day into a spiral. We just went through this a couple days ago and I’m still recovering.

    • Ugh! I hear ya!!! I live alone and when I wake up on the wrong side of the bed, everything just sucks… But I try to make it ALL better with delicious treats like these bars! 😉

  7. Hmmm depends on the situation but my mouth is usually zip and loc style 🙂

    I love this variation on protein bars…I like you HATE when they try to market somehting (hello snickers tried to pull this junk with an energy bar AKA candy bar!)…It’s fine to eat candy/junk but don’t try to tell people it is healthy!

    • OMG EXACTLY Sarah! Eat candy, go for it, live your life, do as you wish… But the second a CANDY COMPANY tries to promote said candy as an ENERGY BAR that is healthy, yeah, I lose my shit!

  10. These bars have me starving but I don’t know if I could get them to be as perfectly square as yours but I defintely want to make them!

    • I WAS SOOOOOOOO PROUD OF MYSELF – YOU HAVE NO IDEA! Or maybe you do – because you have met me! LOL!

    • Oh me too really. CHICKEN is my protein bar – however, I really wanted to make an alternative for those who think it’s weird to whip out a piece of chicken from their purse or pocket when they need some protein LOL!!

    • Yes you will have to!! Protein bars are just, UGH… Obviously you know how I feel after reading this, LOL

  14. Yum! What a great alternative to those yucky, sugary bars. I think my boys would love these. I love the blending of all three flavors too!

  16. I’m guessing you don’t close your mouth as good and tight as the Ziploc.

    Yes, as a doctor, when people tell me things my lips are sealed

    I don’t like looking at raw meat.

    I’ve liked neapolitan ice cream in the past, but not when the chocolate mixes with the strawberry. Vanilla is good with either. The order in the box is just wrong, vanilla needs to be in the center.

    • OMG SO TRUE! Mixing chocolate with certainly flavors just DOES NOT WORK and to be honest, I actually HATE chocolate so I remember only eating the vanilla out of the mix – ha! I always remember the strawberry flavor having hunks of fruit in it, and that always skeeved me out! LOL!!!

  17. Awesome post. Unfortunately I have to avoid all of those things, but fortunately you have a great recipe here! Can’t wait to to give it a try!

    • Hmmm I mean, I could look into it! 😉 I am actually in talks to create a protein powder line so maybe in the near future!!

  19. Hi Gigi,

    I am more of a lets wait and see before I say anything.

    Many processed foods make me angry.

    I am not a protein bar person, used to be.

    Love chocolate, vanilla and strawberry.

    Take care!

  20. Does your mouth ZIP and LOCK or is it more like mine?
    -There is a lot of strength in silence. Sometimes shutting up says more than shouting. However, I will “raise my voice” figuratively as necessary. People don’t F with me and it keeps them wondering.
    What food makes you angry even when you just LOOK at it?
    Not so much a food. Sweet tea. Why ruin tea with sugar?
    Are you the type that relies on protein bars?
    Rely-no. Make them and eat them sometimes – yes.
    Do you use Ziploc® as an eponym to describe all storage bags and containers?
    Most of the time…I sometimes say sandwich bag.
    I tend to store other things aside from food in my Ziploc® bags, such as pens, makeup, etc… What about you?
    I fly a lot. A LOT…you’ll find any number of things in those Ziploc bags, though I have TSA precheck they still make life easier. Contact Lenses for the win…
    How do you feel about the Chocolate, Vanilla and Strawberry menage a trois?

  21. Those look really good and healthy. We are into the KIND bars, I think they are tasty. I’ll be giving yours a try.

    • I think if I had to recommend ANYONE eat any sort of bar… It’d have to be Lara Bars. Although, I don’t even think those have much protein at all!

  23. I try to keep the filter in but sometimes it just doesn’t help. I’m not PC at all never was and never will be. I eat jerky sometimes for a treat or hard boiled eggs. You took me off the sugar protein bar path, these look tasty. Say hello to Tara 🙂

    • Tara says HI!!!! We plan on filming more videos very soon – her full-time job doesn’t allow her too much free time to film 🙁 We are still working on getting us a show! haha!

      PS: I am THRILLED you don’t have a filter… Filters are stupid! Unless you’re filtering water 😉

    • you sound like me Rocco. Being PC has never been my strong point either. I do think, though, that eating what you prepare is far better than eating what you don’t know.

  24. GENIUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And you can do different flavors!!!!!

    My mouth – well, I am needing work & broke so tells you what my mouth does for me! 🙂

    OMG the everything looking like carbs – BREAD!!!! MEEEEEEE

    Love this GiGi and that TAN! 😉

    • You actually seem to keep your thoughts under – wraps Jody 😉 I remember when we had lunch, he he he!

      And yes. I burnt my boobs. Yes, yes I did! LOL!!

  25. These protein bars look really good and they are convenient to take on-the-go. I also have a big problem keeping my mouth shut when I feel strongly about something.

  26. Well, I thought I had verbal diarrhea but you just beat me to it. Love your take on protein bars, but love it even more that you offer an alternative.

    • 🙂 I always try to supply an alternative to the typical not so lovely treat — I am not just here to throw up verbal garbage on you! haha

  28. hahaha, that dog(…?) puts some of the cat-loaf pictures out there to shame! :O

    I’m definitely going to have to try making these! I’m not sure I have a strawberry-flavored protein powder, but…cookies & creme? <3?! And chocolate PB!? Love how simple these are! <3

  30. How do you get the layers to stick together? Yes, I call the baggies Ziploc as anything else doesn’t seem like the right description.

    • It’s magic – lol but no, really, the “dough” is sticky enough that they just stick together nicely! 🙂

  31. These not only look yummy but you cracked me up with your writing. You are hysterical and now I should try these bars too. Maybe I’ll make mine chocolate vanilla, chocolate and skip the strawberry. 🙂

    • OHHHHHH YES I do adore that idea and you know what?! I think I want to do the same thing the next time I make them.

  32. I love your enthusiasm. I am so with you about protein bars. I don’t buy any that have ingredients I can’t read or understand, and I certainly don’t want sugar. I’ve thought about making them at home and now I have a fun recipe to try.

  33. I’m a ziploc gal. And I think I’m going to be a ziploc gal adding some protein bars for back to school for the kiddos and for myself cause I don’t really eat a full breakfast. This would be good for me.

    • Oh these certainly would be! It will totally feel like you’re eating a treat except there is ZERO SUGAR! 🙂 And it’s a complete meal! Carbs, Fat & Protein for the win!

  34. Mmmm homemade bars would save me some money! I’d likely make a chocolate-vanilla-chocolate bar as I’m hit or miss on strawberry but I am inspired to make my own bars now:)

  35. Yum to the protein bars, am going to definitely making some! Your humor is incredible and a refreshing change. Yes, I use the word ziploc for every storage bag the same way I use tupperware for every storage container! HA

    • You definitely need to start making some protein bars with your protein powder! It’s a great way to 1. get rid of it 2. make delicious snacks 🙂

  39. This reminds me of Mean Girls because of the term “word vomit”, lol! Anyway, these protein bars look great and it would be nice to have them as a snack when you barely have time to cook food. Thanks for the healthy recipe!

  42. My mouth does not zip or lock either. The bars look fab. And those bags are the only ones I’ll buy. The “off-brands” just don’t cut it.

  43. I definitely do not get enough protein in my life. I totally want to make these this weekend.

  44. That’s funny, since I used the “word vomit” phrase this morning in my post and I don’t think I’ve ever thought of that expression before :p we must be in sync!

    Also these bars look amazing. And I can’t believe back to school is just around the corner. Or how much that dog looks like a loaf of bread, LOL.

  45. I showed my husband your recipe. We are going to make them this weekend. He prefers a bar of all one kind, so that’s the only adjustment we’ll be making.

  46. Really good word vomit this week. Epic rant. 🙂 And a thoroughly fun read! Agree with you on protein bars — they’re just candy in another guise. Well, most protein bars — not yours, of course! Really fun post — thanks.

  48. I also have vomit mouth, my family HATES it LOL! These bars look delicious! Thanks for sharing!

  49. What a hilarious post you created! I was cracking up the entire read! And your protein bars look fab as well, girl!
    Karen | GlamKaren.com

  50. I used to have this BAD addiction to Quest bars and other protein bars! I don’t eat them very often but I’ve been trying to find a really good one in the market that’s low sugar, high protein, vegan and not loaded with sh*t ingredients! As an alternative however, I could always make my own 🙂

    • Did Quest bars ever give you stomach aches or bloating? I have been hearing from people that that is a typical symptom of them!

  51. I honestly can’t stand the store protein bars. I feel that they aren’t flavorful and that they really don’t give me what I needed from them to begin with most of the time.

  52. I have mouth vomit sometimes. It’s uncontrollable in certain situations. Like right now when I am going to say how delicious those bars look…I’m drooling. Like literally.

    • Ah ha ha! Literally drooling huh?!?! Well I certainly hope you have a little cloth to wipe it up with! 😉

  53. These do look delicious! But I won’t lie…I adore Clif Builders Bars in Chocolate Mint, even if they are glorified candy bars 😛 ALWAYS #RUNGRY

    • 😉 Lying is not allowed so I am glad you were honest with me. Now… I will be honest and say those aren’t the BEST but hey, each to their own and if you feel good on them, then keep doing what you’re doing you RUNGRY girl! LOL!

    • You certainly do! I adore coconut flour and it’s actually pretty much one of the rare few flours I can actually eat!

    • So sweet of your to say Jess! 🙂 You make me want to post on my blog more often – I just don’t have enough time Ha!

  56. Hahah! This was such a fun post to read! Different from so many recipe posts I’ve seen! Great work! Gonna give this a try too! Thanks!!

    | yvonnesowell.com |

  57. Ooooooh these look good! Store bought protein bars are usually filled with ingredients that I have no idea where they came from, what they are or what they do so these are 10,00000000000000x better.

    • EXACTLY!!! I actually sometimes just for fun read the ingredients of the bars (oh yeah, I am a freaking party animal)… And I am always just so SHOCKED at how disgusting they are!

    • 😉 It’s all about feeling out the situation and feeling comfortable with the people who you’re around – then you let loose! he he!

  59. all those layers..i am not the one to open my mouth in a big group..but in smaller groups where im comfortable with my people, i blabber a lot :P.

  60. You’re too funny! I’ve slowly come to distance myself from sugar. And too have realized that 98% of store-bought protein bars are complete CRAP. So I resort to making my own. Love this flavor idea! Now to get strawberry protein powder…

  63. I’m into it for sure! I do love protein bars, but they’re often terrible. Not all, of course. My sister makes her own but yours look even better.
    Send them to me! Use Ziploc!

  65. You have a cute sense of humor. It is back to school time…I think this is an interesting snack i heard of the ice cream but never tried in this version.

  68. I use Ziploc bags for all kinds of things. I definitely love to use them when I am going on vacation. They are great to store travel sized bottles of shampoo and toothpaste and such.

  69. Homemade protein bars are SO much better than store bought ones–the price, the taste, the ingredients!

    I’m okay at keeping my thoughts to myself in terms of talking, but I’ve been told way too many times that I wear my feelings on my face, so if I don’t like something or someone, there’s no hiding it. 😛

  70. I love Ziplock. We use their brand all the time. The type of food that makes me most angry is anything gluten free.

  72. I need to try these! Love the minimal, healthy ingredients so they’re going on my list to make. Unless you want to make me a few dozen and ship ’em, lol.
    Ziploc bags are life savers for everything – especially when you’re traveling! Where else would you put your wet swimsuit if you take a last minute dip before hitting the airport? !

    • Ah ha ha! Wet swimsuits make me cringe – HA! But I am glad you get in one last swim before hitting the airport – LMFAO!

  74. These actually look tasty! I think it’s hard to find a protein bar that doesn’t have an aftertaste.

    • Ugh, yep. Aftertaste. Disgusting ingredients. Sugar galore… Finding a healthy protein bar is so so so difficult and pretty much next to impossible!

  75. Oh my, I definitely need to make those bars! I’m cleaning up my diet again and this would probably help me with my need for snacks. All the time. LOL!

    • YES! It would be so so so good for snack time on your healthier lifestyle! I am so happy you have decided to get your diet back on track too by the way 🙂

  77. These look pretty and tasty! I’m cutting out sugar more these days and I like the idea of having a higher protein snack.

    • YES! Higher protein will keep you fuller, and will help you avoid sugar because you won’t be hungry for it! 😉

  78. I’m right there with you at “the bar” Gigi.

    I’ll have a large glass of red wine please 🙂

    Oh you’re talking about these bars? Oh right lol.

    Seriously though these look excellent. But I only have chocolate protein powder, can I make a triple layer protein bar? 😀

    • What if I made a WINE protein bar?!?!?! Then you could be “at the bar” with your wine and a bar….. LOL

      And yeah, you could make a 3 layer protein bar with just chocolate… I mean, it would taste all like chocolate but…… It would have three layers, lol

    • Yep!! I mean, you could add coconut oil if you wanted (which you obviously don’t – haha) but I found that it wasn’t necessary!

  83. I’m a mom of 4, and always on the go. We use Ziploc bags and containers for EVERYTHING. We use both to store itty bitty toy parts and plastic beads for making necklaces.

  85. These sound wonderful! Love the combo of protein powders, I just happen to have all of those flavors stored in my pantry, so will have to give this a try 🙂 Thanks for sharing with the Sunday Fitness & Food Link-Up!! Cheers!!! 🙂

  88. Strawberry, Chocolate and Vanilla! Too much good stuff here. Thanks for sharing with us at Creatively Crafty #ccbg 🙂

  89. The Neapolitan Protein bars look pretty amazing! I have really grown into making my own bars – I’m just amazed how easy it is! I need to to try your recipe! Pinning and stumbling!

  90. These Neapolitan Protein bars look pretty amazing! I have really grown into making my own bars – can’t believe how easy it is! I need to try your recipe!

  92. I wanted to buy a protein bar in the shop once, just to give it a try. I checked the ingredients of all the protein bars available and I couldn’t find one which would be healthy. Yes, they are full of sugar and s**t, it’s better to make one at home. What kind of protein powder do you use?
    #TastyTuesdays

  93. Oooh these sound super good! I have managed to find a couple of protein bars at my grocery store that aren’t terrible, but making my own is definitely something I would prefer. And what better ones to make than these pretty little bars???
    I used to have word vomit when I was a tween… sadly, I got beat up and learned the hard way to keep my mouth shut. Sometimes I forget though as I like to voice my opinion 😉
    Thanks so much for sharing your awesome sauce bars at Healthy Vegan Fridays! They are being featured this week!

  94. Those bars look yummy, thanks for the recipe and fun post to read! I sometimes suffer from Word Vomit too

  95. Easy peasy healthy snack! I am so delighted that you shared your healthy and delicious NEAPOLITAN Protein Bars with us at the Healthy Happy Green and Natural Party!Thank you so much for sharing your gems and for your support! All the best, Deborah

  97. Now that’s my kind of healthy protein bar! Thank you for sharing your healthy and delicious Neapolitan Protein Bars with us at the Plant-Based Potluck Party! I’m pinning and sharing!

  100. Sigh, I used to live off those “glorified candy bars,” especially when I was pregnant! I much prefer this version. 😉 I’ll have to try them out next time I have protein powder on hand. 🙂 Thank you so much for sharing them over at Allergy Free Thursdays, GiGi!

  105. I can’t stop my smile when I looked at your face in the photo. Very fun! Not only fun but also terrible something down to you

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