“Meat” Your Valentine!

Moussaka Paleo

You know that song by Celine Dion that goes a little something like… Every night in my dreams… I see you. I feel you.  Yeah, well… If I were the one who wrote this tune… It wouldn’t have been about a person. It would have been about FOOD.  I mean… The lyrics: Love can touch us one time. And last for a lifetime. And never let go till we’re one. Perfectly describes my relationship with salmon. Love is salmon… And when [Read On!]

All That Salt Is NO Miss-Steak!

TURMERIC and Salt Beef

At this point, you might be “THANKSGIVING STUFFED” (aw man, now I want the holidays back… Dammit, why did I bring them up?) because I keep shoving the fact that The Food Pervert and I went to Greece and Italy last October, down your throat. Well… It’s time to find your second stomach because… I’m about to feed you ANOTHER tidbit about our adventure! As you may recall from THIS VIDEO… Pervy and I were driven out to Sorrento, Italy, where [Read On!]

Rollin’ With These Spring Rolls

Paleo Spring Rolls

I am about to KICK this OFF by BLINDSIDING you. I do not FULLY BACK football. I know this information is rather BLITZ-ing because last year roughly 115 million people (on that final Sunday of the football season) watched men ram into each other… And the average number of people who yell at the TV screen during any one pigskin fumbling game is no less than 19 million (blame Google if these numbers are wrong). Sure… A game with TIGHT ENDS should HOOK [Read On!]

Check Out My Baskets!

WHAT I EAT Everyday!

As you may be aware at this point… There is a lot of “clowning around” that goes on here. Puns. Quips. Tomfoolery. And but of course… Innuendos. The same could be said about the show Baskets, a TV show in its second season on FX (as of January 19th), that follows the life of a want-to-be French clown, Chip Baskets, played by Zach Galifianakis, who winds up moving back to California (to live with his insanely dysfunctional family) after he [Read On!]

A Souped-Up Comparison

Pumpkin Soup Collage

You know what? Pumpkin, the orange gourd that’s WILDLY popular in the fall and winter months as I know you’re familiar with, could most certainly be compared to the Toy Story movie franchise. Hear me out… Now you can’t deny the fact that anticipation for a new Toy Story movie is always there (common 2019!)… Which pretty much mirrors the excitement for pumpkin season that tends to always linger in our minds all the time. Then when there are roughly [Read On!]



Over the course of the past several months, I feel as though I have actually turned into what I eat… A SALMON! That’s because I have been traveling just as much as a salmon does… in order to reach new feeding grounds? (I guess that comparison does actually work… Because I mean, FOOD is what I do!) It all started… Way back in September when I embarked on a culinary journey through Greece and Italy with my main foodie squeeze, The Food [Read On!]

Hey Sexy Cookie, You’re Actually Just A Cutie!


Because I am one curious baby dolphin… I GOOGLE IMAGED the word CUTE to see EXACTLY what photos would be curated. Now the reason for this search was because the amount of times people have called me “CUTE” (and definitely NOT sexy… WOMP. WOMP.)… Had me convinced that MY mug shot would pop up first in the search engine results. Alas, I was wrong… Instead… This is what popped up… Okay, Gina (The Trainer) wasn’t ACTUALLY the first photo to show up… But [Read On!]

Nacho Average B.R.I.S.K.E.T.


Basically  Ready In Seconds (and) Kickin’ Every Tastebud Sure… You could probably come up with at least twenty billion (or more?) foods that can be ready in next to no time AND make you want to jump in front of a bus for… But I highly doubt BRISKET* (did you catch on to my acronym) is on that list of consumables.  Sure… If you’re NOT a vegan/vegetarian/pescatarian/meat-free eater… BRISKET* (and it’s undeniably delicious aroma) PROBABLY brainwashes you into wanting to risk your life in a [Read On!]

Will He Swallow? A Protein Powder Taste Test…


There are plenty of fish in the sea. Or so the saying goes. THANKFULLY and LUCKILY I can now say that on my last fishing trip… I hooked me a biggie. Photo by Cary Pennington And we all know at this point how much I LOVE fish! Now this same cliche… That gives all single men and women a twinge of hope, that they won’t wind up yelling at noisy hoodlums and retiring in Florida alone, as they cast their [Read On!]

Munching The Med: Part Two (Katakolon, Corfu, Cooking & The Slots)

munching the med part 2

My apologies for leaving you stranded in the middle of the Ionian Sea. Honestly, though… I am not sure I am actually sorry… Because some of my favorite experiences happened out there. But here I am, to rescue you, so hop on this life preserver boat (I know, my nautical terminology is SPOT ON…), and I will take you first to… Katakolon & Olympia… So we can explore where dudes used to run around ass naked competing with one another (I.E. Where [Read On!]

Munching The Med: Part One (from Athens to Santorini)

Munching The Med, Part One

Do you remember what it was like to take your first EVER bite from an EXTRA LARGE cup of Dippin’ Dots? For me, that experience (when I was, maybe 6?) was insanely mind-blowing, as I felt as though I blasted off into an alternate universe where only delicious mouth parties exist… Well, my experience of getting the BEST brain freeze of my life, thanks to shoveling in Mint Chocolate Chip Dippin’ Dots way too quickly, pretty much mirrors my experience aboard [Read On!]