Septic Tank Smoothie

Zahara Jolie Pitt eats Cheetos

Remember when your parents told you NOT to play with your food? Yeah well… Whitney and I were far to busy making mansions out of Life Cereal and flinging mashed potato bullets at our siblings, to abide by our parent’s wishes! However, these celebrity children look as if they know food is for sustenance… Not mooshing together to make some elephant dung looking concoctions that taste… About as good as a septic tank ice cream sundae!    “Mom! Pay attention! I want [Read On!]

Liquid Salads


I recently discovered a bag of salad greens that must have thought it was playing hide and seek with me (spinach is quite the ace at hiding in my fridge apparently) because when I checked out the “use by” date, let’s just say it was… past its prime. RAUNCHY! The sell by date says NOVEMBER 2011! The leaves resembled something that might come out of a cow’s ass and you know what? When I opened the bag (yeah, not too [Read On!]

Come On Down To The BBQ


Celebrities… they’re just like us! They like to… Shovel mashed potatoes and chicken burgers into their traps. Mashed Potato Calories (1 cup): 200 Chicken Burger Calories: 325 (includes bun, tomato & lettuce) Risk dripping relish, ketchup and mustard all over themselves as they lick condiments off their hot dogs before actually eating the dog (hey, if I were once a vegetarian, I’d savor the taste of my sausage too). Hot Dog (Beef) Calories: 220 (includes bun) Nibble on the rind [Read On!]

Loin of Celebrity, Please!


The other evening I wandered into the swanky LA hot spot Scarpetta and ordered their seared Dwayne Johnson with a side of Beyonce, George Clooney and Victoria Secret Models. After devouring that delicious combination, I peered over the dessert menu and couldn’t resist ordering Ryan Gosling. Hey, a girls got to eat! Beyonce = Butternut Squash           Lady Gaga = Cauliflower           Victoria Secret Models = Green Beans           Lindsey Lohan = Nectarine           Adam Sandler = Egg           Nicolas [Read On!]