When you cross out the ST from the word STUFF… You are left with the letters: UFF.
And UFF is the noise I make when I feel like I HAVE TOO MUCH STUFF.
I mean… Is…
EXTREMELY NECESSARY… UFF.
I may, however, be a rare breed because TYPICALLY people will take the word STUFF… Cross out the U-F-F, move the T before the S and add PRSEN to it.
Because who DOES NOT like (physical) presents!?
Oh, that’s right… I just finished expressing how… I don’t.
That being said… Since a majority of you and your family/friends do love ripping Jolly Olly Santa off a huge box or ten… I have come up with some gift ideas that might be so lucky as to make it into one or two of those boxes…
Naughty… Or Nice… You might be getting one of these this holiday season:
A gift that says: HERE… If you’re going to eat enough meat for the meat sweats, you might as well do it with grass-fed/finished meats!
A gift that says: Throw up the bird to deep fryers!
A gift that says: I DO NOT KNOW WTF to get you… So you pick something out. And if you decided to go on one of those all-inclusive trips… You better invite me!
Tidy or Handy Cleaning Services
A gift that says: I don’t want to verbally tell you that your home is messier than a chimpanzee’s cage after 3 weeks of not being cleaned… So here… Just take this!
A gift that says: Ladies, I want you to head into the new year with a brand new perspective on the male psyche because they’re not as complicated as you think… And gents, if you think you’re the only one who’s made a complete ass of themselves in the dating world… This book will hysterically remind you that you’re not alone.
A gift that says: I would totally get that pillowcase, thong, baseball cap, and/or bumper sticker with my face on it… For myself, but… That seems inappropriate.
A gift that says: GiGi would be jealous as FFFFFF!
A gift that says: Here is a far cheaper way to make you booty look bigger… Without having to get ass implants like… THOSE WOMEN. However, you should really just be doing squats.
Giant Body Pillow
A gift that says: Seriously. With this… Being single for the rest of your life looks a bit more comfortable, right?
A gift that says: You have a serious problem (which will only be confirmed if you wear this hat year-round). However, you’re hysterical when you’re a complete shit show… Cheers!
A gift that says: No more late night puddle slipping.
A gift that says: I really want to make out with YOUR food, so please… Get all up in it.
Cute Animal Tea Infusers
A gift that says: Who doesn’t want to always have a buddy to “hang out” with while sipping some tea?
A gift that says: I give you full permission to GO AVO-CONTROL!
A gift that says: Hold on to your butts!
A gift that says: Quit shoving money, IDs, gum, breath mints, condoms, and the like in your cleavage… It ain’t classy.
A gift that says: Just don’t wear this at work. (Or perhaps, you’re welcome?)
Poop Emoji Plunger
A gift that says: Go on. Eat some fiber.
A gift that says: I think you look great in glasses.
Gravity Defying Drinkware
A gift that says: Suck it, David Blaine.
A gift that says: Quit it with the political rants on Facebook… Take it out on this guy (don’t worry, there is a Hillary one as well… And Hillary TP too) instead… Maybe film it… And then post THAT on Facebook.
Garbage Can BBQ Grill
A gift that says: Your cooking tastes like garbage anyways…
A gift that says: A ray of sunshine you won’t want to punch in the face.
A gift that says: The food you eat might actually hate your guts. Get rid of the haters! (To receive $60 off your food intolerance test, use the code: GIGIEATS)
A gift that says: I effin’ love you. (Or maybe… I effin’ hate you?)
Oh shit. Now I kind of… Maybe… Sort of… Totally… Want some of these things!
So Tell Me…
- From the above list… What would you ask for and why?
- What is actually on your holiday gift list this year?
- When you think of the word STUFF… Do you have the same reaction as me?
- Do you recall the best holiday gift you’ve ever received?
- What are your holiday plans?**
- How many of you are going to download my husband’s hysterical/pee in your pants $2 e-book?!
**Speaking of holiday plans… THIS will be my LAST blog post until 2017. Do follow me on Instagram though… As I can’t stop, and won’t stop posting photos showcasing my whereabouts… Seriously, you’re going to want to follow along because… I am off to Thailand, Cambodia, Vietnam, and Asia (yep… MORE TRAVEL FOR ME)!