Instead of a 6 pound, 5-ounce fetus swimming through the amniotic fluid in my uterus as I type this…
I now have an 8-pound baby (yep! He gained some weight since birth, where he was 6 pounds, 5 ounces, as he’s now 1-month old), sitting in an Ergo baby carrier, strapped to my torso, nestling his head in between my two engorged “lady mountains”… And in a few minutes, he is going to start “swimming” around with his mouth, in search of food.
And OFF TO THE RACES…!
Like mother, like son?
Er, um, sort of? I mean, I don’t go looking for food in my bosom much (or anyone else’s for that matter), but I do let my mouth lead me to the closest food source when hanger hits!
What you did, however, read correctly about that statement though is… Yep. I am officially a… Mother.
Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Me… A mother. A mom. A mommy…
My vagina and I did it… And let’s just say, it was quite the production… After all, it is me we are talking about. Never a dull moment here.
Because I had a sneaking suspicion that my birthing experience was going to be rather entertaining, Landon (my husband, to all the new readers who don’t know this already) and I decided to make a little comedy sketch (which includes parts of the actual labor) about our little man‘s ENTRANCE to the world.
I also really wanted some sort of distraction from any pain that might ensue while letting the bat out of the cave and I thought focusing on filming everything leading up to, during and after the parturition… Would help get my mind off the fact that a WATERMELON was about to be squeezed through a water hose!
I’m not exactly sure if making my birthing adventure into a “feature film” actually had me thinking MORE about the situation at hand or less, but at this point, it doesn’t matter because I officially have that watermelon, who happens to be cute as FORK, fastened to my chest… Gazing up at me with his big blue eyes that are essentially saying… “FEED ME”!
So while I let my son go “grocery shopping at the open 24/7 supermarket” (if you know what I mean)… I will let all of you go watch the comedy sketch/birthing video of my son, Mr. Tisker Whisker Biscuit.
SO TELL ME…
- Ladies (and I guess Gents as well), I want to hear about your birthing stories if you’ve ever had a child… And GO!
- Anyone else get controlled by HANGER when it hits?
- If you have ever been pregnant, what was your FAVORITE part of the 9-month experience?
- Ladies, would you ever allow video cameras in the delivery room knowing that your lady parts would be on FULL DISPLAY?
- Epidural or NO epidural, that is the question…
- Have you ever found food from a previous meal hiding in your bra/shirt a few hours later?
- How’s your 2019 going thus far?! Did you miss me?
YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO GIVE MY TINY GENTLEMAN A FOLLOW… birth story comedy sketch
https://www.instagram.com/p/BsON_ebnP4R/