An apple, a stalk of celery and a pear walk into a gym class…
Nicki and I work out in the same kicks!
The apple turns to the celery and says, “you’re such a stalker”…
The pear yells over to the apple…
“Don’t have a pest…icide!!!”
Okay, honestly, I have no idea where I am going with this.
Kind of like a bulk of the stories I tell…
I was trying to be all clever and come up with some cutesy way of introducing today’s blog topic….
Obviously I FAIL!
Can you guess what I am trying to get at?
Okay, before the curiosity kills you, today, I’m talking BODY TYPES!
Don’t show this picture to your children… They’ll never want to eat produce! FACKING CREEPY!
Obviously we were all built differently, I am clearly NOT Michael Jordan people, but did you know that even though body types vary so much, they can be classified into just three groups?
It’s MORPHIN’ time!
Ectomorph/ Celery
An ectomorph is the type of person you want to smack up-side the head because they can shovel in 20 Ding Dongs and then move on to the cinnamon buns without gaining weight. This body type has a fast metabolism and needs a lot of calories in order to gain weight. Usually ectomorph’s have long thin limbs with stringy muscles, think Posh Spice. This body type benefits from short and intense workouts focusing on big muscle groups.
Damn supermodels.
Mesomorph/Apple
A mesomorph is the type of person you don’t want to mess with. A meso has a large bone structure, large muscles and a naturally athletic physique (that is, if they work out). Mesomorphs are the best body type for bodybuilding. Could you see Kesha doing dead lifts? They find it quite easy to gain and lose weight. They are naturally strong which is the perfect platform for building muscle. Mesomorphs do need to watch what and how much they eat though (No cinnamon buns for you! Although, ectomorphs really should strive to eat healthy foods too) for they tend to gain weight far easier than Ectomorphs.
Za Arnold. (Pronounce Arnold – Aw-NAUD).
Endomorph/Pear
An endomorph body type is solid and generally soft. Who’s envisioning the Pillsbury Dough Boy? These body types gain fat very easily. Endo’s are usually of a shorter build with thick arms and legs… Melissa McCarthy is an example, she can definitely open a can of WHOOP-ASS on ANYONE! Muscles are strong, especially the upper legs. A healthy diet coupled with cardiovascular exercise is key in keeping Endomorphs trim and slim.
Snoop Dogg (whoa, no… Lion, excuse my mistake) loves these ladies… Drop it like it’s hot… Drop it like it’s hot!
So when you look in the mirror do you see a shiny apple, a stalk of celery, a wobbly pear, or an overflowing banana split?
That is one flexible banana!
Not going to lie, when I check myself out in the mirror… I see one SEXY pickle!
I just want to take a bite of myself…
Oh and Angelina Jolie… Sees KALE – but we already knew that!
Take that back NOW GiGi!
Why should we care about what body type we are?
Well in order to live our healthiest lives, it’s a good idea to figure out which fruit or vegetables you look like.
You sexy beast, you!
That way you can customize your lifestyle around to the appropriate exercises and the foods you should be eating in order to achieve your fittest self ever!
I mean, we are a lot like vegetables and fruits in that they pair well with some things, but not everything!
I having an INKLING that ketchup would NOT taste all that good with pineapple.
So tell me…
- What body type category do you fall under?
- Do you have any weird food combinations you love?
- How do you stay fit and healthy?
- Do you think Angie looks like KALE?
- Does pickles dipped in ice cream sound good to you?
- If you saw Nicki Minaj would you try to bounce a quarter off her ass?
- Did any of you ever watch the Power Rangers? (Fun Fact: I auditioned to be the pink one in the latest installment – yep, the show still exists!)
- Who would win in a fight: Nicki Minaj or Angelina Jolie?