I’d be lying if I told all of you that… I AM SMOOTH LIKE BUTTA in social situations… Or just in general.

And we all know that I would NEVER lie to any of you (in fact, I am a little TOO blunt at times)… So truthfully, I am about as smooth as the surface of the moon… When it comes to… Um, yeah, dealing with this thing called life.

People who have met me, seen my YouTube videos, follow me on Instagram, or observed me in general, tend to call me quite the “quirky turkey”… AKA: A nice way of saying that I am an utterly awkward HOT MESS… Or weirder than a fluffy, one legged tarantula trying to eat a corndog.

It seems you’ve all decided to jump on the HOT MESS EXPRESS, though, because you visit me here every week. 

Muahhh aha ha ha ah aha! 

The confirmation that I am indeed more peculiar than that tarantula came this past week when I asked several people to join me in the kitchen to taste test a, what they call it, ridiculously repulsive sounding, recipe idea.

I couldn’t coax them with my suave and convincing words because… Well, we have already established that I am no smooth operator. And I mean, I sort of have to agree with all of them… This recipe does sound gross AF… But it’s super high in protein… So at least it’s got that going for it… Am I right?

But lets get something straight: SOUND has NOTHING to do with taste.

Whoa. That cognition was rather sagacious of me.

Oh wait, am I the only one who thought that?

Yep, just me being smooth… As a serrated knife.

Well, the recipe that seems to have scared all of my friends away… Does NOT call for that kind of knife… It just calls for you to have a pair of COJONES… And… To be a carnivore!

Don’t Be A Chicken…

CHICKEN SMOOTHIE

• Roughly 3/4 – 1 lbs Chicken Breast, cooked and cut into chunks (I used US Wellness Meats Chicken Breast)
• 1/2 Roasted and Diced White Onion, roasted
• 1/2 Roasted and Diced Sweet Potato
• 1 Cup Chicken Bone Broth
• 4 Tbs Plain Unsweetened Coconut Milk
• Salt & Pepper (I used Fennel Saffron Salt from The San Fransisco Company)
• 1/2 Tbs Oregano
• 1/2 Tbs Garlic Powder
• 1 Zucchini, Zoodled (optional)
• 1/2 Eggplant, Noodled (optional)

That chick is smooth… Unlike me:

• Throw all of your ingredients into a anyone of these affordable blenders…
• Puree.
• Done.
• If you want to pour this “smoothie” over something… Zoodle some zucchini or eggplant (or BOTH!)… And then you can eat your smoothie with a fork!

Chicken Mustache anyone? 

So Tell Me…

• What’s the weirdest combo you’ve ever thrown in the blender/food processor? 
• Are you quick on your feet, or extremely awkward in social situations? 
• Have you ever eaten a corn dog? (Fun Fact: I’ve never eaten one before in my life) 
• What’s your favorite vegetable (or fruit?) to make into “noodles”? 
• Do you care what your food looks like before you eat it? 

Love the apron I’m wearing?! Feel free to “steal the look” by getting one for yourself at FOODIE APRONS!