Writing a blog post when you’re drunk…

Now that’s a BRILLIANT idea.

So let’s go for it… And have fun like the KAZOOOO kid!

Fun. Fun. Fun. Fun. Fun. Fun. Fun.

According to my husband, the people who formulate the products under specific “healthy” food brand umbrellas are drunk… Perhaps a few too many tequila shots like yours truly over here.

Who in their right mind would think dates, chicken, chocolate, and sage go together like four peas in a cute little, yet GMO-laden, smiling pod? And why oh why do people snack on FRIED pork skin?

Think about it. Fried. Pork. You know, WILBER’s skin?! COVERED in sugar and cinnamon no less. Oh, and they’re fried in… Wilber’s lard (ya know… adipose tissue) too… Just to piss off vegans even more. What a sober idea…

I’m thinking I should create a salmon skin snack that’s wrapped around a ground beef burger and freeze dried and topped with unagi. Now that’s a delicious nibble I know EVERYONE would enjoy.

I see dolla signs yo!

Or maybe I am about to black out.

Er. Um. Well. I am a tad on the tipsy, so yeah. Perhaps I am just like all the other people stuck in new food product think tanks. Trying to leap outside of the box, but just not hammering the nails into said box to make it secure.

Poetry I tell ya. Just call me Walt Whitman. Ha! Walt Eats Celebrities. Not quite the same ring as GiGi, so I guess I will stick to GiGi. Plus… Standing in the social security line to change my name again…

Actual scene from when I was at the Social Security office in Hollywood!

No thanks!

Any who… I mentioned my husband’s opinion of healthy food products spouting out of the wood works much like water out of a whales spout… Because well, ROUND TWO. DING DING! I went to the Natural Product Expo again this year and got a whole bunch of product samples so he… Wait no, so I… Could torture him by having him taste test all the goods.

Or bads. Or okays.

Man. I am a terrible wife. But don’t worry, I made it up to him. And he’s also a trooper. TEN-HUT!

So why don’t you just go and see how much he ADORED all the products I made him stick in his mouth.

The word ADORED is code for… Oh no, no hints are to be given by my gaping peephole. Just click play! But seriously… His reactions are priceless. Just DO NOT drink and watch this video… You might spit it out all over your computer and no one wants to deal with that catastrophe!

 SO TELL ME… 

• Just by the looks of all these food products, which would you spit out of your mouth?
• Do you like spicy foods? Have you ever eaten a Ghost Pepper?
• What is your favorite on the go snack food?
• Have you ever been to the Natural Product Expo (East or West)?
• What is the deal with Quest Bars people?
• In a future video… What should I have my husband do or eat?