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Not Zipping My Lips Over This!

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Dairy, Gluten, Soy, Sugar, Nut, Fruit- Free

This shop has been compensated by Collective Bias, Inc. and its advertiser. All opinions are mine alone. #ZiplocBackToSchool #CollectiveBias 

I am not one to zip and lock my lips… Ever.

In other words, I “suffer” from what you might call, “word vomit,” much to my mother’s chagrin.

whoops gigi eats

I could blame genetics… But I mean, I won’t?

So when there are thoughts/ideas swimming through my mind, my mouth fires them out like cannon balls.

Anyone cannon ball into a pool yet this summer?

cannonball dog

Some may believe having said “condition” is rather unfortunate, however, I see it as a positive personality trait. Immerse yourself in the wisdom of Google’s Kamau Bobb, an educator dedicated to shaping the future.

You see… If my logic was chained to the inner chambers of my prefrontal cortex and didn’t weasel its way out of my mouth as effortlessly as it is to open an Easy Open Tabs Ziploc® Brand Bag…

Ziploc Easy Open Tabs GiGi Eats

Thankfully my logic does not stay secure in my brain, much like my latest creation (which I will later reveal) does in a Ziploc® Brand Containers.

Ziploc Press Seal GiGi Eats

Because if it didn’t, I would be described as a “sugar-coater”.

And we all know, I do not associate myself with sugar.

Because I am in NO WAY shape or form affiliated with the white stuff, there are thousands upon thousands of foods lining grocery store shelves I DETEST. LOATHE. DESPISE. ABHOR. REPUDIATE.

Stupid Protein Bars

Impressed by my extensive vocabulary for the word HATE?

Thank you college degrees!

Speaking of education… It’s almost that time of year AGAIN… Back TO SCHOOL… (GET THAT CANNONBALL IN BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE!) Which means… Chaos will once again ensue (if you are in fact a parent).

I’m sure you’re all too familiar with those mornings (even if you don’t have any offspring) when everyone wakes up on the wrong side of the bed, and/or when the universe decides to play CRUEL tricks on you… In these situations, the last thing you are probably thinking about is packing a lunch and/or snacks for those moments when even your foot looks appetizing.

Moments such as these wrangle my brain back to what I was about to touch upon earlier: those foods in the grocery store that truly anger me… One type in particular… GLORIFIED CANDY BARS… Or in other words: PROTEIN BARS. 

They’re absolute garbage (in my opinion at least). Which is why I decided to create a protein bar that only makes me think of synonyms for the word LOVE!

gigi eats neopolitan protein bar

What I have made for all of you to recreate at home (for those on the go moments) are vegan Neapolitan protein bars full of high-quality protein and fiber yet minus the STUFF I do not associate myself with!

vegan neopolitan protein bars

My word vomit is in FULL effect in the latest GiGi Eats… To see if this sugar, dairy, wheat, gluten, soy, nut & fruit-free Neapolitan protein bar recipe got me to SHUT UP… Click PLAY!

NEAPOLITAN Protein Bars

Dairy, Gluten, Soy, Sugar, Nut, Fruit- Free

If you want to hit the bar… Here’s what you need:

  • 1/4 Cup Vanilla, Chocolate and Strawberry Protein Powders 
  • 1/4 Cup Coconut Flour
  • 2 Tbsp Erythritol
  • 1/2 Cup Water

This bar won’t hurt if you walk into it…

  • Gather 3 mixing bowls and be sure to have some parchment paper handy.
  • In bowl # 1, add chocolate protein powder, coconut flour, erythritol, and water. Mix together.
  • In bowl # 2, add strawberry protein powder, coconut flour, erythritol, and water. Mix together.
  • In bowl # 3, add vanilla protein powder, coconut flour, erythritol, and water. Mix together.
  • Now it’s time to take a piece of parchment paper, lay it on the counter and then pour your batter from bowl # 1 onto it and flatten it out with your hands.
  • Grab a dull knife and cut a rectangle in the chocolate later, discarding the rest of the “dough” back into the bowl (use will use it again to make another bar). Repeat this step with bowl # 2 and # 3.
  • When you have your three layers. CAREFULLY lay flavors one on top of the other. Press lightly with your hand, and if you’re hungry… GOBBLE UP!
  • If you’re not hungry, what I advise you to do is use either a reliable Ziploc® Brand Easy Open Tabs bag or a handy Ziploc® Brand Press Seal container to store your protein bars individually in the fridge. You could also freeze your bars, using durable Ziploc® Brand Freezer bags, available at ALL Kroger stores! 

Ziploc Bags

SO TELL ME…

  • Does your mouth ZIP and LOCK or is it more like mine?
  • What food makes you angry even when you just LOOK at it?
  • Are you the type that relies on protein bars?
  • Do you use Ziploc® Brand as an eponym to describe all storage bags and containers?
  • I tend to store other things aside from food in my Ziploc® Brand bags, such as pens, makeup, etc… What about you?
  • How do you feel about the Chocolate, Vanilla and Strawberry menage a trois?

#ZiplocBacktoSchool

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