My apologies for leaving you stranded in the middle of the Ionian Sea.

Honestly, though…

I am not sure I am actually sorry…

Because some of my favorite experiences happened out there.

But here I am, to rescue you, so hop on this life preserver boat (I know, my nautical terminology is SPOT ON…), and I will take you first to…

• Katakolon & Olympia… So we can explore where dudes used to run around ass naked competing with one another (I.E. Where the first Olympic games were held)…

The chefs (Chef Alban Gjoka and Chef Franck Garanger) aboard the ship knew Tara and I had to refuel after trying our hardest to figure out how to master the art of Pankration… So they treated us to…

• A sensational sampling of quite possibly the most exquisite dishes I have ever put into my mouth held in Privée, one of the most exclusive onboard dining venues that seats up to only ten people. These food sorcerers even went out of their way to make all of my meals dairy and gluten-free! 

And then we will cruise on over to…

• Corfu (no I did not sneeze)… To meet Tara’s new boyfriends wander the streets like the locals do, snagging the freshest produce and the UGLIEST fish we can find… While also learning about what results when an Apricot and a Mandarin Orange have a baby…

So we can then…

• Use those local delicacies in an onboard cooking class, taught by Chef Instructor Kellie Evans (if you’re a CHEESE LOVER, you will “MELT” over the recipes we created as they were all centralized around Feta Cheese).

And since we obviously didn’t get full after nibbling on our creations (this is where I curse having a dairy allergy)… We invite you to…

• An absolutely, positively, mouthgasmic Asian feast at Red Ginger, one of the nine ELEGANT restaurants aboard Oceania Cruises’ Riviera Cruise ship… Where I… Was given “weapons of mass food destruction”… That helped me eat HOW MANY PLATES of Chilean Sea Bass?

Then… Things just got a little weirder than usual…

And that’s saying something…

I bet you $5 you can’t guess what went down… So you probably want to CLICK PLAY!

So Tell Me…

• Scariest travel experience (i.e. emergency landing, shipwreck, etc)… Go! 
• Have you ever taken a cooking class? If so, what did you make and have you made it at home since? 
• Are you a fan of kumquats? 
• What do you typically order when you go out for Asian food?
• Have you ever been to Katakolon or Corfu? 
• How much money would it take for you to go streaking?

STAY TUNED FOR THE FINAL VIDEO OF OUR TRIP, which will probably be posted in TWO or THREE Tuesdays from now…

Next week… I will be revealing a HUGE LIFE EVENT… CAN YOU GUESS WHAT THAT MIGHT BE?