I am going to take this FORK I am holding (you can’t see me so just pretend) and shove it up HALLOWEEN’S ASS.
Obviously, I can’t actually do that because HALLOWEEN isn’t a physical PERSON… So the next best thing I can do is… Totally skip over the holiday here on the blog (and YouTube Channel) by offering all of you a NOT TO BE MISSED THANKSGIVING RECIPE (even if you don’t live in the states or already celebrated MY FAVORITE HOLIDAY OF THE YEAR, you’re going to need to stick around for this tasty bite)!
Now before I show you that mouthwatering morsel, I feel the need to explain to all of you why I abhor Halloween.
- CANDY: For someone who hasn’t be able to eat candy in at least 17-years, why the FORK would I want to partake in a day that is centralized around the sweet SHIT! No way, I am not bitter AT ALL, I don’t know what you’re talking about! Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups SUCK………
- ALCOHOL: I don’t drink. I used to when I was… Yep, I won’t disclose details about my BADASS keg-standing past… But I don’t now and I definitely don’t CURRENTLY thanks to the fact that alcohol is not a great way to help me grow my very own pumpkin (which is why I did not even go to a pumpkin patch this year). But seriously. Alcohol makes people do stupid things. And I don’t like stupid people. Need I say more?
- STAYING OUT LATE: You’ll find me tucked away in bed… At the very LATEST 11 pm, but more often than not my sleepy ass gets herself into bed around 9:15 pm only to pass out by 10 pm after the Budpop oil kicks in. I have been invited to Halloween parties (and parties in general) in the past that start… AFTER I MY BEDTIME. Unless you want me to come to your Halloween party “dressed up” as a sleepwalker… I ain’t coming. And even then, yeah, you’d have to be serving up some delicious salmon to even TEMPT my noctambulant ass. You know what? I probably cooked better salmon at home earlier that evening, so…
- SKANKS: People wear interesting things every day here in Los Angeles. I see half naked chicks everywhere (guys, please don’t move here just for that, Los Angeles is crowded enough as is)… However, when this “holiday” rolls around, these girls (and some guys too) seem to think they have been given the GREEN LIGHT to wear even more provocative clothing. Yes, I understand the term “skanks” is derogatory towards women (is WHORE better?) but FORK that… If you dress sleazy, I am not going to respect you (that also goes to all the 1/2 naked “Instagram Models”).
- DOUCHEBAGS: Did you read my last blog post. It is clear I am not a douchebag fan (who is?), and they are the majority at Halloween parties.
- LARGE CROWDS/LOUD PEOPLE: Despite my being a loud person myself, I know when to shut the FORK UP when need be. People on Halloween (or drunk people in general), do NOT KNOW how or when to put a fork in it and because of this… I am in bed by 10 pm.
WOW! Anyone else thinking I should dress up as a pregnant GRANDMOTHER this Halloween because I sound so “lame”?!
But hold a piping-hot cauldron… Who the FORK classified all the things I listed above as being “cool” or the “in” thing to do?
I want to take that blistering cauldron and smack THAT PERSON in the face with it.
Alas, I will not because… Well, I ain’t going out on any of the nights that a piping hot cauldron is available… So that person is safe!
Instead, I will just share with you (and I guess THAT PERSON as well if he/she reads my blog!) what I teased earlier… My ONE BITE THANKSGIVING WONDER!
THANKSGIVING INSPIRED DEVILED EGGS
To get GOBBLING… Click PLAY!
- 4 Whole Eggs (or more if you have a TON of leftovers)
- 2 Yolks (from the 4 Eggs)
- 3 oz Sweet Potatoes, diced (or pureed Sweet Potatoes)
- 3 oz Brussels Sprouts, diced
- 3 Whole Chestnuts, diced
- 2 oz Turkey Breast (or whatever you have left over)
- Cranberry Sauce/Syrup Drizzle, optional
- Honestly, you could really use any leftovers you have on hand!
If you’ve never made deviled eggs before, then watching this video is paramount in order to see how they’re prepared… But if you have, well then… Get your ingredients and GO FOR IT!
SO TELL ME…
- What are you doing/or what did you do… For Halloween?
- What’s your favorite holiday?
- Do you prefer going out at night or staying home?!
- What’s your favorite Halloween candy?
- Tell me a funny story about one of your past Halloweens!
- If you are celebrating (did celebrate) Halloween, what did you dress up as?! I want to see pictures! LINK EM! thanksgiving deviled eggs