In this edition of my never-ending quest to keep my husband alive… I once again TRY to save him from his chemical addiction.
This chemical addiction you ask…? “The Nectar of the Gods.”
Have any of you seen movies where the actor or actress takes a bottle full of warm milk away from an infant… And then chaos ensues…?
Yeah… My attempts of taking my husband‘s liquid obsession away from him have been pretty much just as “successful” as the time I was served cod at a restaurant and the server insisted it was salmon.
NOOOPPPEEEE.
You see, my husband has a grade A… Oral fixation for… Diet Coke.
I catch him caressing “her” with his lips… At least a half dozen times… Everyday.
Throw down the gauntlet… You bet one coked-out John Pemberton… I do (or try to do) just that.
Perhaps I am jealous? I mean, the marriage license says those lips are MINE, no?
Sadly… And as much as my feisty self hates to admit this… He tends to win our duels (I married one cunning 6’6″ giraffe) and to celebrate… He cracks open a cold one.
This all being said… In my latest attempt to wean him off “the tit”… I decided to enlist two of our closest friends for help… Who admit that they would probably need to go to Diet Cokes Anonymous if there were such a thing.
Now you’re all probably thinking that was a stupid tactic to take because Diet Coke addicts stick together…
It’s written under the bottle cap, just in case you were wondering…
But, what you don’t know about our friends, Dan and Steph, is that they are far more open-minded when it comes to trying new things… And I thought perhaps they might be able to sway my steadfast husband into liking a healthier alternative to their “can of chemicals”… If in fact, they did wind up liking one or some of the alternatives that I present to all of them.
If you’d LIKE TO KNOW if my scheme worked… Then you’re going to have to CRACK OPEN the video below…
WARNING: It’s HIGHLY CARBONATED.
SO TELL ME…
- Are you a NECTAR OF THE GODS addict?
- What advice can you give to those who want to quit drinking Diet Coke (or any diet soft drink for that matter)?
- Do you agree with our conclusions about the healthier alternatives?
- Out of Dan, Steph and Landon, who do you think has the most willpower to quit this sugar-free chemical-laced syrup?
- Does your spouse/significant other/partner have an unhealthy addiction that you’re trying to help them get over?
- What are YOU currently addicted to?
- You can’t tell me that video didn’t make you laugh so hard you peed a little… No?
Don’t FORGET to share this… It could potentially help someone!
